


studio 127

by geminiboys (thegreatmoon)



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Exes, Jealousy, M/M, Sitcom AU, text au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-10-06
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:00:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 57,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23463610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegreatmoon/pseuds/geminiboys
Summary: infamous screenwriter haechan is hired back to write for top sitcom “studio 127” in the midst of scandals. thing is, the lead actor is his ex boyfriend and muse, moon taeil
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Moon Taeil
Comments: 136
Kudos: 274





	1. a proper welcome from studio 127

**Author's Note:**

> hello ~~  
> these are narrative updates of my twt text au “studio 127”
> 
> i decided to make my narrative updates on ao3 bc i ,,,, make a lot of mistakes and they are impossible to correct on screenshots (unfortunately,,,) and :D yeah it’s a fun way to update and i’ll put a link of the chapters in the text au
> 
> as for the smut !! as some people might not want to read it, i’ll post separately ! if you have any questions whatsoever, my cc is always open !!! and if you wanna read the text au, the link is [here](https://twitter.com/thegreatmoon94/status/1241206362975227904?s=21)
> 
> xx  
> sol

Taeil entered the studio with his usual comfy oversized sweater that went down to his crotch and jeans pants. It was a last-minute call, but even if it wasn’t, he probably wouldn’t change his clothes much. He was famous, sure, but he never changed his casual style due to it.

Entering the studio, he was met with Joohyun and Yuta, who were already conversing.

“What’s this? Did Doyoung message you?” Taeil asked, coming close by and watching more people entering the set.

“Yeah, he just asked us to come to the studio,” Joohyun said. She too only wore an oversized sweater, along with leggings and her usual circle rimmed spectacles. Her hair was held high in a bun. She was almost as if Taeil’s feminine version, physically and personality-wise.

“From what I’ve heard it’s the new scriptwriter!” Yuta barged in excitedly. He was the odd piece of the group, dressed as a grunge rockstar for a mere emergency meeting. Taeil rather liked seeing what Yuta had to wear, always a flashy new piercing or tattoo, along with a piece of clothing that he was pretty sure wasn’t meant to be worn the way Yuta was wearing it. It always amazed him how Yuta could basically pull anything thrown at him and start tendencies randomly. There was no surprise to him being such a looked out model for brands.

Taeil felt his throat clench at this new information. “What?! Who is it?”

“Can be Suho or maybe a woman. Sunny has been well talked lately,” Yuta suggested, always having privileged inside information on who was hot at that moment.

“This will be interesting,” Joohyun murmured as a bell called all cast and crew members to the middle of the empty set.

“I feel sick...” Taeil whispered to himself but walked along with his friends, feeling his legs wobble.

❂

There was a good crowd. Doyoung was lucky most of the cast members were in the city and not off somewhere else shooting a commercial or a movie. As for the crew, it was Sunday and they had the day off from other work. Perfect for his announcement.

He walked in to the front of the half-moon circle that had been diligently formed by Mark and forced a smile that was able to pop a vein if he added a little more strength.

“Hello, everyone,” he greeted casually and the small chattering that had been going on turned silent. “First we are gathered here to talk about Mr. Jung’s unfortunate accident. Neo City does not condone that sort of behavior and thought better to exterminate Mr. Jung’s contract immediately.” The information was met with another wave of silence. Of course, it was obvious the impossibility of keeping Yunho once the story hit the media.

Doyoung pointed to a woman in the corner. She had long red hair and wore a suit. “There will also be a new external HR employee, Miss Park Sooyoung.” All eyes laid on her, analyzing the new stranger among their midst. Sooyoung looked nice and sweet, but Doyoung saw in the cast and crew’s eyes how they suspected her, as they did with most HR employees. “She will be hearing any complaints about pressure or abusive behavior in the workplace.” No interruption whatsoever. Only pure silence. Straining his smile even further, Doyoung clasped his hands together. “Since this is a last-minute meeting, I’ll let her speak to you during working hours. For now, I’ll introduce you to your new producer and screenwriter!”

Finally, some whispering started. Their blank faces turned either into excitement, fear or anxiousness. Whoever was to be their new director and screenwriter, this person was to set the future of Studio 127.

“I’m pretty sure you know them already and this will be a good return to our roots. Please welcome, Director Johnny Suh and Screenwriter Lee Haechan!”

Johnny and Donghyuck left the back of a loose scenery wall and were met with eager applause, whistles, and yells of encouragement. The only person who wasn’t doing any of those was Moon Taeil. He could only stare at Hyuck in extreme shock.

Donghyuck had changed a lot over the course of the year. His hair was curly and silver, he dressed like a proper studio writer, in a blue blazer, pants and a white shirt underneath. When he walked, he spared no glances whatsoever to Taeil, who was in the front row of the half-moon, as if he had VIP tickets to watch his own downfall. Hyuck even looked sort of bored and dreading the fact he was there, in complete opposition to Taeil’s loud heartbeats.

Taeil couldn’t stop staring at him, taking in every detail of him. He wished he would stop, but his eyes couldn’t stay a second away from him, as if a magnet made him look, take in his ex-boyfriend and how he was at that moment. He wished Hyuck would look at him, give him attention, perhaps a half-smile or a nod, but knew those were impossible. Donghyuck was like an unfazed rich lord, not sparing a glance to beggars.

Thankfully, after taking the round of applause and doing some dramatic bows, Johnny started talking and that helped Taeil drift his attention to him.

“Hey, everybody! How’s it hanging?” he asked very cooly, earning a big round of laughter. Johnny beamed at their reaction. “It’s been over a year and yeah, Haechan and I are movie stars right now, but we can always give some help to those in need huh?” Another round of cracked smiles. Taeil quickly glanced at Hyuck to see his reaction. He was still bored and ignoring his existence. Taeil returned to look at Johnny, who smiled brightly. He was dressed more casually than Hyuck, black pants, and loose yellow buttoned shirt.

For a second, Taeil endeared himself with the thought he had many times before of, if instead of falling for the difficult, sarcastic, stubborn and proud Haechan, he could have had his heart swayed by Johnny, with his big sweet smile, constant need for praises and kind personality. Maybe Taeil wouldn’t be the mess he was now and Studio 127 would never have needed a Jung Yunho of sorts. However, he had to fall for the incomprehensible soul that was Hyuck and that left him years later to be ignored by him, even if standing right in front of his gaze.

“Just kidding.” Johnny clarified his joke, pulling Taeil away from his daydream. “So, when Doyoung-“ A big cough came from Doyoung who watched everything with hawk eyes. “ _Mr. Kim_ suggested we go back, Haechan and I couldn’t say no because you guys were our family. We _are_ family. And we will always have our backs, even after some time apart.” Even if Donghyuck didn’t seem any interested in the idea of family, it was Johnny who was speaking and eventually everyone agreed with whatever he was saying. A big round of applauses happened and Johnny seemed even more excited. “Good! Haechan will rewrite the scripts for this season, I’ve heard there were some problems with these season’s script, so whatever you have to complain, talk to him, not me. But also give him space, pre-production has started and we need to get this thing rolling! Any problems you might have, you know my number.” He spoke very fast and clearly. Everyone nodded, ready to get this done with to either celebrate or go home. Taeil was the only one dreading this reunion.

“Haechan, wanna say a word?” Johnny asked, giving his spotlight to his partner.

Taeil could see Haechan holding himself not to roll his eyes. In the end, he answered simply and dry.

“No.”

Trying to tone down Hyuck’s lack of respect and the silent response he was met with, Johnny did what he always did in these situations, a joke. “Inspiring words, worthy of an Oscar! Made me cry, man.” And it always worked because everyone was laughing once again and Johnny was back in the game. “That’s it, guys. See you when we hand in the scrips and in the next table read.”

Taeil stood there, absolutely static. Everyone moved around, mostly either in their own friendship circles, others to go home but most circled around Johnny. Only Joohyun stood by Taeil, while Yuta went to greet Jungwoo, his secret boyfriend in the hair and makeup session.

Taeil watched as Haechan slipped through the fingers of every single person who tried to get a hold of him, either faking a smile or purely telling some lie. He took the stairs to the director’s office.

“Moontie?” Joohyun asked and Taeil took his eyes off Hyuck for a second. His friend frowned, her lips involuntarily pouting as she searched for Taeil’s eyes to make sure he was okay.

Taeil wanted to reassure Joochu he could do it, that it didn’t affect him at all, that he was over Donghyuck for almost a year now. He ended up doing none of these.

“Fuck Lee Haechan,” he muttered, following his ex’s steps towards the director’s office.

❂

At the top of the stairs, there was a room in which almost the entirety of the set could be observed through its big glass windows. It was only fair, given the director’s job was to oversee everyone else’s job. Taeil barged in to find Hyuck sitting on his chair, legs on top of a table.

The room was a big blank, Yunho’s furniture already gone in just two days. The desk remained and Hyuck was the most colorful thing there, catching Taeil’s entire attention.

The actor walked with decided steps to his direction. “What are you doing here?” he inquired angrily.

Haechan seemed unaffected. He still didn’t bother changing his relaxed posture or even sparing Taeil a glance. “Going shopping, heard a studio is a great place to do the groceries.”

Taeil didn’t let his irony stop his questioning. “Cut it off. Why did you come back?”

Donghyuck shrugged, moving his silver locks around. Still didn’t look at Taeil. “Paying is good and I’ve been unemployed lately.”

“Can anything that comes out of your mouth be less sarcastic?” Taeil asked in exasperation.

“I don’t know, can you ignore my existence?” Hyuck’s tone was less bored, more urgent. Taeil knew he was slowly getting under his skin.

“Not when my job is at stake,” Taeil retorted. Haechan was quiet, looking down at the set with tiredness. “Won’t you answer any of my questions?” Taeil insisted.

Finally, Hyuck turned his head to Taeil’s direction. Even if his eyes were still unfocused, Taeil was getting somewhere. “Not that I owe you any satisfaction, but Johnny asked and I, contrary to _some_ people, am loyal.” A dramatic pause. Donghyuck raised his eyes to meet Taeil’s for the first time and has a sad smirk on his face. “This wasn’t sarcasm, as you see.”

Taeil felt shivers coming down his spine. Donghyuck wouldn’t take his eyes off him at that moment, making sure they stayed there, burning Taeil’s skin.

“You have a snake’s tongue,” Taeil commented with apprehension.

Hyuck seemed to take that as a compliment and his smile opened wide. “Exactly what makes me a good screenwriter. Anything else you want me to offer you, your highness?”

As always, Hyuck’s careless attitude and teasing words fueled Taeil not to be so careful anymore and he spoke louder. “Do fucking _not_ give my character a bad storyline. Do not make me read arcs and stories that are stings at our relationship.”

Donghyuck watched Taeil’s speech without ever taking his eyes off him and with his dumb smile curling his lips. When Taeil was over, he tilted his head, playfully thoughtful. “Stings are bee’s doings and we’ve already established I’m a snake.”

“Just answer the damn question,” Taeil insisted, not having any more time for Hyuck’s wordplays. He always did this, entrapping Taeil in his dialogues, picking up things that were said minutes, hours, days, months and even years before. Taeil knew very well what sort of animal Haechan was. Not a snake, not a bee. A spider trapping people on his web of words and Taeil was just another victim.

“If I don’t follow your guidelines, what will you do? Break my heart again?” Hyuck asked, finally taking his legs from the table and having a straight posture.

Slowly Taeil approached the table and leaned over it.

“I can make your life hell here as much as you can make mine,” he whispered without any trace of a smile.

His threat hung silently in the room. Haechan looked at Taeil defiantly, a little hard to read. It was a tough threat to make, one that implied too many things to be said out loud, especially without crying or losing temper.

Donghyuck started speaking, very polite and clear. “I like Jude too much to give him a bad character arc. He is my character after all.” Taeil felt a weight leaving his shoulders for nothing would kill himself more than to watch his own part be destroyed. Donghyuck, however, continued. “As for the storylines... can’t promise you about that, some things just slip past me,” he concluded with a shrug.

“You better do your best-“

Donghyuck rose from his seat in one swift move, interrupting Taeil. “Or what? You will kick me out? Break my heart? Leave me friendless? All of those episodes have been aired, baby, it would just be some old reruns and they aren’t that exciting.”

Before Taeil had time to retort for a real fight to unfold, the door opened making a loud noise. Taeil turned around to find Johnny, who, having gotten rid of the cast and crew, went to his room. His eyes frenetically changing focus on him or Donghyuck. “What’s happening here?”

Haechan dropped himself to the chair again and put his legs over the table. “Taeil begging me to sleep with him _again_. Better call Miss Park up here so we can discuss sexual harassment.” He paused and seemed to have another idea before adding, “Better yet, call Doyoung and see where exactly in this set can we fuck-“

Not wanting to watch Hyuck fade himself in his countless amounts of irony filled banter, Taeil muttered, “Absolutely disgusting,” and turned around to leave.

He was already by the door when he heard Hyuck yell, “It’s okay, I’ll pity fuck you some other time!”

Taeil slammed the door.

Johnny turned to Hyuck immediately after Taeil left. He looked disappointed and about to scold his partner. “Dude, it’s not even been 10 minutes.”

Hyuck arched his eyebrows and let out a sigh. “Well, that’s what I get for dating the spoiled leading man...”

“Do not feed on fights with your arrogance and sarcasm,” Johnny advised, eyeing Hyuck closely.

“You mean my personality? I will try,” Hyuck said, but both knew that wasn’t possible. What Johnny could only hope for was that he or someone sane would always be there to stop a possible fight or make-out session between the two, even if that also wasn’t possible.

❂

“Fucking Lee Heachan!” Taeil yelled while kicking the asphalt. They were leaving the set, Joohyun running to catch up with him while Yuta easily followed him.

“How was talking with him?” Yuta questioned. Taeil didn’t miss his shining eyes and joyous attitude but didn’t make mention to them.

“Arguing with Donald Trump must be easier,” Taeil groaned, kicking some loose rocks on the asphalt again.

Joohyun came next to him and softly caressed his back. “That’s tough...”

Yuta, on the other hand, was thoughtful. “Well, Donald Trump thinks he is smart but ain’t smart, while Hyuck is smart and _knows_ he is smart. I see where the problem is.”

Taeil nodded and finally, his anger gave way to exhaustion. “When he wasn’t deflecting me with sarcasm, he just hit directly at me and what happened to us. Fuck. I hate him.”

“Why did you talk to him, Moontie?” Joohyun asked when they finally got to the parking lot. They stopped by Taeil’s fashionable yellow Lamborghini.

“You know I’m a fool when it comes to him...” he sighed in defeat.

“I know but now you should try to stay away...” Joohyun advised. Taeil agreed and they parted their ways, each entering their cars with much to think in mind.

❂

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [return to the next text au update by clicking here ](https://twitter.com/thegreatmoon94/status/1246889286999379973?s=21)


	2. table read? read my lips!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the table read happens

“Hey everyone. Good to be back,” Johnny greeted the cast as they took their seats on the round table. Round tables were the best for script reads so everyone could be seen and heard but it didn’t mean there wasn’t a hierarchy in place. The director and scriptwriter always sat together, along with the Art director so they could whisper the ideas they had for the scene. The actors sat across them. “I’ll read the script directions and you’ll read your respective characters. For guest actors, Haechan will gladly do the lines,” he informed with a kind smile. Haechan seemed to be taken by surprise with this announcement.

“No I won’t!” he retorted loudly.

“Yes, you will!”

“No, I won’t!”

“Yes you will or I’ll share everyone the script of your first sketch,” Johnny threatened while still keeping his smile. The rest of the crew and actors watched the scene while holding their laughs.

Haechan shrugged, “I don’t care-“

Before he could finish his sentence, Johnny turned to the rest of the table and began the story, “It was called Kim Kardashian Fart session and it was-“

Everybody was already bursting in laughter, Yuta being the loudest. Haechan stole a quick glance at Taeil and even he was smiling, even if his eyes were focused on Johnny.

“Shut up!” he interrupted the director in despair. “I was a drama writer trying to do comedy!” was his poor explanation. Seeing people didn’t stop laughing because of it, he just sat down. “I’ll read your stupid guest lines...”

“Wonderful.” Johnny smiled victoriously and also sat next to his partner. “Any questions?” he asked the rest of the table.

“I have one regarding my charact-“ Joohyun started speaking but was soon cut off by Johnny.

“We will only hear constructive criticism after the read, Joohyun. We will see how it goes.” The actress nodded in agreement and returned to her seat. Everyone was settled, but there was still a red haired woman in the corner of the room. “Oh, and I should tell you we are joined today by the dazzling Miss Park Sooyoung. Let’s not traumatize her,” the director said with a sly smile. “Let’s start! _Cold open_. Scene opens to Studio 127, where Jude and Max are checking out beats. There is a weird tension between them...”

The table reads happened as it normally did. Many laughs over the characterization, some points here and there on acting, a few questions. But it mostly consisted of purely reading the script Haechan had written.

Being one of the main characters, Taeil rarely took his eyes off the script and Haechan found it to be the perfect time to look him closely. Taeil very easily found his eyes and that was the reason Haechan avoided directing any glance to him, but now that he was busy and with many more eyes on him, the scriptwriter could analyze him with ease.

He still hadn’t bleached his hair, which remained bright red. Yerim was right, the color did make his red dry lips pop especially on the rare occasions the actor would involuntarily pout softly. He hid his hands on the paws of his pink sweater and looked sleepy. Haechan missed finding Taeil sleeping somewhere on the set, sometimes on his trailer, sometimes on his waiting chair. He dozed off easily, with his mouth open and Haechan would try to find him a comfortable position to sleep in. Sometimes he even managed to escape the chaotic onset life and sleep next to his boyfriend on the trailer, wrapping his arms around him protectively. Taeil woke up a few minutes later and rubbed his eyes in a confused state, asking if it was time for his scene. Hyuck assured him that it wasn’t and they kissed lazily until some assistant called them over or even Johnny himself came on banging on the trailer’s door.

A round of loud laughs took Haechan out from his trance. Taeil was performing a set of lines that weren’t meant to be particularly funny when first written, but Taeil’s cute and adorably innocent characterization of Jude put a new flavor to it. Taeil was naturally funny and Haechan hated him for it.

“I think you can make Jude more scandalous,” the scriptwriter interrupted the laughs. It was the first time he had spoken in that table read apart from some guest lines he had read. The atmosphere in the room was tense.

“Hm?” Taeil was confused by the comment and tilted his head, playing innocent. Haechan wanted him to lose control and scream with him.

“This line. Jude can be more shocked, it’d be funnier,” Haechan explained with fake kindness.

“That’s not my style of comedy. I’m not Jim Carrey,” Taeil replied coldly, but not too harsh to alarm anyone.

“Well-“ Haechan was about to continue the argument when Johnny decided to end the discussion right there.

“Let’s have this debate while filming, huh? For now, let’s just finish the script read,” he said between light chuckles, but Haechan could see from his alarmed smile that he wasn’t happy that interaction was taking place.

Things returned to normality. As always, Yuta, Joohyun, and Taeil earned the most laughs, Taeil being the funniest as the famous main character. If comedy was all about timing, somehow Taeil subverted this idea. He dragged out jokes and moments Haechan had originally conceived as quick, quickened longer laughs and sometimes insisted on jokes that no one would dare doing. He was the perfect actor, a comedy genius and Haechan felt his heart ache because that man was once his source of inspiration, his personal muse, but he couldn’t drink from that fountain anymore.

“So, guys. What do you think of the script?” Johnny asked, clasping his hands together and gathering everyone’s attention.

Taeil was the first one to speak up and Haechan rolled his eyes. “Are you going to keep the ‘will they, won’t they’ troupe for Max and Jude even though they kissed at the end of last season?”

Johnny didn’t look at Haechan, instead choosing to answer it himself since Taeil had his eyes directed at him. “Yeah, we thought the decision for them to kiss came before both characters were ready for it. So, they will move on with their lives, still having the kiss pop up here and there, but we will keep the friendly sexual tension going.”

“If I may, Johnny?” Haechan asked way too politely from his usual self.

Johnny was confused but allowed his friend to continue answering the question.

“Max and Jude have other things to worry about and their ‘will they, won’t they’ works out great so far. So I decided to keep it rather than have a rushed out romance,” Haechan said, using the opportunity to lock eyes with Taeil. He thought he had picked a surprised expression on Taeil’s face but it was soon over.

“But then it seems like you’re keeping them apart for only entertainment values and not for their characters,” Taeil retorted, pretending to be sweetly curious. Haechan knew him better and saw his purpose was to entice him to get angry but wouldn’t take the bait.

“It’s TV, of course it’s for entertainment values. But also because of characters. Unfortunately, people tend to think established relationships are boring! You understand that _perfectly_ , right Taeil?”

His eyes sparkled as he gave another careful sting at Taeil. It felt even tastier knowing it was in public and Taeil couldn’t acknowledge it.

“What?!” the actor exclaimed in shock.

“As an actor, don’t you think blooming romances tend to interest the audience more than established relationships?” Haechan said calmly with an easy smile. Taeil had a blush on his high cheekbones. Of anger or embarrassment, Haechan couldn’t be sure, but he hoped it was of anger.

“Yeah...” Taeil agreed in a low voice.

Johnny, probably trying to keep that interaction from lasting any longer, turned to the rest of the cast and crew. “Any other inquiries?”

Joohyun finally asked the question she had stuck in her throat the entirety of the table read. “So, the romantic interests will be Jude with Max and Irene with Sabrina?”

“Y’all know this is a sitcom and not Gossip Girl right?” Haechan joked, making everyone laugh. “But no, Joohyun, Jude also gets a fuck buddy in the middle of the season. It’s for... entertainment values. You’ll see when I’m ready with the scripts.” He could feel Taeil watching him closely and becoming angry at the news of another romantic interest for him, but Haechan didn’t give him the pleasure of a glance. He tried not looking at Taeil when he knew his ex was looking at him. “Anything else?”

Yuta raised his hand cutely up in the air and started jumping. “Me! Me! Me!”

Haechan rolled his eyes again but a smile curled his lips. “Yuta.”

“Thank you, Haechanie!” Yuta spoke excitedly. “Will we have more intertextual slash parody episodes? I missed those ones... Yunho didn’t write them a lot...” he complained looking like a lost puppy.

“You mean at all!” Seulgi interjected, obviously mad.

“Thanks, Yuta, for making the important questions here!” Haechan exclaimed in excitement. Finally a question about comedy writing in his comedy show. “With parody episodes you mean like... an episode in which they talk in Shakespearian English as if in a play? You bet there is gonna be one!”

“Fuck yeah!” Yuta raised a fist in the air and people looked happy with the news. Haechan was too, he was planning a hell of an episode.

“Everyone happy? Well, I don’t care, I’m done talking!” Haechan announced, already jumping from his seat. Before everyone could follow suit, Johnny stopped them.

“Wait. Before everyone goes out, Miss Park would like the actors to stay for small interviews over office relationships,” he said with an awkward smile. Sooyoung popped from her corner with a kind smile, with her faithful suitcase always on her hand.

“This is going to be fun for Taeil!” Yuta joked loudly. If it was anyone else, the joke would be met with silence but it was Nakamoto Yuta so everyone laughed their asses off.

“Nayu...” Taeil muttered embarrassingly. Haechan couldn’t help but steal a glance at him and his even redder cheeks.

❂

While the actors took one interview at a time with the HR woman, Haechan was ok the corner of the room talking with the Art director so she would stop giving Max suspenders and also shared ideas for new items of his clothing. After he was done, promising to send her more stuff to work on, Haechan turned to see a pair of sharp eyes right in front of him. How unusual.

“Haechan,” Joohyun called him with a respectful nod.

“Joohyun. What a pleasure seeing you,” he greeted back.

Joohyun didn’t seem impressed. “Differently than most people, I’d rather you keep it sarcastic than lie to my face,” she informed in all seriousness.

“Your blunt honesty always turned me on,” Haechan said with a smirk.

She ignored him and went straight to what she was there to talk about. “We have a good professional relationship, right?”

The scriptwriter shrugged. “We don’t talk. I don’t know if that’s what you mean by professional, but I think it’s great.”

“Well, I wish to keep not talking to you. Just let Taeil alone,” her eyes sparkled at the last sentence. Haechan was amused at that little bunny trying to scare him off by protecting the shy koala.

“He can die alone for all I care,” he commented truthfully.

“Then stop calling him a whore for anyone who will listen,” she retorted but Haechan didn’t mind it, rolling his eyes and starting to put his stuff in his bag so he would leave that place the fastest he could. “This doesn’t make you better than Yunho,” Joohyun added and Haechan dropped the glasses’ case on the table.

“Please _do_ go there. Why don’t you step lower and compare me with Satan himself?”

She seemed glad to have taken an ounce of emotion out from Haechan but still didn’t smile, only emphasizing her argument further to get a reaction from him. “You are doing the same thing, Haechan. Calling your actor a whore. That’s what Yunho did.”

“Thing is, _you_ aren’t a whore,” Haechan pointed out, trying to avoid Joohyun’s eyes.

“Is this meant to be a compliment?” she inquired with a frown.

“It’s stating the facts,” he corrected in a heartbeat.

Joohyun looked worried, frowning so hard Haechan was starting to consider her eyebrows might fall off. “Has your jealousy made you so blind to take conspiracy theories for facts?”

He was growing annoyed by that woman who was the size of a child and thought she could demand any satisfaction for him. “How much did Taeil tell you, huh? About Jaehyun?”

“Jaehyun is not the point here.”

“Oh. He is always the point,” Haechan spoke bitterly with a dry chuckle. “Ask Taeil how he managed to get the part for these Marvel movies before you tell me what I can or cannot call him.”

For the first time, Joohyun didn’t seem to have a flashy truth to thrown at Haechan’s face and he felt victory at last. He knew he had shocked her and that Taeil probably hadn’t mentioned anything to her, keeping his secrets to himself until he died. He wondered if anyone actually knew why the two had broken up.

“I managed to shut Lady Truth huh,” he boosted with a smirk.

Joohyun shook her head. “Haechan, no matter what Taeil did-“

He interrupted her, still strong from his victory. “It does matter. I call a man who kills people a murdered, a man who belittles women a sexist and a person who sells their body and honor for a job and money a whore,” he stated casually. The word ‘whore’ was so talked and only a person flashed through his mind when he spoke it, so he felt imagine blood wash through his mouth when it was pronounce. “It’s not that hard, Joohyun,” he concluded in a patronizing way.

Joohyun was completely through with that conversation. She cut Haechan off. “Then should I call you a coward every time I see you? Because that’s exactly what you are, hiding behind your poisonous words, acting civil but killing Taeil from the inside.” Haechan had a reply ready on the tip of his tongue, but he was cut off again by the actress. “As you like it when I’m blunt, I’ll keep it real with you, Haechan. I consider you a genius, one of the best writers of this generation, making us shine through your words. But whenever you call Taeil a whore you’re making him be only a product of _your_ creation and not his hard-work and abilities. That’s fucking pretentious and disgusting in my opinion,” she stated, coming awfully closer to him to murmur her threat. “Bottom line is, call him a whore one more time where it can reach my ears and I won’t care if Taeil slept with Kim Doyoung himself for a role, I will _finish_ your career.”

She turned around just in time that Taeil had been released from his interview with Sooyoung and they met by the door, smiling to each other. Haechan tried not to look at Taeil but their eyes still met and Taeil lost his smile. Both turned around quickly, not bothering to say goodbye.

❂

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [return to the next text au update by clicking here ](https://twitter.com/thegreatmoon94/status/1250266221389336576?s=21)


	3. new york hasn’t changed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> taeil and haechan go to new york

Taeil was late, as he usually was. He sometimes liked to think it was part of his stardom actor persona, but in reality, he just liked his sleep. In the old days, when they were together, Donghyuck would be mad at him for he overslept before a date, but Taeil honestly didn’t mean to act so carelessly. He always managed to shy away Hyuck’s pout with many kisses placed from his neck to his mouth.

That time however, he couldn’t quite do the same. Arriving at the plane in a breathless state, Taeil quickly found his seat opposite to Haechan, who was writing something on his notebook. He took his eyes from his annotations very briefly to observe the marathon-winner Taeil sprawled on the seat on the other side of the small corridor of the private plane. Taeil was still dizzy due to the lack of oxygen in his brain, but he didn’t perceive any clear difference in his expressions. No pout for him to kiss away.

He returned his eyes to his notes, arching his eyebrows, “Late again, hm...”

Taeil nodded and let himself take a closer look at Haechan. He was wearing a blue buttoned-up shirt and black pants. His reading glasses were at the tip of his nose and he casually bit his bottom lip while adding more to the page. Ah, how he hated himself for falling for the pretentious genius sorta type, but he couldn’t deny Haechan looked hot at that moment. It’d be easier for him if he wasn’t...

“Ready for a hell of a flight, mister?” Haechan asked, closing his notebook for a moment. Taeil opened his mouth hut immediately closed when he noticed it was a rhetorical question and Haechan was already pulling his earphones out of his backpack.

For the entirety of their travel, they spent in complete silence. Haechan didn’t direct his gaze to Taeil anymore, occupied with his notes and the airplane window, leading to the actor suddenly remembering on how pitiful he was when he tried attracting Haechan’s eyes back on the dat they first started working together. It was sincerely pathetic, how much he wanted to please and have Haechan’s attention for him, even knowing it was wrong. They were supposed to be work friends and, on top of that, Haechan had a boyfriend at the time, he couldn’t be bothered by rookie actors who thought he was smart and sexy.

Taeil entertained himself with a book, “Anna Karenina”. It was big enough to keep his thoughts from trailing back to the past. Only when the captain’s voice was heard in the plane’s speaker, he knew they were arriving. Through Haechan’s window, New York could be seen, with its big skyscrapers and car filled city. He didn’t lean over the writer, contempt to look at that grey city from his seat.

The place where he met Donghyuck for the first time while working. Taeil closed his book. He couldn’t focus anymore.

❂

They took a car straight to the Ed Sullivan theater. An assistant would do their check-in in the 5-star hotel of choice, where Taeil and Haechan would obviously have separate bedrooms, just like they had in season three promotions.

“New York doesn’t change,” Taeil sighed while taking a look at the loud traffic outside the car’s window and touching the glass, making sure to be as close to the city as he could.

“But we did,” Haechan murmured bitterly. He didn’t look at the window nor at Taeil.

“I still miss it. Los Angeles is too distant...” Taeil rested his back on the car’s seat. He came closer to Haechan before saying, “I like being close...”

The writer didn’t move, not paying attention to Taeil’s words or movement. “Are we set on what funny story we should share?” he asked, turning to look at the red-haired. For a moment he wondered why hadn’t Taeil bleached his hair already if filming was to start soon and it’d also be good promotion. He almost questioned that, but knew the topic would end in a fight so he ignored his urges. “Better it not be any romantic one or else people will think we... you know...”

Taeil frowned in confusion. “What?”

Haechan let out a noisy breath. Taeil played naive too much. “Haven’t gotten over each other,” he spoke out loud. Taeil’s averted his eyes this time. “So?”

A smile rose to his cheekbones. “The Joohyun lesbian one is great.”

“Doyoung is gonna have a fit over it,” Haechan commented, and, for a second, it seemed like Taeil was about to lose his smile, but he was quick to add, “I love it.”

❂

Arriving at the empty Ed Sullivan theater, Taeil was in complete awe. He left the dressing room he was sharing with Haechan to come to the stage, letting the door open. Haechan followed him, with this unthinking feet leading the way, and they looked at the empty seats with nostalgia of something they never had.,

“It was my dream to go to Broadway...” Taeil reminisced with a sad smile on his lips.

Haechan took some steps to be by his side. “I’m only lucky I snatched you first.”

Taeil huffed, turning his face from the audience. “As if there was high competition for me.”

Holding himself back from rolling his eyes, Haechan said, “You always act so clueless, it’s not as cute anymore.”

Taeil turned to him completely, a sappy smile on his lips and round eyes shining. “So was I ever cute in your eyes?”

Haechan was taken back for his bluntness. The entire trip Taeil had casually looked at him, sometimes touched his shoulder, made a layered insight, though nothing as obvious ias that. Taeil’s smile grew the more it took for Haechan to find a proper answer.

“Is flirting with me part of your second nature? Can you only speak to me sultrily or yelling?” Haechan retorted while acting unimpressed.

Taeil seemed to have taken offense. “Is being ironic your _only_ language?”

A smug smile appeared on Haechan’s lips. “Yeah. Not that you mind apparently, you keep flirting so willingly with me.” He raised one eyebrow and mockingly bit his lower lip.

Taeil’s lips trembled and his cheeks warmed. “Ah, you’re impossible!” he exclaimed, leaving the stage.

“Broadway would have suited your dramatic soul!” Haechan yelled at him as he left, a dry chuckle escaping his lips. What were the two even doing?

❂

“My next guests were known as the power couple of television and now they are back... but only as television collaborators. Please welcome, Lee Haechan and Moon Taeil,” Stephen Colbert’s clear voice greeted them in the auditorium.

Together, but not hand in hand, Haechan, and Taeil stepped on the brightly illuminated stage at the sound of a band’s tune. Haechan recognized instantly as the show’s intro and smiled.

They hugged Stephen midway and went to the two armchairs. He was happy there was no need for a couch and it would be easier for them not to touch each other. Taeil sat the closest to the talk show host.

“Hello, Stephen, glad to be back,” Haechan said with a smile.

“My pleasure, my pleasure,” Stephen replied, waiting for the two to be properly set. “So tell me. As an icebreaker question. How is it trying not to kill each other on set?”

A round of laughter happen, Taeil himself smiling at the host.

“We haven’t started recording yet, we will be back with that answer in a few months,” Haechan replied and more laughter was heard. Oh, how ego softening was it to be in front of a live audience.

“Sorta hard, Haechan can be very hard to deal with. Johnny knows it best,” Taeil cut in between the laughs, making Stephen look surprised.

“Many people want you dead, Haechan,” the host informed.

“Yeah, my executive producer is one of them,” Haechan joked and the audience ate it up. Stephen himself looked pleased.

“How did this arrangement come about? Why did you decide you should come back to the show?”

The show went on smoothly. They told Joohyun’s story and it was surely well met, especially added with Stephen’s jokes and the band’s occasional background music for comedic effect. Taeil talked about his Marvel movie but changed the subject to “Studio 127” very quickly and subtly before Haechan could become uncomfortable and have his thoughts dragged to Jung Jaehyun. On the other hand, a surprised Haechan spoke about his latest movie endeavors and working with different actors, something he did not think he’d be asked about.

It was common for Taeil to laugh and touch Haechan’s shoulder, sometimes push him playfully and have his eyes completely focused on him whenever Haechan talked for a little longer. The writer would feel his stomach bubbling with a long stare and his skin tingling from his touch, but tried to ignore the feeling as he himself did the same to Taeil. He sincerely hoped Doyoung was watching, for he was ready to kill him for making their relationship something he could play with for marketing.

“Wow, I doubted you two, not gonna lie, but, you have great chemistry. Was it an okay transition from boyfriends to only friends?” Stephen asked when they were close to ending the show.

“Yeah, Taeil is so good to talk to. It’s always relaxing and good. He is one of a kind,” Haechan answered, stealing a glance at Taeil. His ex looked almost shy at the compliments.

Stephen nodded, playing with his cue cards. “You used to say he was your muse. Has this changed?”

Haechan gulped. He hadn’t heard that question in a while, not even questioned himself of it to be certain of how he felt. At that moment he was only angry at his stupidity of being so openly endeared by Taeil, though there was no way he would say that. The cameras were rolling and he had to say something for those watching. “Rather the meaning of muse changed to me. It is rawer, but I still find my inspiration in him.” There was a pause in which Haechan could almost see Taeil’s breath hitch and their gazes locked for second before he leaned in and continued, eyes on Stephen. “As I do in other people.”

Stephen turned his eyes to Taeil. “How about you, Taeil?” The red-haired was shocked by hearing his name and turned around quickly. “How do you feel about Haechan being back?”

Taeil smiled sweetly and spoke quietly. “Haechan is a genius writer. He will only use this title ironically, but the way he connects the plot, creates characters... He understand that world so well, in his movies he’s able to throw that away altogether, it’s magnificent. To see it come true before our eyes and be part of that is one of my greatest accomplishments.”

As it was of Taeil’s charms, people were mesmerized by his words and he gained a quick round of applause which made him smile at the audience. Stephen wasn’t completely taken by his answer.

“How about Haechan the person? Lee Donghyuck, per se?”

Taeil paused for a second, thinking. Haechan was almost scratching his seat, so eager he was for this answer. When Taeil finally spoke again, he went straight to the point. “He tells the truth bluntly. He is harsh. Very stubborn. But I’ve never quite met someone as passionate as him.”

The audience cooed at the last sentence and Stephen smile at Taeil’s cuteness. Haechan was surprised by the choice of words but had a reply on his tongue.

“Everyone acting as if this was cute but he just slandered me to be soft in the end!”

Another round of laughter. Taeil blinked slowly at him. Haechan involuntarily smile at him. They turn their attention to Stephen to wrap up the interview.

❂

At the dressing room, the two picked their belongings. Since they would be going out after the show, there was no need for a change of clothes.

Taeil looked gorgeous in a yellow buttoned-up shirt and black pants, while Haechan was wearing a simple grey blazer along with a dark blue shirt. It matched his hair perfectly, Taeil thought that as they gathered their things from the dressing room.

“So, I am passionate?” Haechan questioned while teasingly biting his bottom lip.

Taeil had just gotten his belongings and had deemed their interactions over by the silence of the dressing room, but with Haechan he was always wrong. He felt his heart weaken. “Do not, Lee Haechan—“

“I hope I don’t burn you with my passionate heart,” Haechan interrupted, taking a step closer to Taeil while raising an eyebrow. Taeil was silent and Haechan chuckled it off. “We did well, Moon Taeil...”

“We did. Got some good laughs,” he reckoned. Haechan nodded and moved on to the door. Taeil fidgeted before the question escaped his lips. “What are you doing tonight?”

Haechan turned around with yet another smug smile. “Are you asking me out? Has the flirter in you not died yet by the power of my sarcasm?”

“Not asking you out...” Taeil muttered shyly while avoiding his eyes, but was ignored.

“I have one ticket to a sold out performance of ‘The Scarlet Letter’. Johnny bought it both as an irony and for me to have what to do this lonely night,” Haechan said. Taeil shook his head and was ready to be done with the issue, but Haechan continued. “How about you?”

“I’ll go out for drinks with some friends from the theater...”

“That’s nice,” Haechan said half-heartedly.

“Yeah...” Taeil agreed, also failing to show excitement.

Somehow an energy shock went through Haechan and he was smiling brightly the next second. “New York isn’t so bad after all, we’ve barely spent time with each other!” he announced joyously while touching the door’s knock. “See you tomorrow at the checkout!”

Taeil bid his goodbye wondering if it was really that bad for Haechan to spend some time alone together with him. It probably was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [return to the next text au update by clicking here ](https://twitter.com/thegreatmoon94/status/1254883956622843904?s=21)


	4. drink lips, kiss water

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> haechan meets taeil in a bar

Haechan was hyperventilating in that cold night in New York and Johnny could clearly see his friend’s state by the droplets of sweat that wetted his forehead and the amount of warm air that left his mouth.

“Calm down, Hyuck—“ he tried soothing his friend but was cut off immediately.

“Please don’t call me Hyuck in front of them,” Haechan requested since his artistic name had been mostly well met, except by his friend who would sometimes drop his real name. It was important that people knew him by Haechan first and foremost and only a few lucky ones to ever get to know Donghyuck.

“Fine, fine,” he agreed, putting on his coat. They had just left the theater and the night was freezing. Haechan’s hands were shaking but Johnny wasn’t sure it was only due to the cold. “Did you like Joohyun this much?”

Haechan nodded eagerly. “She is great. That Yuta is great too. But... Taeil...”

His eyes lost focus for a moment and he had no trail of thought.

“Yeah?” Johnny encouraged him to speak after a long pause. He looked at his friend apprehensively.

“He is phenomenal...” Haechan finally completed his thought, turning around to face Johnny with a smile of incredulity. “Was I the only one to see it?”

Johnny’s face was blank, only his warm breath was to be seen leaving his lips. “I don’t know...” He certainly didn’t meet Haechan’s enthusiasm, who was taken back for a moment.

“Maybe I’m delirious, but I felt something there...” he trailed off again, remembering Taeil’s performance on stage while singing rocky folk tunes. God, he was exhilarating! Haechan wanted to go home and write a small tale about him that instant. Perhaps Taeil would he an artist struggling to find his inner voice or maybe a young man who couldn’t make the ends meet. It didn’t matter, all it mattered was that Haechan would have Taeil in mind when writing these characters.

“Well, you can tell him that now we are meeting at the bar—“

Haechan was alarmed by that suggestion. “Please don’t. The last thing I wish is to look pitiful in front of a bunch of actors,” he whined while putting his shaking hands in his pocket. “We will just greet them, call the main trio to the side so they will out for these parts, and go drink in some other bar...” Haechan muttered, already crossing the street to arrive at said-bar where the cast usually took some drinks after the last Sunday night performance.

Johnny modded and followed his friend’s request. There was nothing left for him to do.

❂

Everyone arrived little by little, the trio being last, probably because they had to greet so many people backstage.

Haechan and Johnny purposefully avoided that after-stage interaction for many reasons. The three would be too tired to discuss future jobs, specially among their current director and that would make Johnny and Haechan just new faces amidst the crowd. Approach them friendly in a bar and offer their cards would be enough and perhaps they would try out for the parts of Haechan and Johnny’s new project. Haechan truly hoped one of them would.

Being the social bee he was, Johnny approached the group first, with a big bright smile that was met with sympathy. “Hey, guys! I’m Johnny Suh, this is Lee Haechan. We just watched you perform and it just blew us away, man,” he complimented, making full use of his charms.

A man who was standing by the table and called attention due to his long bright orange hair smiled showing his entire dental arch. “Wow, Johnny Suh... pretty sure I’ve heard this name somewhere!” he exclaimed. Johnny had directed a few good alternative movies that had created some buzz. People often forgot the writer of such movies, but Haechan didn’t mind _that_ much, especially when there were other things to worry about that night. The orange-haired man approached Johnny and offered him his hand. “I’m Nakamoto Yuta.”

Johnny shook it right away and turned to the other two main actors. The rest of the cast, seeing where attention laid, returned to their conversations.

“Bae Joohyun,” the small black-haired woman presented herself. She had a mysterious smile on her lips and Haechan could see she analyzed the two with suspicion.

Haechan tried not to look at the only person left to talk, even as he spoke his name so softly.

“Moon Taeil.”

The man looked even more gorgeous out of the stage, brown hair messy but with style and skin several tones darker.

“I’m Lee Haechan,” the screenwriter finally said, attracting attention to himself. “I write with Johnny.”

The three actors nodded and Haechan wished that his gut feeling that Taeil’s eyes hung seconds more than necessary on him to be true.

Thankfully Johnny started talking business and all attention focused on him. Having heard the same speech countless times, the screenwriter didn’t pay attention to what he said. They were looking for three new fresh actors to star on their sitcom, simple as that. Johnny made sure to enlighten the fact it wasn’t just any sitcom, but one filled with meta-writing and parodies that would probably make it big if they had the right actors to star on it. And that was where Joohyun, Yuta and Taeil came along. Their performance on the musical only showed how perfect they were for the part and they only needed to read a few lines so Haechan and Johnny would be sure.

“This is interesting...” commented Taeil when Johnny finished pitching.

“Jobs are always interesting,” Joohyun remarked with one raised eyebrow.

Yuta clapped his hands before pressing them on his chest. “Oh! I’m excited! I’ve never worked on TV before!”

Haechan nodded, counting the seconds for that interaction to end. “Yeah, give it some thought and read some lines... It won’t be a bother and we think you might be perfect for this show...” he failed his own vow and let his eyes fall on Taeil for a moment. Their gazes met midway, Taeil’s eyes shining even in that dark bar, and Haechan quickly lowered his head. “We are going then—“

Before he could turn around, a voice stopped him.

“So soon?” Taeil asked innocently while pouting and tilting his head. “Aren’t you staying for drinks? It will be fun and we can talk more about the musical.”

Not only was Taeil a pretty man, but he was also a talented man, one that had taken Donghyuck’s breath away with his performance only. Donghyuck never stood a chance and so he accepted his fate, sitting down with the actors for a few drinks.

Years later, he was back at that exact same bar. It still didn’t look its best, fairly empty, and dark lighting allowing only for a feet ahead to be seen with detail. Taeil and his actor friends were sitting on the same table as they always had sat, the one at the end of the bar.

Haechan walked slowly trying to stop nostalgia to hit him too hard. It became easier when he could see Taeil closer and his red hair popped off. That scarlet color was a reminder that he wasn’t his Taeil anymore. The man was laughing loudly along with his friends and nervously looked at the door. When his eyes caught Haechan’s presence, he jumped off his seat.

“Hey...” Haechan greeted him shyly, but Taeil jumped on his direction, hugging him. Taeil’s embrace was warm and Haechan missed touching his curves but didn’t move his arms.

“HYUCKIE!” he screamed after letting go of the hug. He grabbed Haechan by the hand and dragged him closer to the table. “Guys! Do you remember Hyuckie?” he asked his friends, who all nodded without paying much attention. Taeil’s eyes were stuck to Haechan, who he brought closer to himself. “Isn’t he so handsome today?”

Haechan smartly avoided looking at his eyes or lips and instead focused on more important matters.

“Taeil, you need to give me the hotel name,” he asked him with a lower voice.

“Why?” Taeil pouted and held Haechan’s hands tighter. “Are you leaving me again?”

Haechan didn’t miss the “again” and whatever it implied but decided to ignore it. “No, Taeil, I just wanna make sure I know what our hotel is if you feel sick,” he explained, sounding a little more patronizing than he would like, but it was hard to control himself when Taeil acted this childish.

“Fine then... But I’m not going home now!” Haechan nodded so Taeil would feel assured. The actor wrote it down in a message to Haechan and put his phone back to his pocket. “Come sit next to me,” Taeil requested, grabbing Haechan by the wrist and making them sit side by side.

The second they were comfortably set, Haechan felt shivers in his stomach and lower areas due to a hand running up and down his thigh. He had forgotten how horny Taeil got when drunk. His ex was slowly touching Haechan’s thigh, never getting to the crotch, but dangerously close only to go down to his knee again. Haechan thought of asking him to stop but Taeil’s breath on his nape made it harder for him to think.

He had missed this. He had missed Taeil so much.

“How was your play?” Taeil whispered on his ear, almost to the point of licking his earlobe.

Haechan tried snapping back to reality but it was harder when Taeil’s hand came so close to his crotch and his cock twitched inside his pants.

“Not as good as your night apparently...” he murmured back.

Taeil chuckled, bringing his body closer to Haechan’s. He had started to tighten his grip on his thigh. “What are you talking about? My night just started now that you’re here. My Hyuckie...” he called his name very sugary, intoxicating Haechan with his voice.

“You don’t really mean it. You’re drunk,” Haechan said louder, trying to pour some sense not only to Taeil but also to himself.

Taeil didn’t seem very affected by his words, placing one hand on his chest while the other kept trailing down his thigh. He would probably suck Haechan right there with people watching and he wouldn’t flinch. When Taeil got horny drunk, nothing stopped him. The thought made Haechan’s cock twitch again.

“Taeil! I thought you two had broken up!” One of his friends said with an awkward laugh.

“We did!” Haechan replied before Taeil had the chance, using the opportunity to break off the gaze they were sharing. “We just are close friends still,” he explained, completely ignoring the irony of his ex almost sitting on his lap and actively trying to get him turned on (and having some success at that).

“Don’t know how you manage to be friends with your ex without falling in unhealthy patterns,” the woman went on with a frown at the position they were in. Taeil paid them no mind and started blowing air on Haechan’s nape. The writer tried his best to keep still and not show he was shivering with every touch.

“If we are being fair, Taeil doesn’t seem that against it...” another person commented and Haechan grew aware of how they looked to people.

On top of that, he was reminded Taeil and himself were famous, not just as their individual persons but also as a former couple. The thought of any disgusting paparazzi or passerby taking a shot when Taeil was simply expressing his feelings disgusted Haechan. He turned to the red-haired, who had started trailing patterns on his chest.

“Taeil. Are you sure you wanna be here?” he asked, looking for his eyes.

Taeil pouted and rested his head on his crook of the neck. “Yeah, wanna be with you.”

“You can be with me in the hotel,” Haechan murmured to his ear.

Taeil raised his head so fast that their heads almost knocked. His eyes were brighter than before. “Really? Like, _really_ be with you?” he asked with hope while licking his lips.

Haechan’s eyes dropped to Taeil’s wet mouth. “We just can’t do it in public,” he whispered and that was enough for Taeil to say goodbye to his theater palls while Haechan placed his arm on his shoulder.

❂

Taeil had tried to get a kiss from Haechan while they waved for a taxi but Haechan carefully gave him his cheek instead. When they hopped inside the cab, Taeil was quick to melt over Donghyuck and keep teasing his thigh. Haechan let him but whenever he went too close to his crotch he gave Taeil a warning look. Taeil giggled and changed the direction of his hands. Haechan wanted to throw all his inhibitions away and kiss that giggle away from him, but chose to focus on the New York streets.

They arrived at the hotel safely and Haechan requested both their room’s keys, which were granted right away. At the elevator, Taeil threw himself at Haechan one more time, but Haechan reminded him of the cameras. The red haired chuckled on his ear and Haechan let his guard down, gripping his ex’s ass.

When they finally arrived at the bedroom, Taeil dragged him to the bed by his collar and laid down, trying to pull Haechan over him. He resisted by escaping Taeil’s touch to go to the minifridge.

“You need water,” he declared while picking up water bottles and secretly hoping the tab would fall on Doyoung, even if improbable.

“Don’t want water, wanna kiss you,” Taeil said, jumping from the bed and wrapping his hands around Haechan’s waist. His puckered lips approached Donghyuck and he was quick to put a water bottle on them before they could find his lips.

“You won’t kiss me, you will drink water,” he said while escaping from Taeil’s grasp.

“You said we would get together!” Taeil whined, stomping his feet.

Haechan, who had suddenly become furious at Taeil’s little act, latched out. “Well, guess what, I lied! Like you lied to me before, now just drink water.”

He threw the bottle at Taeil, but the red-haired threw it to the ground. Haechan expected him to scream even further but when he looked at Taeil all he saw was a lonely man.

“Fuck, Haechan, am I really that disgusting monster to you? You run from my touch, you never look at me...” his voice disappeared and his eyes started to shine brighter due to tears forming. He raised his head to look at Haechan accusatorially. “You said I was still your muse but you _lied_...”

“Don’t come to me talking about lies! I cannot believe I’m listening to this from a cheater!” Haechan yelled in anger, making Taeil let go of his sadness and join him in his fury.

“It’s always about fucking Jung Jaehyun! Never about us—“

“There is no us, Taeil!” Haechan screamed taking a step closer to his ex.

Taeil sat down on his bed, weakened, and fingers brushing through his own lips. “All I wanted was a kiss... I miss you so much...” he murmured, his bottom lip trembling. “I know you don’t miss the real me, you only like that barbie doll version you created in your mind—“

“Shut up,” Haechan interrupted while rolling his eyes. “Drink water.”

“No,” Taeil replied, turning his head away.

The silver-haired sighed, trying not to roll his eyes yet again. He picked up the water bottle from the ground and walked towards Taeil. “Don’t behave like a child. You’re going to drink water and shower and sleep. I won’t leave until you do it.”

Taeil didn’t turn to look at him, but still accepted the water bottle and uncapped it. He drank it all and the room was filled with the sound of his gulps. When he was done, he went straight to the bathroom. Haechan followed him but didn’t enter the shower, sitting instead on the toilet and scrolling through his phone. He was only there to assure Taeil wouldn’t fall or if he needed something, he could get him. Taeil made use of his presence by requesting him to bring a big loose shirt from his bag along with boxers. Apparently, he didn’t want to leave the shower only wrapped around a towel.

Haechan rolled his eyes at him suddenly acting prude after almost palming his crotch in a public bar but didn’t say a thing, fetching him the clothes and waiting for him in the bedroom.

Taeil entered the bedroom with his hair went and skin glistening and went to the minifridge, getting another bottle of water. “You ended up treating me like a child,” he complained when he was done drinking.

Haechan sighed, tired of getting in the same argument again and again. “You’re so lost in your narrative that I patronize you that you confuse genuine care with me treating you condescendingly,” he replied.

“Stop using big words. I’m still drunk,” Taeil groaned, tucking himself under the blankets. Haechan sat on the armchair with his legs crossed and turned off the lights. The room was silent for a few moments.

“You’re gonna watch me sleep from the chair like a creep?” Taeil’s voice cut through the dark.

“Yeah,” Haechan answered unaffected.

“No. Come here.”

Haechan heard the sound of the covers ruffling. He knew what he wanted and couldn’t leave his armchair.

“Taeil,” he spoke as a warning. To what, he wasn’t sure.

“I will sleep faster if you do it,” he argued. Haechan left his armchair and took off his shoes. He went under the covers and was instantly met with Taeil’s warm body.

Haechan froze for a second but let the red-haired mold himself to his body. He trailed harmless circles on Haechan’s chest and nuzzled on his belly. Haechan held the want of combing his fingers through Taeil’s hair and sing him a half-assed lullaby like he used to do to make his love fall fast asleep. It was better if he kept still.

It wasn’t fair. Haechan was the one with the most difficulty sleeping, but he found some joy in making his sleepyhead boyfriend sleep. Sometimes it made him peaceful enough to even accompany him in his meetings with Morpheus.

“Do you think you will ever forgive me?” he asked quietly against Haechan’s chest.

Haechan’s voice cracked. “I-I don’t know...”

“Do you _want_ to forgive me?” Taeil insisted, looking up even if they could see nothing in the darkness.

“I thought you were gonna try sleep...” Haechan looked away, his throat suddenly becoming itchy.

“I wanna know...” Taeil whined softly, his hands gripping Haechan’s waist.

“Honestly? No, I don’t want to forgive you. My grudge for you is the only thing that’s keeping me from kissing you right at this moment,” he spoke truthfully, turning his face so it was centimeters away from Taeil’s. “I need to hold onto it so I’ll never get hurt by you again.”

“What hurts you is this black cloud in your heart, Hyuckie. It makes you blind to the fact I never cheated on you...” Taeil mumbled sadly. Haechan didn’t argue back and they fell into silence again. “Cuddle me, Hyuckie,” Taeil requested, holding Haechan closer to him.

Without saying a word, Haechan let himself get comfier on the mattress and wrapped his arms around Taeil, who nuzzled on his chest happily.

“You will _so_ regret this in the morning...”

Taeil shrugged and when he spoke again, his words were slow due to sleep hitting him finally. “Maybe. But tonight I’m being warmed by your arms...”

❂

The two met again on the private car that would take them to the airport after the checkout.

“Did you sleep well?” Haechan inquired since it was the first time he was seeing Taeil that morning.

His ex had sunglasses on even on that cold cloudy morning and it was impossible to see if he had dark circles around his eyes. He shot Donghyuck an affected smile. “Perfectly,” he answered curtly.

Haechan laughed out loud as they entered the car. “Oh, so now you’ll ignore me,” he concluded feeling the joy of irony.

Taeil sighed in exasperation. “What do you expect me to do to a guy that rejected me, Haechan?”

By the way he pronounced his name, Haechan could tell he was annoyed.

“Don’t ask for things you already know the answer to...” he advised, perhaps committing the felony of patronizing that Taeil so often accused him of.

“Then don’t talk to me—“ Taeil started answering him harshly, but Haechan tried to appease him.

“C’moooon, Taeil. We made some progress over talking without killing each other. Must I be the one to convince you we can be civil?”

Taeil seemed to stop computing for a second. Haechan waving a white flag? How odd. Either way, he wasn’t suspicious enough not to take it and Haechan was glad to see Taeil’s posture relax.

“Fine. Whatever. I have no idea what we can talk about, but sure,” he shrugged and turned his eyes to New York through the car’s window.

“Baby steps. I’m pretty sure we can agree on how we both hate Doyoung, right?”

Taeil’s lip corners curled into a half-smile. The next minutes were spent sharing the nastiest stories there were about Kim Doyoung, including his despicable doings and the rumor his wife divorced him (a million dollar divorce deal, as the media spread around) because he was sleeping with his assistant.

Haechan was just telling how Johnny had once drawn an entire cartoon with the storyline of ways to kill Doyoung and had once tried convincing Haechan to add a Doyoung-like character to the show only for them to be killed off.

Taeil laughed so loudly he snorted. “Oh god, Yuta and Johnny really are connected because I think Doyoung is about to give Yuta a heart attack too.”

Haechan’s eyes widened in surprise. “Really? Why?”

“The leaked video thing. Doyoung wants to know who recorded it,” Taeil shared with a smile of someone who knows a secret.

Haechan arched his eyebrows. How much went by his cast and he had no idea of. “ _Oh._ I didn’t know that was an issue.”

Taeil sighed, looking a bit bummed by the matter. Smile gone. “Apparently it is. He has been cornering Yuta, Joohyun, and me constantly. Sometimes calling our agents to see if we will confess... Yuta is going crazy...”

Haechan nodded to Taeil’s words, but there was only one thing he truly cared about. “But wait. Who of you did it?”

Taeil’s eyes sparkled for a moment and he again didn’t seem to function very well. Haechan could see the motor in his head fuming.

“I did. I was the one who recorded it,” he confessed with a brave smile of having achieved something.

Oh, this only got better!

“ _Bullshit_ ,” Haechan replied instantly.

“It’s true—“

Taeil’s proud speech was cut off before he could even begin. “No, you’re not bold enough to risk everything for a videotape,” Haechan said, analyzing Taeil close by and seeing the courageous smile fade from his lips. “What _is_ like you is to lie to cover up something... or someone.”

Taeil bit his bottom lip. It was all the confirmation Haechan needed.

“Stop being ridiculous, Haechan,” Taeil spoke, and, again, the annoyance was clear from the intonation he used when saying Haechan’s name.

Haechan didn’t mind though. A smile spread through his lips and he victoriously pointed a finger at Taeil. “You are protecting someone!” he exclaimed, but happiness was ephemeral and he was lost in his thoughts again. “Now who this someone is... I have to find out...”

“Do not meddle in affairs that ain’t yours,” Taeil warned him.

Haechan wasn’t scared of a threatened animal and tried to take more information from Taeil. “Scared of who I will find at the end of this mystery?”

The car stopped. They had arrived at the airport.

Taeil opened the doorknob. “It was best for me to have continued ignoring you. Dumb of me to listen to Lee Haechan’s words when he only ever listens to himself,” he said, almost spitting on Haechan’s face as he left the car.

Donghyuck didn’t mind. For some reason, he was very intrigued by who would Taeil protect this fiercely and entered the aircraft with an annoying smile plastered on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [return to the next text au update by clicking here ](https://twitter.com/thegreatmoon94/status/1256026859269210113?s=21)


	5. deal of arms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jaehyun takes taeil to lunch

“And that’s a wrap! Thanks, everybody!” Johnny said through the speaker. Everyone started to sigh in relief and make their ways to lunch when the director grabbed the speaker again. “Before we go for a lunch break, you should know Mark has an announcement for you.”

A dark-haired boy left Johnny’s shadow and came to the spotlight. He avoided everyone’s eyes and preferred talking while looking at the floor. “H-hello. I’m Sir- I mean, Doyoung’s assistant, and I’m here to inform you he will be hosting a party to celebrate the completion of filming the first episode!” Everyone clapped excitedly at the news and that seemed to boost Mark’s confidence a little. “So, you are all invited to come, cast and crew alike.”

“So sweet of him,” Johnny commented loudly and no one there missed the sarcasm of his words.

No one but Mark, who nodded with a proud smile. “He is indeed very kind, sir.”

Johnny didn’t waste his time arguing with Doyoung’s boy toy and simply rushed to get to Haechan, who was scribbling some dialogue on his notebook.

“Let’s go get food in some nice restaurant,” he invited his friend, who grunted something unintelligible and continued writing.

Johnny rolled his eyes before hitting Haechan in the head. The writer dropped his pen to reach for the place that hurt. “Ouch! What was that for?”

“Let’s go get food in some nice restaurant,” Johnny repeated himself, not nearly as relaxed as before.

Haechan shrugged, getting up. “Sure, I’ll just go pick up my wallet and keep these safe,” he signaled at his notebook. That thing was more sacred for him than his own life. Before he went, Haechan stopped to ask Johnny one more thing. “Hey you know how Doyoung...”

His eyes darted and he lost himself midquestion with his mouth open. Johnny snapped to bring him back but Haechan wouldn’t look him back, focused on the two people that greeted each other.

Taeil looked small next to Jaehyun’s imposing height. He smiled brightly while the man put his jacket over his shoulders.

“Thanks for coming to pick me up,” the blonde said cheerfully.

Jaehyun smiled back, though in a much more laid back state compared to Taeil’s excitement. “Sure, we haven’t had lunch in a while.”

Haechan spoke with barely contained anger in his voice. “What is _he_ doing here?”

He didn’t wait for Johnny to say anything, already walking with long steps towards the two. Johnny had tried stopping him but deeming it impossible, followed his friend.

“You’re invited to leave, this is private property,” Haechan said loudly, eyes glued on Jaehyun.

He dressed his part as an executive of Disney, dark suit and purple tie. Jaehyun turned to the writer looking amused. “Hello to you, Haechan, it’s been some time.”

“I could spend a century not having to look at your morbid face, Jaehyun, now _leave_.”

“I will in a minute, I’m taking Taeil to lunch,” he answered completely unfazed and turned his head to Taeil. “Are you ready, darling?”

“Sure, just gonna grab my bag.”

“I’ll wait for you here, I’m sure Haechan won’t mind,” Jaehyun said with his smile’s corners curling further.

There was nothing for Haechan to do with regards to Jaehyun. He could punch him if he wanted Doyoung to chase him till he was dead. He could cuss at him, not that it would make much difference to that man. Nothing ever affected him, Taeil had found himself a proper boyfriend to get on Haechan’s nerves.

However, being done with Jaehyun didn’t mean Haechan was done completely and he followed the one he knew for a fact he could affect.

“ _Why_ is he here?” he asked Taeil while quickly finding the pace of his steps outside of the dark set.

“He’s taking me to lunch,” Taeil replied with a too-proud smile Haechan wanted to punch off his lips.

“Why are you doing this?” Haechan questioned as they finally got to Taeil’s trailer.

“I just wanna go get lunch.”

“Is Jaehyun your only source of food?”

“No, but from him, I want more than lunch,” Taeil said the minute he found his bag. Haechan stood in his way for the trailer’s exit door.

“Wanna make another deal with the devil?” the writer inquired, taking a step closer to where Taeil was. Taeil didn’t retreat, approaching Haechan instead.

“Perhaps, if I find it interesting enough for me,” he answered with shining eyes.

Haechan felt his knees weakening. His muse was going to sell himself again and he was to watch him go. As he had done before.

“Don’t _do_ this,” he asked, voice almost failing him.

“Excuse me?” Taeil murmured in confusion. He always looked so pretty when confused, it made it hard for Haechan to ever get angry with him when impatient.

“Don’t go with him,” he reworded himself.

He started to consider if lunch was indeed _lunch_. Maybe lunch was something more, lewder, dirtier, something it had to be done with Jaehyun. Sex wasn’t dirty, but when done with a deal attached, it tainted the action altogether.

Should Haechan care? Taeil had done it before when they were together and now that they didn’t have any strings, Taeil didn’t owe him anything. But to watch him leave on that man’s arms of all people...

“In return of what?” Taeil asked. It was always about a deal with him, always about getting the upper hand.

“I won’t make your life hell,” Haechan said, recalling Taeil’s first threat when he found out Haechan was getting back to the studio.

“Why don’t you want me to go with him?” Taeil took another step and now his breath tickled Haechan’s neck. Their chests were almost touching.

Haechan still looked for his eyes and found them. “Because I despise him and everything he stands for. Men like him think they can buy anything, even you.” His voice cracked on the last word and his eyes dropped to the floor for a second. When he looked up, he couldn’t help but let his eyes linger a little longer on Taeil’s parted lips. “You don’t have to prove him right.”

He waited for Taeil’s response anxiously. The blonde licked his lips and spoke slowly and dryly.

“In the end, all things lead to Jung Jaehyun and not to us...” he said and his hand raised to touch Haechan’s face. Haechan wanted to escape his touch, but couldn’t move. “I don’t have to prove him right but I want to. You can bring me hell. Have a good lunch.”

Taeil removed his hand and walked past Haechan. Before leaving the trailer, Haechan had to stabilize his breathing for a few seconds. When he left the vehicle, he had the unfortunate luck of watching Taeil and Jaehyun leave. Taeil still wore Jaehyun’s jacket and Jaehyun had him in his arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [return to the next text au update by clicking here ](https://twitter.com/thegreatmoon94/status/1258927438949736451?s=21)


	6. wine warm breaths against his skin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> there is a party. there is wine.

Johnny and Haechan had come together and taken some pictures for the two photographers Doyoung had tipped about the party. One of them shouted, asking Haechan how he felt about the episode that had been just filmed and the scriptwriter smiled, answering he felt great and so would the viewers.

The two entered the dark room in which the party occurred. It was semi-formal and so the men were wearing shirts and dress shoes while the women were wearing dresses or skirts, along with hills.

Joohyun stood out as the Angelina Jolie of 2001 Oscars, wearing a rosé pink suit with delicacy and power. Haechan’s eyes followed her, absolutely delighted until he spotted who she was talking to.

“See? Only thirty minutes more and you’ll be going home...” Johnny said in a whisper as he waved to people around the room politely.

Haechan ignored him. His eyes were glued to the person Joohyun was speaking to at that moment. “What is Jaehyun doing here?”

Johnny was surprised but positioned himself between Haechan’s path towards Jaehyun. “Doesn’t matter, you won’t confront him about it.”

Even with the tall mountain that was Johnny blocking his vision, Haechan tilted his head and finally saw who Jaehyun had in his arms. Taeil wore a yellow silk shirt, being probably the most vibrant person in the entire room palette-wise. He was calling for Haechan’s eyes. Jaehyun’s hand held him by the waist.

Before Haechan could say something, a soft pink mane appeared in front of him with half-moon shaped eyes almost covered by the pink bangs.

“Hyuckie!” Yerim shouted excitedly, hugging her friend tight.

Haechan remembered there were better things to worry about than Jung Jaehyun or Moon Taeil. He wasn’t to look at Taeil for the rest of the night if he had a say on it.

❂

Taeil knew Jaehyun liked having his hand on his waist and, most of the time, it wouldn’t bother Taeil that much, but they had never appeared like that in front of people from his workplace before. He knew people might misinterpret that as dating news, as others had before, and so the light touch near his hip began feeling like a jail to him.

Jaehyun had been nothing but kind, his warm voice calmed Taeil and he engaged in interesting conversation with the cast and crew. Everyone was absolutely enchanted by him. It didn’t hurt Taeil’s pride to show him around, he just hoped people knew that it didn’t mean anything more than they were two people who occasionally went out and fucked.

The actor was feeling dizzy and there was no good amount of wine to cure him of it. Taeil would know, he had almost drunk a bottle already. He touched Jaehyun’s hand to detach it from his waist and he did so on command.

“Darling, I’ll go to the bathroom for a second,” he whispered to Jaehyun, leaving him to converse with Doyoung alone.

Taeil walked into the empty bathroom to check his state. His make up was fine, dark circles barely noticeable at this point and now that he could breathe properly, he felt more rested. He took a sip from his wine glass. His eyes met someone else’s through the bathroom mirror and he turned around in shock.

Haechan took another step, cornering Taeil against the bathroom’s sink. He let go of his wine glass.

“Don’t go home with him,” he urged and Taeil didn’t know what was even being asked of him.

“Excuse me?” the blonde frowned trying not to give away the butterflies he was feeling in his stomach.

Haechan was the closest he had ever been to Taeil ever since New York and he looked especially dazzling that night, with a dark grey shirt that matched his silver hair color and a piercing on his eyebrow. Taeil felt like sitting on the sink and just opening his legs so Haechan would come closer.

“You heard me,” the scriptwriter replied with a serious expression upon his face.

“Why wouldn’t I go home with him?” Taeil inquired, the chills from Haechan’s sudden presence already settling in.

“Because you deserve better than him,” Haechan asserted. Taeil was doomed, his butterflies wouldn’t stop flying around.

He raised one eyebrow to show interest and came closer to Haechan. “Hm, do I? What do I deserve?”

“Someone who sees you for who you are and not just for status.”

Taeil snickered bitterly. “What if what I really am is ugly?”

“‘S ugly but it’s _you_ ,” he answered as-matter-of-factly. Taeil didn’t say anything more but he observed Haechan mumble so low that not even him could understand. Haechan sighed and went back to the main issue. “Just don’t go, Taeil, _please_.”

“Why does this affect you so much?” Taeil questioned, sincerely puzzled by what part of Hyuck’s heart did he still have. Was it his possessive side? Maybe his pride? God knows how he’s given up on affecting Hyuck’s romantic side of the heart a long time ago.

“Affects you too, you’re just a better actor than I am when you want to be,” he diverted the question and Taeil didn’t know what to answer to that statement. Before he could try thinking of something, the distance there was between their two bodies was suddenly filled by Haechan, who whispered in his ear, “I will offer you a deal.”

He then placed a hand on Taeil’s waist, the same place Jaehyun’s hand was minutes before. However, it wasn’t a faint touch and Donghyuck felt the plump skin, making Taeil lean closer to him, a hand playing on the writer’s nape.

“I’m listening,” he murmured back.

“Come home with me,” he suggested in a velvet-like tone, while he lifted Taeil to the top of the sink. As if it was their second nature, Taeil’s legs wrapped themselves around Haechan’s waist, bringing their bodies closer together.

“What do I gain from that?” Taeil licked his own lips.

Haechan chuckled. “Besides sleeping on my comfortable bed and having my presence, I can get you dinner with Ten.” Taeil’s eyes sparkled at the news. He had been wanting a dinner with Ten for some time now and Haechan was his fastest way to get it. When he had asked what he would get from coming home with Haechan, he hadn’t expected such a favorable offer. “This will be your excuse for you to not admit you’re just dying to sleep with me, babe,” Haechan whispered hoarsely in his ear before taking a bite of his earlobe.

“Fuck,” Taeil cursed, already feeling himself get excited under his pants. “Deal.”

He backed away from Haechan for a second, ready to seal a deal with a kiss, but they heard the door opening and suddenly Haechan was far away, pretending to wash his hands while Taeil hopped off the sink and checked his hair.

Yuta entered the bathroom and, before he could look at the two with suspicion, Haechan left. Taeil picked up his wine glass and drank it all, hoping his lips would become redder due to the drink.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [return to the next text au update by clicking here ](https://twitter.com/thegreatmoon94/status/1261839697216667648?s=21)


	7. body tastes sweet, but intimacy tastes sweeter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> someone takes taeil home

Haechan locked his phone and looked for Taeil in the room. He was in Jaehyun’s arms, talking with Yuta about something very interesting, he was sure. He couldn’t handle the anxiety of not knowing if he would take Taeil home anymore and walked towards where they were.

“Can I barge in?” he asked, looking at all of them with a friendly smile.

“Sure,” Jaehyun said with a half-smile.

“This is where I take my leave!” Yuta announced and he was off to perhaps drunk flirt with Johnny while Joohyun was off his back.

“I just wanted to say, Taeil looks especially gorgeous tonight,” Haechan complimented, eyeing Taeil from head to toe and letting his eyes linger on his ass a few more seconds than necessary. “Any man that takes him home is undeserving”

Taeil blushed but kept a poker face. “You indulge me—“

Haechan interrupted him while shaking his head. “I do not, I speak the complete truth,” he assured, eyes locked with his before he turned his head to the other participant of that conversation. “Jaehyun knows I’m being true.”

“That I know. To what end, that’s a mystery,” he spoke mysteriously. Fucking Jaehyun with his uncompromising speeches, tall stature, and relaxed posture.

“I just like to enjoy pretty things,” Haechan commented with a sly smile.

“Sad that you can only look,” Jaehyun retorted and his hand around Taeil’s waist brought the actor closer to him.

“I’ve tasted too and it’s sweet,” Haechan said, licking his bottom lip. “Hope my saliva doesn’t make it sour for you.”

“Haechan,” Taeil spoke with a warning on his tone.

“I’m sorry if I overstepped, my tongue runs too fast,” he said with a chuckle and his eyes turned back to his ex. “Taeil knows that better than anyone, right babe?” Haechan asked with a wink. Before Taeil could gasp, the scriptwriter bid his goodbye. “Gonna go now, excuse me.”

He got to Johnny, who was complaining about Yuta’s odd behavior to Yerim and felt his phone vibrate a few minutes later. There were two new messages.

 **moonfitz** : what a fucking stunt

 **moonfitz** : meet you at your apartment

  
❂

The doorman knew Taeil already and he was discreet. Taeil got into the elevator and came directly inside Haechan’s apartment. He looked around and found Haechan sitting on the sofa.

“Hey,” Taeil greeted, going to where he was. “Didn’t change much,” he pointed out as he sat on Haechan’s lap with his legs spread.

“Am not an avid decorator,” Haechan replied while gulping. He placed his hands on Taeil’s hips and the blonde pressed his palms on Haechan’s chest

“Hm,” Taeil hummed, uninterested about anything that wasn’t Haechan’s lips at that moment. His eyes were focused on it, while he licked his own bottom lip. “Wanna kiss you,” he mumbled, coming closer.

Haechan breathed in loudly and his grip on Taeil’s hips became tighter. Taeil leaned on Haechan, touching chest to chest. Their breaths were blending. Taeil bit his bottom lip and made the move.

Unfortunately, Haechan dodged and used the grip he had on Taeil’s hips to take him off his lap. The actor was dumbfounded, while Haechan went to his minifridge to get bottles of water. He offered one to Taeil.

“W-what?” he asked, still confused.

“Water,” Haechan explained simply. “The towels are already in the bathroom, you know where it is,” he continued, opening a bottle and giving it to Taeil.

He blinked, taking in what was happening. “We-we aren’t having sex?”

Haechan tilted his head and poked his own cheek. “Hmmm, that wasn’t the deal.”

“Fuck you, Haechan!” Taeil shouted, getting up from the sofa.

“You get to sleep in my bed, it’s warm,” Haechan argued, still calm.

“Fuck, I’m out of here,” Taeil declared and started walking towards the door, only seeing red.

He felt a warm hand holding his wrist delicately. “If you go, you lose your lunch with Ten...”

They stood still for a moment and Taeil took his wrist away from his hold. He didn’t make any move towards the door.

“Fuck, why do you hate me so much?!” he shouted angrily.

Donghyuck finally lost his patience. “Have you ever stopped to think that I care for you because I truly like you?!”

“You don’t like me for real! You like this idea of me,” Taeil said, matching his loud voice.

“You always say that, but when have I ever showed that?”

Taeil stopped for a second, analyzing if Haechan deserved an answer. “You looked so disappointed whenever it seemed like I had fucked up or done something wrong. As if I was an untouched being in your mind,” he said in a quiet voice.

“That’s not true, not true at all,” Haechan shook his head and took a step to approach Taeil. “Look, I’m sorry that sometimes I mixed character with reality and forgot to separate them. But when I fell for you, I feel for _you_. The good, the bad and the ugly,” he said, with a half-smile on his lips. “Fuck, didn’t I love it how nasty you were throwing glares at Renjun or just being petty whenever someone that wasn’t me overly criticized you,” he chuckled with the memory and Taeil let himself relax too. “I saw that and I loved you even more for it,” Haechan concluded sweetly.

A silence settled between the two, giving an almost intimate atmosphere to their conversation and Taeil avoided Haechan’s gaze.

“Whatever...” he mumbled shyly, hoping to make the issue end.

“You _always_ do this!” Haechan exclaimed in outrage.

Taeil involuntarily raised his head. “What?!”

“Treat as if big things aren’t a big deal! Taeil, I just gave you an explanation of why I fell in love with who you are and you just shrug it off like it’s nothing! Like, fuck! Maybe it isn’t a big deal to you!” Haechan ranted out, gesticulating angrily.

Taeil put his hands on his hips. “Well, what do you expect me to say?!”

“Anything that isn’t fucking ‘whatever’!” Haechan said as if it was obvious and with a sarcastic smile in his lips that soon faded. “You always downplay stuff when you’re the one at fault! Just own up your mistakes.”

“Gosh!” Taeil said exasperatedly. “Fine...”

“Admit your mistakes,” Haechan insisted, raising Taeil’s chin with his hand so their eyes would meet.

“I’ll try...” Taeil promised and his gaze dropped to Haechan’s lips. “You still not gonna sleep with me?”

“Gonna take care of you,” Haechan corrected.

“Stop treating me like a baby,” Taeil complained, shaking his head.

Haechan pouted and came closer to Taeil, touching his waist. “Don’t want me to take care of you?”

Taeil looked away and shrugged.

“Say it,” Haechan pressed on him.

“Want it...” Taeil mumbled, giving in to Haechan’s embrace.

“Okay, baby,” Haechan said with good humor. He hugged Taeil before he could complain about the pet name.

  
❂

After the two had showered (separately), eaten, and drunk water, Taeil was wearing one of Haechan’s big shirts and his own boxers. He smelled the shirt he was wearing and it was intoxicating. Haechan was all over the house, but the shirt specifically.

He got himself under the covers, it was already late. Haechan waved goodbye and was about to turn off the lights. Taeil was grateful for that, Haechan slept with nothing on normally, but that night he had chosen to keep his boxers. It was hard for Taeil not to look at his chest area. He missed feeling Haechan’s tummy, kissing his chest, tracing his moles and laying next to his heart.

Haechan turned off the lights and opened the door to leave his bedroom, but Taeil spoke up before he could go.

“The least you could do is sleep in the same bed as me!”

Haechan snickered. “Ah, he is bossy...”

Taeil could see a darker shadow moving to the bed and Haechan was under covers with him. Taeil came closer to him and laid his head on his chest. Haechan didn’t complain, he started gently caressing his blonde locks with adjusting to Taeil’s body.

“You’re good, you know?” Taeil said suddenly while looking up. “I know why you didn’t have sex with me...”

“Because I didn’t wanna.”

“Yeah, lie to yourself,” he said, earning chuckles from Haechan. “You don’t want it to be made over a deal, don’t wanna buy me.”

“No—“

Haechan was ready to refute but Taeil laid his head on his chest again, playing with the chest hair.

“Goodnight, Duckie,” he said sweetly.

In a few minutes, he had started snoring softly, while Haechan remained awake.

“Goodnight, Illie,” he said while engulfing Taeil in his arms and falling deep asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [return to the next text au update by clicking here ](https://twitter.com/thegreatmoon94/status/1263286099985813504?s=21)


	8. cupid’s bow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> haechan helps taeil on set

“This is not going great,” Taeil whined as he tried to lift his bow one more time. Johnny paused filming yet again to which the cameraman sighed.

“What? It’s going great!” Johnny yelled from his director’s chair.

“I... I don’t know...” Taeil stammered with a pout. Everyone on set was looking at him and, lucky for him, he only had to deal with Yuta in that scene or else the rest of the cast might have also been annoyed.

“Want me to call Jungwoo so he can check on your make-up?” Johnny suggested, not quite sure what was making Taeil second guess his performance.

“I just don’t know if I’m holding the bow how Haechanie had pictured it!” Taeil said, sighing in the end. Johnny pressed his fingers to his temples. So this was all Haechan’s fault in the end. He should have known.

It was an adventure-like episode, based on Lord of the Rings, that Haechan had envisioned some weeks before. Max was Aragorn, Irene was Gandalf, and Jude was set to be Legolas. However, Taeil didn’t seem very comfortable with his equipment.

“Let me show you then,” Haechan suggested, from the back of the studio. He left his laptop and notebook on his chair before walking towards the lights in the set. Taeil seemed more satisfied with the help already, beaming in joy. “Here,” Haechan approached Taeil and helped him hold the bow, adjusting his fingers around it. Taeil’s hands were warm and so was the rest of his body.

“Like this?” Taeil asked, turning his head to look at Haechan. They were centimeters apart.

“Yes,” Haechan said, lowering his hands to Taeil’s waist. “Straighten your arms, focus on your hips,” Taeil followed his instructions and Haechan let his touch linger a little more on Taeil’s waist before placing his hands above Taeil’s. “Release,” Haechan whispered to Taeil’s ear and he released the imaginary arrow easily.

He turned to look at Taeil again, having a difficulty breathing with his chest pressed to Taeil’s back.

“That’s how you do it, Illie,” he said with a nod and moved to take off his hand but the actor kept him there for a second longer.

“Thanks, Haechanie,” Taeil said sweetly before he let Haechan go.

When Haechan walked back to his seat, he finally noticed a silence in the set and all eyes set on him. Haechan stared back and everyone went back to chit-chatting and pretending they hadn’t seen what just had happened. Taeil seemed unbothered by it and happily showed off his bow.

❂

They wrapped up the episode that day and Haechan was glad Taeil didn’t have many scenes with that bow. He was ready to forget that little moment when Johnny barged in their shared room on the set with a big smile.

“That was some good entertainment, huh.”

“See what I’m talking about?! He’s shameless!” Haechan said in desperation.

Johnny only laughed at him. “You’re so fucked—“

A knock on the door kept him from talking any longer. He yelled for the person to come in and a recently showered Taeil opened the door. Haechan gritted his teeth instantly but also felt shivers just at the sight of Taeil.

“Excuse me, Johnny, Haechanie,” Taeil said while entering the room slowly with a coy smile.

“Hi, Taeil! We were just talking about you!” Johnny informed him with an even bigger grin than before. Haechan wanted him dead.

“Good things, I hope,” Taeil hopped on the table Haechan was sitting. Of course, that was the only place he could sit among the empty couch and armchairs, Haechan was just unlucky.

“Oh, the best things. Haechan only has compliments,” Johnny fueled on, ignoring Haechan mouthing that he’d kill him while signaling towards his neck. It seemed that fucking Haechan up was Johnny’s only source of fun.

“Haechan’s compliments are rare, even when I was his muse, so I do not believe you!” Taeil refuted hum while shaking his head and poking out his tongue playfully.

“Why not?” Haechan spoke for the first time, slightly outraged.

“Can you compliment me now?” Taeil turned to him with big bambi eyes, placing a hand on Haechan’s knee very naturally.

Haechan’s breath hitched but he didn’t let it show and instead smiled cockily. “No, because I don’t want to.”

“But I’m asking you nicely, Haechanie,” Taeil batted his eyelashes dramatically.

“I won’t be fooled by your charms,” Haechan replied and also came closer to Taeil as if to prove a point and brush a finger through his hair. It was Taeil’s weakness, he always shivered when Haechan combed his fingers through his hair and today was no different. He quickly came back to normal.

“So I am charming,” he stated victoriously and approached him, even more, to whisper his next question, “What else?”

“Gotta work harder for me to fall for your tricks,” Haechan snickered, but soon lost his smile as he felt Taeil’s hand rising from his knee to his thigh. He felt himself getting hotter.

“Tell me what I have to do and I’ll do it,” Taeil said, in an almost whine that went straight to Haechan’s dick. _Fuck_ , he didn’t know if he wanted Taeil to go away or for him to raise his hand to find his crotch.

What he knew was, Taeil wouldn’t move away so easily, so his only weapon was to fluster him back. Haechan breathed some cold air near Taeil’s neck and he blushed. Haechan smiled and was about to mention how red his cheeks were when the noise of books falling to the ground interrupted them. He took his eyes off of Taeil to see Johnny very clumsily placing the books on a pile.

“I’ll — I’ll just see myself out,” he mumbled, leaving the room immediately.

Haechan was so out of it, he couldn’t even compute what Johnny was saying in time to ask him to stay. Being alone in a room with Taeil definitely wasn’t what he needed at that moment.

Haechan coughed, distancing himself from Taeil and losing his smile. “I want nothing from you, Taeil, now what are you doing here?”

Taeil seemed unaffected by the mood change and replied cheerfully, “Came to pay a visit to my two favorite people! Also, to give you a kiss for having helped me earlier,” he winked and shot him a kiss.

“Ah Taeil-ah, aren’t you losing a little bit of your dear pride?” Haechan scoffed, hoping to embarrass Taeil.

“Not really,” he said with a thoughtful expression. “If I get what I want, it’ll have been worth it.”

“Some things are impossible to get back,” Haechan reasoned.

“Maybe... But I’ll try my best for it,” Taeil said with no smile but earnest sincerity.

Haechan was starting to lose his patience and spoke with annoyance, “If you _were_ trying your best you wouldn’t—“ he stopped himself midway and shook his head. “Forget it.”

Taeil, who still had his hand softly caressing Haechan’s thigh, removed it to hold Haechan’s hand and looked for his eyes. “No, no. Tell me, Haechanie, what do you want?”

Haechan looked down, to their hands so gently intertwined, Taeil’s soft skin against his. “If I ask for it, it’ll sound like I’m ready to forgive you. Which I’m not,” he said bitterly.

“It’s okay, it’s okay. I’ll give you time, I can wait,” Taeil assured him, with a kind smile on his lips and caressing Haechan’s hand with his thumb. He licked his own lips. “Now your kiss?” Haechan looked at him wide-eyed, making Taeil scoff, “Ah Haechanie, it’s on the cheek, it won’t hurt you!”

Haechan shrugged and so Taeil dropped his hand, to press his palms against his chest as he planted a very wet kiss on Haechan’s cheek. It even popped.

Before he removed his hand from Haechan’s chest and hopped off the table, Taeil had one last thing to whisper to Haechan’s ear.

“I just wanna reiterate that what I said is true. I’ll do anything to get what I want.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [return to the next text au update by clicking here ](https://twitter.com/thegreatmoon94/status/1269064607643185152?s=21)


	9. charmanté or (pretty lips, ugly feelings)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a new actor joins the cast

“Wow,” Joohyun said, turning her eyes from Yuta, whom she was having a conversation with, and giving Taeil a once over. Her smile reached her eyes and she winked teasingly.

Taeil blushed but twirled around. He wasn’t even wearing very pretty clothes. He had his simple white shirt that was three times his side and tight black pants that made his ass look great. His entire power, however, was in the eyes.

Jungwoo had come earlier and they chatted the morning away while he had put Taeil over all sorts of hair and skin treatment with soft r&b playing in the background. Jungwoo had soft hands against his skin and his voice was high-toned for a man but comfortable to hear. It had been so refreshing and truly Taeil felt like he was born again.

When Jungwoo offered him a haircut and also to do his make-up for the day, he almost said no, the make-up artist had done too much already. Jungwoo wouldn’t hear it and stuck Taeil onto the chair. They talked more through the morning as Jungwoo gave Taeil the beauty treatment he so needed.

When he was done, Taeil looked at himself in the mirror. Jungwoo hadn’t overdone, he got on the right point, highlighting Taeil’s eyes with dark pink shadow and eyeliner. He also tinted his lips red saying Taeil had too pretty lips not to show them off.

“Moontie, you are a damn fine piece of meat if you allow me to say!” Yuta exclaimed, pushing Joohyun to the side. “Who did that?!”

“Jungwoo, but don’t spread around. Your boyfriend has magical hands, his make up is so delicate and beautiful,” Taeil said while walking closer to his friends. They were in the room where the table reads took place, more people coming in every second, some shooting glances at Taeil, noticing his big red lips and smoky eyes.

Yuta muttered something about knowing very well about Jungwoo’s magical hands which earned him a scandalized expression from Taeil and a laugh from Joohyun. He dropped the subject by complimenting Taeil further. “You look drop-dead gorgeous, I think nations would go into war for your hand in marriage! Taeil of Troy!”

Taeil knew he was trying to compensate for their latest fallout but didn’t mind. Instead, he laid his head on Yuta’s shoulder for a second, making him coo.

“Wanna make Hae regret not being with you, huh” Joohyun concluded with an evil smirk.

Taeil scrunched his nose before quickly looking at the door. Haechan hadn’t arrived yet. “Not really. I have dinner after with Ten—“

“Ten?! The Ten?” Yuta exclaimed, mouth wide open.

“Yes!” Taeil nodded while closing his eyes. He hadn’t taken in that he would meet _the_ Ten, too focused on warming Haechan up to him — or fighting with said-person — to worry about that. Yet, after that incredible beauty morning with Jungwoo, he felt ready to try to strike a new role in whatever project Ten would have in the future.

“How?” Joohyun asked, looking impressed.

“Haechan and I made a deal. The only thing was I forgot he was the devil so he is tagging along,” Taeil informed her, biting his lips nervously. Joohyun huffed to voice her disapproval.

“This will be juicy...” Yuta licked his lips for effect. Taeil chuckled. Yuta brightened the grimmest of the futures. He quickly placed his head on his shoulder again.

“Nervous for the episode today? Gonna get a new romantic interest... Yuta might get jealous...” Joohyun pushed Yuta while he stuck out his tongue.

“Taeil and I indeed form a great on-screen couple. You might miss my kisses!” he whined before pouting.

“I miss your kisses since last season, Nayu!” Taeil replied and then kissed Yuta’s cheek. Joohyun repeated her question. Taeil had to think it for a second before answering. He wasn’t fidgeting, his heart didn’t beat faster and he wasn’t sweating. “Oh. I’m... weirdly not nervous,” he concluded for Joohyun’s joy. “I just hope they matched me with someone talented.”

Just as he said that Haechan and Johnny entered the room. Johnny greeted everyone with a wave and a smile. Haechan, who Taeil had expected to ignore him like he always did, was smiling relaxedly. It unnerved Taeil.

He walked past the group of actors and stopped, grin still on his lips.

“Taeil,” he said coldly and yet still sounding amused.

“Haechan,” Taeil greeted back, dryer and trying not to fidget. Nervousness was starting to struck him.

Haechan hi-fived Yuta and didn’t make any eye-contact with Joohyun, who looked at him in pure disgust. He continued walking until the end of the tables, where Johnny and he usually sat.

“So, everyone,” Johnny spoke loudly, calling everyone’s attention towards them. “Hae made this episode as a parody for romantic comedies! I hope everyone likes it, I sure had lots of fun reading it,” he said, with a sweet smile while patting his partner on the head. “So, without further ado, welcome our new series’ guest actor, Huang Renjun.”

Taeil tried to remain still as Renjun walked in onset. Roughly as short as Taeil, with light brown hair and oval-shaped head, Renjun didn’t look like a menace to many people. Yet Taeil’s heart throbbed on his chest as Haechan kissed Renjun’s cheek and placed his hand on the actor’s waist.

He couldn’t hear the claps, he only clapped along and when everyone stopped, he continued for a few moments before Joohyun pulled his arm, bringing him back to reality. She looked concerned but Taeil couldn’t show her any reaction.

“Good afternoon, everyone,” Renjun said charmingly with his slightly nasal voice. “Did you miss me?”

“Renjun, as you well know, is a crafted actor who made some time for us and our little show. He will be playing Kit, Jude’s new love interest,” Johnny continued the introduction.

“I hope we have a fantastic time together! I’ve worked with Johnny and Haechan before, and I know most people around here, Yuta, Joohyun, Taeil... This will make it easier for me to get in the show’s flow!” he said while clasping his heads together and bouncing on his feet.

“Good! We are excited to have you here!” Johnny answered with his booming voice. “Now shall we begin?” he asked, a hint of anxiety in his voice. He probably wanted it to be over soon.

“Where should I sit?” Renjun asked, fingers tapping his lips.

Haechan, who hadn’t spoken so far, pointed to Taeil. “Since your scenes will be mostly with Taeil, sit next to him. Yuta can move one seat,” he said with a wink to Taeil, who felt himself growing smaller.

He couldn’t help but notice Haechan’s hand on Renjun’s back as he leaned over to answer his question and how Renjun smiled at him. They matched so well, everyone would look and say how they were the perfect couple. Renjun with his perfect petit figure, small waist, delicate traits while Taeil... he could put how many kilos of make up he wanted over his face, it’d never hide his double chin or make him prettier.

Renjun even shot Haechan a kiss.

“Thanks, Hyuckie,” he said, before skipping next to where Taeil was. Taeil sat down on his chair, trying to keep breathing.

  
❂

The reading started and Taeil slowly adjusted himself. He completely blocked Haechan and Renjun from his sight, almost turned only to Joohyun’s side. Taeil sometimes played with his big shirt’s hem or interested himself in making doodles on the script whenever there was a scene he wasn’t in so his eyes wouldn’t dart to Renjun nor Haechan.

It was harder when he had to read scenes that had Renjun in it. He still didn’t look at the actor, facing the room instead, and had his breath held until the completion of the scene. Renjun was indeed charming and he put some flavor into Kit, a character that flirted bluntly with Jude, no matter how much Jude rolled his eyes ar him. Everyone laughed at Renjun’s delivery, he had great comedic timing, and that somehow made Taeil feel smaller.

Thankfully it was a comedy show and not an HBO drama so the table read only took over around two hours.

When it was done, some questions were asked, comments about the episode made. Renjun talked a lot. He made everyone laugh with his charms, asked tons of questions about the filming process and about intonation for certain scenes. Haechan, who usually hated answering anything, made sure he gave Renjun complete replies, something he had rarely indulged Taeil with, even when they were dating. Taeil’s stomach shrunk as the two teased each other in front of everyone. He felt utterly humiliated, but kept a poker face, humming along and laughing when he was supposed to laugh.

Sometimes he felt Haechan’s eyes on him, observing and waiting to see him crack. He couldn’t stare them back but didn’t give him the pleasure to see him fall, completely expressionless. Funny how in those table reads he had done everything to attract Haechan’s eyes to him and now that he had them, he just wanted him to go away.

Finally, it was done and everyone started leaving the room. Taeil was eager fo follow but Renjun blocked his path.

“Won’t you talk to me, Taeil?” he asked with genuine curiosity.

Taeil bit his bottom lip, heart on his throat. He didn’t want to run away from confrontation so he tried merely dismissing it. “What’s there to talk about, Renjun?”

Renjun kept speaking softly. “Ask me how I am, inquire about my current jobs, maybe comment on the irony of me coming back?”

“Why did you come?” Taeil asked, looking around the room. Everyone had already left the room and he could voice his dissatisfaction more openly of he wanted to.

“Haechan asked me to.” Renjun’s answer was straight to the point and yet it didn’t add any new information for Taeil.

“You didn’t have to say yes,” he replied the same second.

“But I wanted to. I’ve always wanted to work with you, you know that” Renjun said, almost pleadingly and with a hint of upset on his tone.

Taeil was taken aback by that justification. Sure, after Taeil had dated Haechan for some time, Renjun came to him, waving a white flag, a charming grin on his lips. Taeil, who was a big fan of the actor before, was more than happy about that, starstruck by his charisma, and they naturally hit it off. The friendship never unnerved Haechan, he liked them together, always asking Taeil about Renjun and saying they were his “favorite people in the world.” Renjun talked about wanting to work with Taeil someday and Taeil was more than thrilled about that idea. Things had taken a weird turn, however.

“The circumstances aren’t the best—“

“I know,” Renjun interrupted, taking a step closer to Taeil. “But I’ll make them the best. Haechan and I aren’t together, we haven’t slept together in months. There’s no need for you to be jealous,” he assured him with a kind smile.

“I’m not jealous,” Taeil gritted through his teeth, the loudest he had spoken so far in that conversation.

Renjun dropped his grin and appeared to become skeptic. “Right, I forgot you lied about your feelings four out of five times.”

Taeil had the patience of a saint. Not only did that man accept the job completely ignoring Taeil’s feelings on the matter, but he also accused him of being a liar. Renjun was lucky he wasn’t a person who lashed out when angry. Instead of that, Taeil retorted, “I don’t lie—“

“Took you long enough to tell me you liked Haechan,” Renjun cut him off yet _again_.

“Oh. Yeah. I should definitely tell the ex-boyfriend of my crush that I like their ex,” Taeil said with contained sarcasm that somehow softened Renjun’s frown.

“I only wanted to know,” he said apologetically. “But you are right... I definitely wasn’t in my best state and we weren’t close back then but we became friends later on, hm?” he asked for reassurance and he did it with such innocence that Taeil instantly nodded. They had been friends not even too long ago. “I know that as of now you only see this as Haechan getting back at you, but I hope we can work together. I admire your work, Taeil and I think we will look great on-screen,” he smiled confidently at the end of the sentence and Taeil felt his cheeks warming at the praise.

“Maybe we will be so good we will cause ship wars in the fandom,” he suggested quietly.

Renjun’s eyes brightened at Taeil suddenly lowering his guns. “Yeah! Judit versus Jax, that will be fun to see,” he snickered before his tone became sweet again. “I just really wanna work with you,” he spoke with truthfulness.

Taeil knew he was telling the truth. Renjun was never one to play many games around. However, only because he meant it, it didn’t mean it would go how he wanted. Taeil had had his fair share of pretty boy friends who would cross their hearts saying they’d never flirt with Taeil’s crush, but Taeil always found them sucking on each other’s throats. Renjun might not mean to be with Haechan now, but when feelings came, they couldn’t be stopped.

And even if no feelings ever came... Taeil felt his heart being crushed by the smallest interaction between the two and Haechan would probably milk that cow dry, tormenting Taeil’s life on set. Taeil felt a headache coming.

“We’ll see how that goes...” he answered neutral and walked towards the door.

“Hey!” Renjun yelled just as Taeil was about to leave. “You look really beautiful today,” he complimented and again Taeil felt his cheeks warm.

Renjun was so charming, he could wrap anyone around his fingers.

❂

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [return to the next text au update by clicking here ](https://twitter.com/thegreatmoon94/status/1273003224019148800?s=21)


	10. two icy gim tonics for the exes, please

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they have dinner with ten

“So, is he coming?” Ten repeated the question while taking a sip from his drink. He had a raised eyebrow and amused smirk on his face, looking eager to know why Haechan had been texting Taeil so much.

Haechan sighed as he locked his phone. “I don’t know, he hasn’t read any of my messages.”

Ten raised his eyebrow even higher, smirk dropping from his lips. “Do I wanna know?”

Haechan took a deep breath and avoided Ten’s gaze. “I may have cast Renjun as a guest actor.”

“Some people just like to see the world burn!” Ten exclaimed loudly and, even though the place was quite busy and loud, many heads turned to their table. Ten didn’t seem to mind the attention. “And you are still surprised I wouldn’t even meet Taeil. I was afraid of awakening your fury,” he pointed an accusatory finger at Haechan.

“Ten, a role in your movies was all Taeil needed. Now he’s off selling himself, doing Marvel and sleeping with Mickey Mouse,” Haechan whined and unlocked his phone for the fifth time that night.

“Well, maybe he can do both now,” Ten argued, but Haechan didn’t seem to listen. Ten’s eyes suddenly lit up. “Oh there comes Minnie,” he mocked just as Haechan typed a quick text and locked his phone.

“Shut up,” he muttered.

Taeil was dressed in the same clothes as before. That big-ass shirt that someday had belonged to Haechan before Taeil had somehow managed to steal it from him and tight black jeans that would probably show his ass really well if it wasn’t for the shirt covering it. His thighs were good enough for the time being.

The place’s dark fluorescent purple lights made him stand out with his yellow hair and white shirt. Wherever Taeil went, light followed.

“I’m sorry for arriving late, traffic was terrible—“ he excused himself, sitting between Haechan and Ten.

“It’s okay, Taeil, no need to apologize. Haechan and I were just gossiping about you,” Ten said, with a cherish-cat smile. Haechan wondered with bitterness if all his friends would rat him out to Taeil the second they saw him.

“Haechan always seems to be talking about me moments before I enter a room,” Taeil shot back, causing Ten to laugh loudly.

A good first impression. That meeting was starting well.

“Now that’s not fair...” Haechan protested, looking for Taeil’s eyes. However, Taeil kept his face turned at Ten and the issue was dropped.

“So, have you ordered yet?” Taeil inquired, using his intertwined hands as support for his chin.

“Yeah, since we haven’t seen each other in a long time I hope you’ll excuse us for getting alcoholic drinks,” Ten raised a glass of what appeared to be a very pretty Cosmopolitan. “Do you want some of what we are drinking?”

“No, today I’ll only have a coke. Cannot make a fool out of myself while talking about my career,” Taeil chuckled nervously at the end.

“But it might be fun to drink with us! Isn’t that right, Haechan?”

“Loosen yourself up, Taeil,” Haechan encouraged him. It was as good as talking to a wall.

“I’ll gladly drink with you, Ten, once I get this part,” Taeil winked cheekily.

Ten, who seemed to realize the tension that had fallen over the table, exchanged gazes with Haechan. The silver-haired didn’t show a single change in expression, casually sipping from his own Gin Tonic. Ten grinned at Taeil.

“Hm... threatening me already. How intriguing,” he teased before calling the waiter to order a new round of drinks along with a coke.

  
❂

Haechan found it amusing how Taeil tried not laughing at his jokes, how he blatantly overused Ten’s name, and how he tried not even looking at Haechan. In fact, the screenwriter had even become worried that his ex would develop torticollis if he had his neck turned only to one side for so long.

Haechan didn’t even try speaking anymore. Sipping on his drink, having fun listening to the two talk but not daring touch his phone. It felt as if he’d lose if he touched his phone, an open declaration that he was bored, and he didn’t like losing, especially to Taeil.

After he was done with his second Gin Tonic, he decided to go to the bathroom, making sure to say Ten and Taeil’s name out loud before excusing himself.

“That’s not nice, Mr. Moon, ignoring my friend like that,” Ten scolded Taeil playfully the second Haechan left the table.

“I have my own reasons,” Taeil retorted harshly, expression turning grim.

“I know. He has his reasons too,” Ten said softly.

“He doesn’t seem to mind I’m ignoring him,” Taeil commented and Ten had to hold his urge to chuckle. It was so obvious how bitter he was that Haechan wasn’t stomping his feet in anger like a small boy upset his crush wasn’t mad at him for stealing her doll.

“Oh yeah, trust whatever emotion Haechan is displaying in public, that is logical,” he said sarcastically. Ten knew how much Haechan was a good actor and, most of all, how well he lied to himself. Haechan probably didn’t know how bothered he was, but Ten observed his winces and roll of eyes when Taeil had eyes only for the director. Those actions were spur of the moment, completely involuntary and too quick for him to stop himself: they showed what really went inside his head.

Ten leaned closer to Taeil. “Do you wanna make him mad?”

“I want him to pay for what he did,” he answered, clenching his jaw.

“Make him pay by working harder,” Ten suggested truthfully. “Listen, I have this perfect part for you in my upcoming movie. I’ll make it fit so you won’t even have scheduling conflicts with ‘Studio 127’. Accept the role.”

“But you want me to go back to talking to him,” Taeil concluded, sharp eyes staring straight into Ten’s eyes. He was as smart as Ten had thought he was.

“At least for tonight,” he said. Taeil didn’t give him an answer and so Ten laid his back on his chair relaxedly. “You know, he has tried to book us together before but I don’t fuck with muses. He was really insistent though.”

“He didn’t tell me,” Taeil said quietly. He had started fidgeting and Ten noticed him biting his bottom lip for a millisecond.

“Oh yeah, he tried doing all sorts of stupid bets so he’d win and I’d give you an audition. But I don’t fuck with muses,” Ten declared, a cocky grin on his lips.

“I’m not his muse anymore, makes things easier,” Taeil said, smiling back.

“Oh no. You’re still very much his muse,” Ten corrected him and clicked his tongue. “I just lost a bet.”

  
❂

Haechan arrived and didn’t spare a look at Taeil, who was dumbfounded by Ten’s last statement.

“Gonna call a waiter for more drinks,” he announced to no one in particular.

“Order me a coke,” Taeil requested, turning his head.

“Now you talk to me,” Haechan commented with a smirk. He called the waiter and made the order for them. “What did Ten do to you?” he asked, shooting a suspicious gaze at his friend.

“Nothing,” Ten showed his hands up, in an act of surrender. “I just think it’s boring when you’re quiet, I need you to be a part of the conversation,” he said with a wink. “Taeil has agreed on the part.”

Haechan got more suspicious by the second. “He didn’t even hear your pitch?”

“No need, I am Ten,” the director announced with a shrug.

“You are an idiot,” Haechan corrected him, smiling at Ten’s outrage.

“Say that to my Oscar!”

“You two are so chaotic,” Taeil interfered before Haechan could brag about his SAG and call the Academy a committee of people ready to die. A mere look at him had somehow appeased the two and Haechan felt the urge of touching his hand above the table but fought against it.

“That’s what makes us good at this business,” Ten replied, clicking his tongue. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I gotta go to the bathroom.”

The two observed him leave. Haechan turned to Taeil. “I’m glad you took the—“

“Why did you have to cast _him_?” Taeil cut him off, frowning so hard Haechan thought his eyebrows might fall off if he did it for too long.

“Wanted to teach you a lesson,” he answered unfazed and swiftly.

“You’re so vindictive, it makes you ugly,” Taeil said, disgust pouring from his lips.

Haechan remained unaffected and a half-smile graced his lips. “I was never pretty like you.”

“ _Now_ you compliment me,” the actor scoffed, crossing his arms.

Silence fell over them for some seconds, before Haechan spoke as-matter-of-factly. “You haven’t been jealous in a long time, maybe that will put you in my shoes.”

“I’m _not_ jealous—“ Taeil began arguing, but was cut off by Haechan’s raise of his hand.

“Sure, yeah, talk to me as if I don’t know you, that’s fun,” his answer was dripping with irony. No matter how much he had tried keeping himself sane, Taeil always managed to drag Haechan with him into insanity.

“This was so unprofessional of you.”

“Bringing Jaehyun to set was a fair play,” Haechan retorted with sarcasm.

“That was over a month ago!” Taeil exclaimed but seemed to calm himself the next second. He turned his head around to see if anyone had noticed and continue talking to Haechan in a lower voice. “I didn’t make you work with him.”

“No, you just left in his arms while he called you darling, putting on a show.”

“I’m sorry _you_ were jealous but I can bring whoever I want to set as long as Doyoung allows it,” Taeil said very slowly and squinting his eyes.

“I’m sorry _you_ were jealous but I can cast whoever I want in the show as long as Doyoung allows it,” Haechan echoed his words, a smile of victory in his lips. Taeil seemed to be silenced for a moment and Haechan felt his heart hurting. That wasn’t what he had in mind for that conversation to turn out. “I’m really happy you took the part,” he said, voice warmer.

“You act as if I’m doing this for you. This is for me,” Taeil stated, just as icy as before.

Haechan, however, was tired of that cold war for the night. “Doesn’t change the fact I’m happy.”

“You’re going out of your way to annoy me today,” Taeil huffed in desperation and he turned his face but Haechan knew he was flustered.

A lazy smile spread through his lips. “It’s always been my pleasure.”

Ten returned just in time. “Oh look! You two haven’t killed each other while I was in the bathroom.”

“Barely,” Haechan said and he saw Taeil’s stomach moving, meaning he had made him laugh.

  
❂

Taeil didn’t usually consume the drinks Haechan and Ten were having that night, but he was pretty sure four Gin Tonics were just too many Gin Tonics.

“Shouldn’t we go home?” he asked as Ten gestured to call the waiter.

“Another drink!” he requested loudly.

The polite, kept-to-himself man that Taeil had deemed elegant had simply vanished, turning into a messy-haired drunk lost-case. Taeil just hoped Ten didn’t drink on set.

Haechan was even worse if that was possible. Not only was his hair a complete mess, but he had also taken off his blazer and opened a few too many buttons on his shirt. Taeil tried his best not staring at it like a prude teenager but sometimes he couldn’t help when his eyes darted there in the hopes of a nip-slip. He was only thankful Haechan was too drunk to notice — most times.

This time around he had caught Taeil on the act and winked teasingly while biting his tongue.

Taeil, simply scandalized by that, turned his face. “God, you two—“

“We haven’t seen each other in ages, Taelie!” Ten excused himself loudly and Haechan finger-gunned him, making gyn sound effects with his mouth. 

“I’ll go home then—“ Taeil made mention to get his bag to pay the bill but Ten’s hand stopped him.

“No, no, stay,” he asked pleadingly.

“Why?” Taeil questioned in genuine curiosity. It didn’t sense for him to bother them with his presence.

“Someone’s gotta take Haechan home! He will fall on the street!” Ten announced, laughing loudly at that prospect.

Haechan, not making much for his case, simply finger-gunned Ten again, as if saying “you know it, bro.”

Taeil wanted to kill him.

“Taeil won’t indulge me,” he announced it as a fact and his playful smile failed him for a second.

Taeil turned to him the same second, leaning closer. “Ask me to stay and I’ll stay,” he murmured to him.

Haechan’s eyes lowered to Taeil’s lips as he licked his own. He came closer. “Stay,” he whispered and Taeil felt a strong hand on his knee. He tried not shivering, dropping his bag as a statement.

“Wanna prove me wrong,” Haechan commented, tightening the grip on Taeil’s knee. Taeil’s breath hitched.

“I can take care of you just as much as you take care of me,” Taeil said, thankful he hadn’t stuttered.

Haechan pulled his hand and laid back on his chair slowly. “We’ll see.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [return to the next text au update by clicking here ](https://twitter.com/thegreatmoon94/status/1274085106538491905?s=21)


	11. bittersweet vulnerability

“What time do you plan on leaving? I have a shooting tomorrow...” Taeil complained in a whine, interrupting Haechan and Ten’s conversation.

Haechan turned to him with a cynical smile. “Oh? A Marvel shooting?”

“Yeah,” Taeil confirmed begrudgingly while crossing his arms. “Gonna sabotage me?”

“You think I’m the devil on earth, huh?” he asked with a raised eyebrow and leaning terribly close so Taeil could see more of his chest due to the top buttons being unbuttoned. He kept his eyes up to face Haechan, who winked again. “Ten, what time does your friend arrive?” he questioned while turning to Ten.

“Hm... any minute now... You can leave me if you want,” he said while checking his phone for new messages.

“No, no, we’ll wait for him to get here, and then we will leave,” Haechan said, not giving space for Ten to protest. He took a sip of his water, having changed the drinks the moment Taeil said he would be taking care of him.

Ten leaned closer to Taeil, to whisper loudly, “Isn’t Haechan a gentleman?”

  
❂

“Are you gonna drop me on a sidewalk and steal my car?” Haechan asked as Taeil drove through the highway. It had been fairly easy to get him in the car after Ten’s friend arrived and it had been a quiet ride so far. Haechan’s car was brand new but Taeil knew his way around the engines with not much problem.

“No,” he answered, keeping his eyes on the road.

“Why not? You totally should,” Haechan insisted and, even if Taeil had thought him to be teasing, he caught a serious tone behind his act.

“Stop it,” the blonde said, shaking his head.

When they arrived at the complex, Haechan was almost jumping out of the car. Thankfully, Taeil had stopped the vehicle before he could hop out from it and kept him from removing his seatbelt.

Haechan tried fighting him but Taeil kept his hand on the seatbelt. “Just leave me, I can go to the apartment alone—“

“Why are you making this harder? I will take care of you,” Taeil whined loudly and that seemed to calm Haechan’s heart for a while.

Taeil got out of the car and offered Haechan a help when getting out, which wasn’t accepted. He still tried to hold Haechan’s hand, in case that his drunk state would lead him to trip. Haechan avoided his touch but eventually gave in when Taeil insisted.

Haechan’s hand was slightly sweaty and cold but Taeil still held it tightly. When they arrived to his apartment, Taeil had him sit on the couch and walked to the kitchen.

“What are you doing—“ Haechan asked just before a water bottle ended up in his hand.

“Giving you water,” Taeil explained with a slightly sarcastic smile.

Haechan groaned. “Just go home, you have shootings tomorrow—“

“No, Hyuckie, you asked me to stay, I’ll stay,” Taeil said loudly and sternly. He uncapped a bottle and gave to Haechan, speaking softer this time, “Let me take care of you.”

Haechan looked at him with the tail of his eyes and accepted the bottle. He took one gulp from it and Taeil raised one eyebrow. Then he sighed and drank the rest of the liquid.

Taeil seemed to be satisfied. He was about to take Haechan to his room when Haechan spoke before he could.

“I can’t be mad at you anymore...” he murmured, more to himself than Taeil.

“What?” the actor frowned in confusion.

“I can’t be mad at you anymore and it’s driving me crazy!” Haechan blurted out loudly. “I was supposed to be angry at you that you don’t tell me what happened with the cheating rumors — and I still am — but I can’t lash out on you anymore,” he confessed, seeming beyond angry at himself for this. He shook his head and started speaking lower, “I’ve let you come too close and now I’m poisoned... I can’t even wish you hell, I just... It was so much easier having grudges when you weren’t next to me, listening to me, watching me, talking to me... taking care of me...” he trailed off and his voice cracked on his last words.

Taeil was utterly speechless. He hadn’t seen Haechan break down in front of him in a while and all he could think of doing was approaching him but was afraid Haechan might curse at him for it. Still, he followed his gut and sat down next to him, arm around Haechan’s back.

“We got closer again... That’s what you wanted, right?” Haechan asked him, eyes lost on the floor.

Taeil had a lump on his throat but tried his best to speak. “What I want... is for us to be good again...”

“That won’t happen...” Haechan murmured with a dry chuckle.

Taeil’s thoughts were finally finding pieces he didn’t even know were missing. “You brought Renjun to make us fight again, didn’t you?” he asked accusatorially. Haechan’s hanging silence was good enough for an answer. “You’re sabotaging us...”

There was a bittersweetness in that conclusion. It hurt how Haechan fought against them until his last breath as if Taeil was someone to be avoided at all costs. For him, it was better to have their self-destruction than welcome Taeil in again. However, the fact that Haechan had tried to put something between them meant that there _was_ something between them. Haechan had just admitted Taeil was winning and he knew what he had just done.

“And failing at that... How pathetic,” he muttered, trying to leave Taeil arms, but was held closer.

“Don’t fight against your tender feelings, Hyuckie, they are the prettiest side of you,” Taeil whispered sweetly. His heart felt warm somehow. He wasn’t falling on his own, Haechan was as scared as he was.

“I’m ugly,” Haechan retorted but he didn’t try escaping Taeil’s arms anymore and his words left his throat chocked out.

“Only because you want to be,” Taeil said, finding Haechan’s eyes even though he was averting them. “Today, no matter how much I tried, you wouldn’t engage in fights with me...” he stated and a smile curling his lips. “Don’t try to make us fight, it doesn’t work anymore.”

Haechan visibly relaxed. “Fuck,” he cursed under his breath while running his hand through his hair. “Fighting you is a whole lot easier.”

“I know,” Taeil murmured, letting out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding in his chest.

He got up and offered Haechan a hand that was taken with no further commentary.

The two showered, in different bathrooms, and met each other in Haechan’s bedroom. He was only wearing boxers and Taeil had to remind himself to keep his eyes up.

“You can go, I’m much sober now,” Haechan said, but it was clear he still wasn’t as sober as he wanted Taeil to believe he was.

“And you still don’t have your clothes on...” Taeil joked, earning a smirk from Haechan who couldn’t stand still for much longer and sat on his bed. “No, I’m gonna sleep here,” he declared proudly.

“You have shooting tomorrow,” Haechan reminded him but Taeil couldn’t find any bitterness in his words.

Taeil shrugged. “‘S okay. Want me to go to the guest bedroom?” he asked, already motioning to leave, but Haechan’s words stopped him.

“No... Sleep with me,” he requested.

Taeil was shocked. That was the second request Haechan made that night. He was truly vulnerable.

With quick hands, Taeil took off his pants, deciding to sleep only in his big white shirt, that once belonged to Haechan. The lights were already turned off when he snuggled next to him under the covers, placing his head on his bare chest.

“You’re so cuddly,” he said quietly, tracing patterns on Haechan’s chest. Haechan squirmed a little but didn’t seem against Taeil’s touches. “Did I do a good job taking care of you?”

“Fishing for compliments?” the screenwriter teased and Taeil could picture the cocky smirk on his lips at that moment.

“Shut up,” Taeil muttered embarrassedly.

“You did a great job, Illie. Thank you for being here even after what I did today,” Haechan spoke and Taeil knew he was speaking from his heart. He came even closer to Haechan, wrapping his leg with his legs. “Aren’t you a little too close?” Haechan asked, but made no move from escaping Taeil’s embrace.

“I’m not close enough,” Taeil shot back. Haechan didn’t fight him. “Now let’s sleep.”

  
❂

“Taeil-ah,” a lazy voice spoke to Taeil’s ear.

“Hmmm,” he hummed and held closer the warmth under his hands.

“You should work,” the voice reminded him.

 _Work._ Taeil opened his eyes instantly to find Haechan very close to him. He looked so pretty under the pale sunlight that illuminated the room.

“But your arms are so warm,” he mumbled, coming even closer.

“Taeil-ah,” Haechan repeated, sterner this time.

“Hmmmmm,” Taeil hummed, taking a loud sniff to smell Haechan’s scent better. He was so warm and good, Taeil’s head was fuzzy.

“I’ll make you breakfast as you shower,” Haechan announced just seconds before he jumped out of bed, leaving Taeil disoriented. He had no other choice but shower.

  
❂

“Stealing another one of my hoodies, huh?” Haechan asked as Taeil walked down the stairs wearing a light purple hoodie. He was very proud of his latest acquisition.

“And a shirt,” Taeil added, showing the blue shirt under the now-his hoodie.

“God, you’re a little criminal,” Haechan said, finishing the scrambled eggs he was cooking.

“Arrest me, officer,” Taeil teased with a wink.

Haechan sighed and rolled his eyes. “Just eat, Taeil-ah.”

It was a very delicious breakfast, especially taking into account it was cooked in such a hurry. Taeil liked the fact Haechan didn’t try pushing him orange juice or coffee and simply gave him a can of coke. Taeil ate silently but happily. When he was done, he caught Haechan seemingly watching him with fondness in his eyes.

“I should be the one taking care of you,” Taeil whined with a pout.

“You did, last night. This is a thank you,” Haechan told him kindly.

“Oh? Why didn’t you say so? I’d have accepted a kiss as a thank you,” Taeil teased, biting his bottom lip.

“Would you?” Haechan asked, coming closer to Taeil, whose eyes widened as he backed away. “Thought so, babe,” Haechan snickered victoriously as Taeil’s cheeks warmed.

“How are you gonna get there?” Haechan asked, taking a step back to where he was.

Taeil took a second to understand the question, but when he did, he was instantly alarmed.

“Oh, I... shit. I forgot to text my driver—“

“It’s okay,” Haechan assured him, touching his hand. “I texted mine last night before bed.”

And so, Haechan bid Taeil goodbye after having his driver come pick him up. Taeil felt his belly warm and his skin tingling where Haechan had last touched him. He only wished his lips were tingling too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [return to the next text au update by clicking here ](https://twitter.com/thegreatmoon94/status/1276002770856927232?s=21)


	12. buzzing touch (might be my phone)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> doyoung goes to mark’s rescue

The house smelt of weed, cigars, and musk. Doyoung absolutely hated it.

It didn’t take long for him to find Mark in the midst of noise and young-adult conception of fun. He was sitting on the only couch available, giggling as he typed to his phone. Doyoung felt his own phone buzzing and sighed, not wanting to know what Mark had just texted him. He only hoped it wasn’t any nudes.

“Let’s go,” he commanded as soon as he got in front of Mark. The young man dropped his phone, a starry-eyed gaze on his eyes and a smile of pure adoration on his lips.

“Oooooh, who is fancy pants?” a buff man next to Mark asked.

Yeah, Doyoung definitely looked fancy in his blazer considering the young man was wearing some dumb football shirt.

“I make more in a year than you will make in your entire lifetime, don’t you dare—“

“Siiiiiiiir Doie!” Mark interrupted him, jumping from the couch and losing balance, ending with his hands on Doyoung’s chest. “You came to my rescue,” he breathed out and the alcohol coming from his mouth flared Doyoung’s nostrils.

“Yeah, you’re too drunk to be here, you were texting me nonsense,” Doyoung said and, even though he wanted Mark to be as far away from him as possible, held his waist so he wouldn’t fall.

“Wanting to suck your dick isn’t nonsense!” Mark exclaimed, making some heads turn around.

Doyoung was simply scandalized.

“Let’s go, Mark,” he said, dragging the younger by his hand. Mark let himself be dragged like a doll.

❂

“Where do you live?” Doyoung asked, hands on the wheel, trying to ignore the fact Mark had unbuttoned his shirt and had wetted his lips. _Good Lord_ , that boy...

“Dunno...” Mark said while tapping his lips and feigning true ignorance.

“Mark, where do you live?” Doyoung repeated his questions, hitting the gas.

Suddenly there was a hand on his thigh. _Fuck._

“You could have sent me one of your people to fetch me, but you came yourself...” Mark slurred out, sweet voice making him sound completely enamored.

“Mark,” Doyoung said, as a warning. He held the wheel harder.

“I really wanna thank you, Siiiiir, you are sooooo good to me, all I want is to be your good boy,” he went on, increasing the intensity of his touch and rising his hand so it’d be closer to Doyoung’s crotch.

“Mark, I’m driving!”

“‘S okay, sir, I’ll suck you when you’re parked—“

“No. Sucking. Absolutely nothing, okay?!” Doyoung finally screamed.

“S-sorry I have disappointed sir, I didn’t mean to,” Mark said in shame, pulling back his hand and curling against the car door.

He looked very upset and Doyoung wanted to reassure him he hadn’t disappointed him, but couldn’t find the rights words and deemed that would only fuel Mark’s sexual advances. The rest of the drive was spent in silence.

❂

They hadn’t talked much in the apartment. Mark was very shy, but also too drunk to escape Doyoung’s care. So, he drank water, brushed his teeth, and accepted Doyoung’s spare pajamas. Doyoung wished him good night, but Mark was already sleeping.

The next morning, Doyoung was reading the newspaper on the couch by the door. Mark was walking with ballerina steps to the exit. Doyoung closed his newspaper.

“Mark?” he asked him, making his secretary turn around wide-eyed. He had been caught in his escape.

“S-sir Doyoung... I’m so sorry, so sorry, I—“ he began apologizing, bowing his head in shame and avoiding Doyoung’s gaze.

“Mark, wait—“

“Y-you have schedules, sir! S-so many meetings, oh my god, that new movie you’re producing and— Oh my god, sir, I am so sorry—“

“Mark,” Doyoung tried to call him to reason again but when Mark started rambling it was hard for him to stop.

“I-I will understand if you want to f-fire me, how pathetic of me and how-how unprofessional—“

“Mark!” Doyoung shouted and grabbed his shoulders. Mark looked up, suddenly speechless. “Did you mean it?” he asked softly.

Mark opened his mouth to speak but he seemed at a loss for words. “Hm?”

“That you,” Doyoung held the urge to roll his eyes before pronouncing the next words. It sounded so childish, god. “like me?”

Mark’s cheeks blushed at the same time he became pale. “S-sir... I-I...” he again looked speechless, but Doyoung didn’t miss how his eyes had dropped to his lips.

“God, I’m so gonna regret this,” Doyoung muttered to himself.

He leaned over Mark, placed his hands on his waist, and pulled him for a kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [return to the next text au update by clicking here ](https://twitter.com/thegreatmoon94/status/1279583546726928389?s=21)


	13. babe, this is chaos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> an intense day on set

Haechan spotted him the minute he walked inside the studio. Taeil was wearing his yellow hoodie, just as he had promised, his blonde hair matching well with his clothes.

The writer sneaked behind him to whisper in his ear, “My hoodie looks good on you.”

His lips almost touched Taeil’s ear and the actor turned around in pure surprise at Haechan being there. His eyes were brighter than a thousand cities at night.

“You mean _my_ hoodie, hm?” Taeil asked teasingly, playing with the hem of Haechan’s blazer and biting his bottom lip.

“Whatever you say, babe,” Haechan replied with a wink.

Taeil lost the playful smile on his lips and suddenly started looking around them. “Ah, Hyuckie, you can’t call me babe in front of people,” he said with a whisper-voice. “They might think we are together...”

Haechan took a step back. “Oh yeah, we wouldn’t want them to think _that_ ,” he answered with a hint of bitterness he hadn’t intended on showing.

Taeil’s eyebrows furrowed and he looked apologetic. “It’s not that—“

Before he could properly voice his explanation, a puppy in the form of a man appeared, with his hair flapping while he grinned brightly.

“Hey, guys! What’s up?!” Yuta asked loudly, disturbing the moment between the two.

Haechan had time to dress up his blank face. “I’m going to my office, ask Johnny to call for me when shooting starts,” he announced to no one in particular.

As he turned around, he heard Yuta’s question to Taeil, “Oof, is he moody today?” and also Taeil’s sigh that followed it.

❂

Doyoung had a strained smile on his lips as he stood in front of the entire cast and crew. Ever since his presence had been noticed by Johnny (who screamed in utter desperation when he realized that no, Doyoung wasn’t a product of a masochist imagination), the cast and crew had become quieter and walked around straighter. Doyoung liked the fact they feared him, it was the most honorable way they could show respect.

“Hello everyone, this is a surprise visit, I’ve missed some people here and I decided to check on you. Hope you do your job well today,” he told everyone while clasping his hands together.

“Do we owe you money or something?” Johnny asked from the back, making the cast and crew chuckle.

“Oh, Mr. Suh, you are always a delight,” Doyoung said, tone dripping of irony. He walked towards the director, who didn’t hide his disgust. “I hope you’re treating Mark well or else your career will be over,” he said lowly as everyone went back to their jobs.

Mark, who was just behind Johnny, blushed furiously and tried sticking his eyes to the tablet in his hands.

“No need to get jealous, I haven’t touched your boytoy,” Johnny said and Doyoung rolled his eyes.

“Shall we begin? I’m losing money by the minute,” he said while snapping his fingers.

Mark quickly found him a chair to sit and Johnny yelled at the set for the shooting was about to start.

❂

Taeil and Renjun were doing an excellent job as Jude and Kit. Jude had just rescued Kit from selling his song (soul) sample to an evil corporation (that was literally run by evil versions of Jude and Max from another universe that came to this one to monopolize the world of music) and they had found refuge in Jude’s home-slash-studio.

“Jude, thanks for saving—“

Renjun started saying, feigning out of breath, only to be pulled closer by Taeil for a kiss. Their lips met passionately but only for a few seconds.

“Wow,” Renjun said, blinking his eyes rapidly.

“Gonna take this as you showing you’re thankful, kitten,” Taeil replied softly.

“Cut!” Johnny yelled, interrupting the scene. “That was great, boys, I don’t even think we need another shot. Let me check,” he said as he went to the camera to watch the tape.

“Are you sure though?” Renjun asked loudly while scratching his head. “I’m pretty sure we can do another.”

Taeil pushed him with his shoulder and Renjun pushed back. The two giggled.

“Better you be careful, Renjun, or he might end up dragging you too deep,” Haechan said, making his presence known. He was by the side of the set, hidden by the cameras, and Taeil hadn’t seen him the entire scene. As he was performing it he wasn’t even sure if Haechan was in the audience. It warmed his heart to know he had been there accomplishing what Renjun still classified as “a straight boy’s lesbian dream.”

“As if you weren’t dragged...” Renjun muttered while rolling his eyes.

“I’m talking as someone who is experienced!”

“I’m not some monster...” Taeil protested with a pout.

Haechan brushed his thumb on Taeil’s cheek and the actor closed his eyes for a moment. “More like a siren, babe—“ the writer noticed his mistake and quickly corrected himself while pulling back his hand and taking one step back, “I, I mean, Taeilie, hm, Taeil...”

Haechan was wide-eyed and sighed. “I better go back to my office,” he said, not looking at Taeil in the eyes. Soon Haechan was gone and Johnny was ready for just another shot. Taeil still felt his touch on his cheek.

❂

Taeil knocked at the door but didn’t hear anything on the other side. He opened it shyly and stuck his head.

“Can I come in?” he asked with uncertainty.

Haechan was surrounded by a pile of papers, clearly trying his best to write down the script. He always wrote on paper. Back in the day, when he didn’t have money, he wrote it back to the computer with his own hands, but now he paid a secretary to do it. Taeil always liked his appreciation for the written word even if Haechan’s handwriting wasn’t the prettiest.

Haechan raised his head, clearly lost in thought, and answered airily, “Sure.”

Taeil made his way through the room and sat in an armchair next to his while Haechan tried tidying up the papers as fast as he could. When the two were done, an awkward silence installed between them.

“I’m sorry for... hm... _that_...” Haechan said with vacant gestures and obvious embarrassment.

“It’s okay, you didn’t mean to—“ Taeil tried to ease him, but was soon interrupted.

“It sounded like I was forcing something and I just—“

“No, you weren’t,” Taeil cut him off right away. Haechan still opened his mouth to argue further but Taeil grabbed his hand and caressed it with his thumb. “Hyuckie, let me reassure you like you reassure me.”

Haechan nodded, pressing his lips into a thin line.

Taeil took a deep breath. “I’m not... ashamed of people assuming we are dating... I guess I even _want_ that. I like wearing your hoodies, I tell everyone we are texting, when you compliment me in front of others, it’s simply blissful,” he confessed, a smile curling his lips with the memory. Haechan listened to him attentively and with a fond gaze. “I just don’t want to put you in that position since you don’t want to date me and... I actually shouldn’t be even doing what I’m doing but I can’t help it... I’ve always been weaker...” he mumbled with shame in the end, avoiding Haechan’s eyes.

The grasp on his hand became stronger. “Don’t say that Illie, when I also do things a boyfriend would,” Haechan reprimanded him. Taeil looked shocked by the revelation. “I guess we always knew our touches and care for these last few weeks had other connotations. There would be a time we’d to face it, but we simply avoided that.”

“Y-you want me?” Taeil asked, wide-eyed and pale.

“Isn’t it obvious?” Haechan chuckled and moved a loose strand of hair from Taeil’s forehead. “I want this so much I’m afraid to burst this bubble by making the same question that leads to our falling out every time,” he said melancholically.

Taeil shook his head. “No, no, Hyuckie. Don’t make that question,” he said and Haechan’s face fell. He was about to pull off his hand when Taeil held it for a second longer. “Let me explain it myself.”

Haechan, speechless by the turn of events, agreed with his head. Taeil let go of his hand, placing them on his own thighs and took a few seconds to speak again.

“Ah, I’ve rehearsed it in my mind but now that it comes to talking about it... Well... Two years ago, when I was rejected for that lead role in that movie that got tons of Oscars and I started trying out for my Marvel part, that was when we started having small disagreements. It wasn’t anything big, but you constantly telling me I was better than Marvel did nothing for my self-esteem... I actually thought you were trying to have control over my career.

“I know you only wanted what was best for me and you loved me too much, saw my potential, but it felt suffocating sometimes. Still, we talked it over, we resolved it and we decided I’d keep trying for Marvel. We met Jaehyun. You two didn’t match one little bit.

“I think you misunderstand your hatred for Jaehyun as rivalry but... I think he only does it to annoy you. He considers it’s hypocritical of you to be someone who hit big after being taken under the wing of a big studio to criticize Marvel so much. He deems you as a purist, a moralist, and I guess he just wants to push your buttons a little...

“This distaste between you two proved to be really good for me because Jaehyun said he’d get me a role in a Marvel movie only to spite you. He also took a liking to me in the way... With his help, I had high chances of getting the role and I was almost there,” Taeil took a pause, bigger than the others and Haechan held his breath. “And then you slammed Marvel on national TV...

“I honestly don’t know what you were thinking? Perhaps you were upset about how much time I spent lobbying for the role and the amount of time I spent with Jae or maybe you wanted me to stick to Oscar-winning roles... It could be even that you were being loose mouthed... In the end, doesn’t matter. It couldn’t have come in the worst timing. Suddenly all the doors Jae and I had worked to open had closed on my face.

“You and I were so interconnected in the eyes of the people, not only as artist and muse but as boyfriends, so what you said directly affected me. All the proposals I had on my table had vanished in seconds. Marvel isn’t just Marvel, they are Disney and they retaliate. I became scared of never getting a movie role in my life, I was so desperate.

“The worst part of it was... I couldn’t share my desperation with you. I was paranoid that you had done it in purpose. I didn’t doubt you before but then, I couldn’t stop thinking that you were caging me, chaining me to the movies you considered to be the best for me. Jaehyun then told me what he envisioned as his business strategy. He first suggested me to break up with you publicly, but I couldn’t, so we stuck to Jaehyun and I acting like a couple in front of investors so they’d think you were not really my boyfriend or that we were on the verge of breaking up. Jae and I lobbied together, he’d show some bigger level of intimacy towards me in public and we would leave the events together.

“Jaehyun fueled the rumors with my consent. He also made sure it never reached the tabloids. I questioned myself if I should tell you but... I couldn’t stop thinking that you had sabotaged my career and that you might try again. I was paranoid. I just let it go on for weeks.

“Eventually you caught onto it. You’d beg me not to go with Jaehyun, having heard the rumors and missing me. I still had to go, but I started feeling guilty. This time I didn’t tell you afraid I’d break your heart and losing you forever.

“Well, in the end, it didn’t matter, I ended up breaking it anyway. After more than a month playing cat and mouse, you got fed up with the rumors and that’s when the fights started. After that, I didn’t explain only as a matter of pride due to hearing the hideous things you called me after I spent a night out with Jaehyun.

“That’s it. That’s the entire story. I never cheated on you in the strict sense, I was always terribly in love with you and even if I thought Jae desirable, he wasn’t worth risking my relationship over and never got close to what you are to me. Yet... I still fucked this up... I don’t have justification for my actions, only explanations, but I hope you can forgive me someday. I’ll understand if you don’t,” Taeil finally concluded, slightly breathless.

He had told the story all in a row, trying to avoid looking at Haechan in case any reaction he showed would keep him from speaking any further. His heart was beating fast and he could practically hear it. He tasted blood in his tongue and knew he had bitten his lips too hard.

“Please say something,” he asked after a few moments of silence, his voice cracking. He had held his tears while telling the story, but he didn’t know for how much longer could he keep them from escaping his eyes.

“It’s hard for me to even say something to someone who willingly humiliated me only to get a part,” Haechan commented with contained anger as he closed his hand into a fist.

Taeil raised his head to stare back at him. Haechan was unfazed. “Hyuck—“

“I guess you at least got the role so it wasn’t all in vain,” Haechan interrupted, with a sarcastic-bitter smirk on his lips. “Hope Marvel treats you better than I did.”

“Hyuckie, please—“

Haechan didn’t seem to hear him, lost on his own thoughts. “You know, Taeil, maybe you were right about me idolizing you. I never thought you’d be capable of this,” he said with disgust.

Taeil shook his head and spoke louder, “Doesn’t matter what you say, I know we will heal from this. I know you will see my side.” Even if his voice was unstable, he kept talking. Only then he noticed tears were streaming down his cheek and he wiped them with the back of his hand.

“How can you be so sure?” Haechan asked and Taeil couldn’t quite place the nature of that question. Was he being accusatory or was it a genuine question?

“We’ve done it before, we can do it again,” Taeil affirmed with confidence.

Haechan rolled his eyes and huffed, “Stop being so—“

Before he could finish his sentence, the door was slammed open and a woman with pink cotton candy hair entered the room.

“Guys—“ Yerim started saying excitedly but then sensed a weird tension in the room. “Oh, am I interrupting something?”

Haechan averted his gaze from Taeil to Yerim. “No, we were just talking.”

Yerim still seemed confused until she took a look at Taeil’s face. Suddenly, understanding lit her eyes, “Ah! About the script?”

Taeil furrowed his eyebrows and sniffed before looking at Haechan, who seemed to be silently reprimanding Yerim. The woman looked apologetic.

“What script?” he asked between sniffs.

Haechan turned his attention to Taeil and started to speak with some reluctance. “Since you asked... the movie you got the part of, Ten’s movie... I wrote it.”

Taeil had stopped crying, his heart started beating faster in his chest again. “What?!”

“Yeah, I wrote it and sold it to him a few years back. When I scheduled the meeting I had no idea this was the part he was offering you, he only informed me that same night and I expected him to explain that to you himself, but he didn’t...” Haechan trailed off when he was done. He avoided Taeil’s gaze since it was his turn to be ashamed.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You’re constantly afraid of me controlling your career and I didn’t find the right time. Besides it’s not like I was the only one keeping a secret,” he added the last sentence with much more irony than Taeil would have liked.

“Still—“ he was ready to question him further when he heard screams coming from the set. “What’s that noise?”

Haechan had heard it too. The two got up and walked fast towards the door. From the top of the stairs, they watched as a black-haired man held onto an orange-haired’s hand.

“No, no, Jungwoo, you have to understand!” Yuta said in an almost begging tone. He tried holding Jungwoo’s arm but the make-up artist tried to get away from his hold.

Taeil quickly climbed down the stairs, leaving Haechan and Yerim there. Everyone in the studio had their eyes on Jungwoo and Yuta. Taeil got the closest he could to the two but didn’t want to interfere.

“Yuta, stop making a scene,” Jungwoo hissed, obviously without much patience.

“Please, please... Let’s talk! Let me fix this,” Yuta was almost on his knees to beg.

“Now it’s not the time!” Jungwoo exclaimed in exasperation but still let Yuta hold his arm.

“I don’t want you upset with me! Babu, please!” Yuta burst into tears and that finally seemed to be the last strike for Jungwoo.

“Stop!” he said, louder than before and pulling off his arm from Yuta’s hold. He looked disappointed and murmured something only Taeil and those very close to them could hear. “I cannot believe you outed us...”

Yuta finally gave into his knees. “I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry...” he chanted in deep sorrow.

Taeil couldn’t stand watching that scene any longer. No good thing would come from it. He pulled Joohyun close to whisper on her ear, “Joochu, take care of Nayu and I’ll care of Woo.”

He saw Joohyun kneeling down to talk to Yuta and so Taeil went to Jungwoo, arms on his shoulders so he could take him to his trailer.

❂

They walked to the trailer in silence, hand in hand. Taeil sat Jungwoo on the small couch and grabbed him a coke can.

“I worked so hard for no one in the studio to know... Yu destroyed that in a few seconds...” Jungwoo mumbled in disbelief. His eyes were glassy.

Taeil sat down next to him and gently caressed his hair, “What happened? Do you wanna talk?”

Jungwoo gulped before he started speaking, “Well, you know we’ve been a little tense, walking on thin ice... So today I was leaving the make-up room and I saw Yuta giving Johnny a kiss on the cheek. I-I really don’t care, it was harmless, but I guess Yuta panicked and he tried to make me talk to him, which I didn’t want to. I tried walking past him but he insisted and then the situation escalated and it suddenly turned into this loud discussion that everyone could hear...” he stopped talking to press his hand against his forehead. Taeil remained in silence, waiting to see if Jungwoo would add anything more.

“I tried so hard to keep our relationship a secret. All I wanted was to protect him,” he said with regret.

Taeil hummed along before finally speaking, “Woo, but now that everyone knows... maybe you can be more honest to him?”

Jungwoo raised his head, “You want me to tell him about _that_?”

“Oh no! But just say it was all about the workplace... Now that everyone knows, you can be more out with the relationship,” Taeil advised.

Doyoung and Mark had been on the crowd as Jungwoo and Yuta argued. Taeil hoped they would be bored by a couple’s disagreement and wouldn’t take any clues from it, but the fact was everything was in the open. Maybe Jungwoo and Yuta could go back as they were before.

Jungwoo seemed to reply to Taeil’s inner thoughts with his next question, “Will there even be a relationship after this?”

His voice cracked at the end and the next second Jungwoo was crying copiously on Taeil’s shoulder. Taeil held him tightly, caressing his back and allowing him the time he needed to stop crying. After a few minutes, the velocity of tears slowed down and Jungwoo had stopped hiccuping.

“Woo, sweetheart, of course, there will be a relationship,” Taeil assured him while wiping his tears with his hoodie’s paws. “Come to my place after work, hm? So you won’t be alone in your apartment.”

“I don’t want to be a nuisance,” Jungwoo mumbled shyly.

“No, no... I don’t wanna be alone too... Hyuck and I aren’t in our best moment,” Taeil confessed. Jungwoo was actually helping him not to think about his conversation with Haechan.

“Wanna talk?” Jungwoo asked softly and Taeil smiled at his cuteness.

“At my place, okay?”

Jungwoo nodded, trying his best to look excited. Taeil kissed his cheek and hugged him once again.

❂

There were two men where the trailers were stationed inside the studio. They observed Taeil’s trailer from a safe distance.

“What a lucky day for me to come to set, Mark,” Doyoung said showing a satisfied grin.

“Indeed, sir! I’d never have imagined Mr. Nakamoto had a relationship with someone from the crew,” Mark replied.

“And someone that Moon Taeil seems to be his close friend as well...” Doyoung commented before turning to Mark. “Gather up all information about this Kim Jungwoo you can, Mark. Also, check for his location the day of the Yunho incident.”

“Got it, Sir,” the secretary took down notes on his iPad so he would forget.

Doyoung was silent for a few seconds before he added, “And, hm,” he coughed before continuing. “If you wanna pass by my apartment later to give me all this information, I wouldn’t mind...”

Mark blushed and tried not squirming, “O-oh, of course, Sir.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [return to the next text au update by clicking here ](https://twitter.com/thegreatmoon94/status/1281694483495649282?s=21)


	14. hold me by the hoodie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> doyoung announces jungwoo’s firing

Doyoung clasped his hands and smiled at the cast and crew in front of him. Differently from precious occasions, this time his smile was genuine and he had to tone it down or else he’d look too happy about firing someone.

“Hello again! I know we have seen each other recently but I came here to inform you a colleague of yours who shall not be named has been fired recently,” he informed and everyone stared him with a blank expression. Jungwoo’s firing rumor must have already spread through that working day and Doyoung was more than pleased by that. “He was fired for recording meetings on set and putting them online. Any pictures or videos on set are extremely forbidden, especially if not agreed on by the people being filmed or photographed. We hope this serves as an example for you and that nothing of the kind ever happens again,” he concluded, staring at the cast and crew before dismissing them. He especially gazed at Johnny Suh, daring him to add some funny anecdote. The producer, however, seemed beaten and had nothing to add. Doyoung was most pleased.

The small crowd dispersed and Doyoung quickly found the short black-haired young man he was looking for. As always, he only had eyes for his IPad, where he typed words very fast.

“How did I do, baby?” Doyoung asked with a whisper in his ear.

Mark raised his head up with a blush on his cheeks. Doyoung loved making his baby flustered.

“E-extremely well, sir.”

“You look so cute with this shirt, god,” he complimented, checking Mark out.

His secretary was wearing a dark blue silk shirt _way_ above what his pay could afford.

“Thanks for buying it for me,” Mark scratched the back of his head in embarrassment.

“Thank _you_ for wearing it,” Doyoung said back, pulling Mark closer in a bold move. “Wish I could take you to a room and just make out.”

The secretary lowered his eyes to his IPad, “S-sir...”

On the other side of the set, Johnny and Haechan were talking. Johnny bit his bottom lip before finally sighing.

“Fuck, I feel like shit,” he confessed, feeling a weight leave his shoulders.

“There was nothing you could do, Johnny, Doyoung was hunting the culprit for months now,” Haechan reassured him while massaging his shoulder.

Johnny nodded even though he didn’t seem to agree with Haechan. “Yeah but... I was the one who passed him the info that it was someone Taeil knew who the person was.”

Haechan pulled back his hand, “You what?”

“Doyoung threatened our careers,” Johnny explainec himself while leaning against a fake wall.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Haechan asked, keeping his eyes focused on Johnny.

Their partnership had been built on mutual trust. Johnny didn’t have to share every little detail of his life and Haechan didn’t want to know, but everything regards their job was a must.

The trust built between each other was what allowed them to be such an unbeatable team. Johnny would tell Haechan when his writing was shit, Haechan would gossip to Johnny about which industry-people didn’t like them. Yet, Johnny kept a secret for months even.

The producer shrugged, “I don’t know, Hae... Ashamed I guess... I always talk about standing up to Doyoung but when it was time I couldn’t.” Johnny had his eyes on the floor as he mumbled his excuses. Haechan was still shocked.

He became quiet for a few moments before trying to muster the courage to say something, “I—“

He was interrupted by Johnny who probably didn’t notice he had started to speak and wanted to put an end at the awkward silence.

“God, Taeil is a wreck,” he commented, eyes on something behind Haechan.

The screenwriter turned around to see Taeil conversing with Yerim. He was pale, with deep and dark bags under his eyes that were previously covered by make-up and he was wearing one of Haechan’s hoodies. Ever since their discussion, Taeil hadn’t worn anything Haechan had given him and not even spared him a gaze. In the days they were together Taeil had confessed he liked wearing Haechan’s clothes on especially hard days. “It’s as if you’re next to me, protecting me,” he said with ease, causing Haechan to steal a kiss from his lips and promise he’d always be there to protect him as well.

Yet, at that moment, he wasn’t there.

Taeil didn’t notice Haechan’s eyes on him, he was too focused on making the pink-haired woman in front of him pay attention to what he was saying. Yerim seemed airy, out of reality. Maybe that was how she dealt with her friend being fired.

“Yerim, I’m sorry I couldn’t protect him,” Taeil apologized with regret. Yerim still looked over Taeil’s shoulder.

“You did everything you could,” she replied, almost automatically.

“I could have done more,” Taeil insisted, still failing on catching Yerim’s attention.

“It’s okay, we will get him back,” she easily promised, with a confidence that didn’t need to be overstated to make any effect.

Taeil furrowed his eyebrows in pity. Yerim wasn’t sad because she couldn’t understand the gravity of what was happening.

“Yerim... Doyoung is really powerful,” Taeil told her, as softly as he could.

“It’s okay, I am smarter than him,” Yerim replied, and, for the first time in that conversation, her eyes locked with Taeil’s and she winked cheekily. “Gotta go, Illie,” she announced, quickly kissing Taeil’s cheek and leaving him alone on the set.

Taeil didn’t know what to do with himself. He was desolated and alone, clinging himself to that damn purple hoodie as if his life depended on it. If he could, he would simply cry all his feelings away and turn into a sad puddle in the middle of that empty set.

It was over. The forces of evil had won. His friend had been fired, his other friends were either busy with the problems he caused or too angry to talk to him and his ex didn’t want him even if he was the last man alive on the universe.

His own thoughts drove him spiraling into sadness. At least he’d give himself the trouble of crying in the privacy of his trailer or car...

“Hey,” a voice called for him.

Taeil turned around to see Haechan walking towards his direction. He was wearing his usual buttoned-up shirt and didn’t seem to slow down under Taeil’s gaze.

“Haechan, now it’s not the time—“

Before he could finish his sentence, Taeil was engulfed by Haechan’s arms and pressed against his chest. Taeil didn’t fight it, he molded against his chest, held his shirt tight, and released everything that was pent up inside his chest. He wetted Haechan’s shirt with his tears and Haechan simply petted his hair, whispering sweet words to his ear.

“It’s okay, shhhh,” Haechan said, as Taeil hiccuped and wetted his shirt further. His lips were accidentally touching Taeil’s ear. “It’s okay, Illie,” he reassured him, holding him tighter against his body.

Taeil nodded, still holding tightly to his shirt and not daring to look up. Haechan remained in the same position, keeping a warm aura around Taeil and whispering kind words to his ear. Taeil’s muffled hiccups slowly had bigger pauses between them and there didn’t seem to have more tears leaving his eyes. He slowly grew some distance between his head and Haechan’s chest, though not detaching his hand from his shirt.

Taeil looked up and sniffed cutely.

Haechan, endeared by Taeil, slid his hand from his hand to wipe the tears on his cheeks.

“Let’s go to your trailer, hm?” Haechan suggested with a half-smile on his lips.

Taeil nodded and took Donghyuck by the hand. The two walked to the trailer together.

Taeil opened his trailer and sat on the sofa. He patted the place next to him so Haechan would sit there and quickly held his hand as if he needed it for balance. With his other free hand, Haechan caressed Taeil’s hair.

“I-I fucked everything up again,” Taeil said, feeling tears streaming down his cheek again. “You’re right, Hyuckie, I just keep secrets and make everyone run away from me.”

“No, no, don’t say that,” Haechan shook his head and lowered his hand to again wipe Taeil’s tears. He lifted his chin with his fingertips and their eyes met. “You were protecting Yuta’s boyfriend.”

“Y-yeah, but I didn’t need to leave everyone else in the dark!” Taeil exclaimed, too angry at himself to watch his own tone. “I am the sole reason Yuta and Jungwoo can’t stop fighting, Joohyun won’t even speak to me, I’m surprised Yerim even looked at me... and then there’s you, the one I kept in the dark the most and for the longest,” his voice became mellower as he spoke, almost choking on his words. “Is it my karma you’re comforting me now so I’ll drown in guilt?”

Haechan, who watched Taeil’s confession while furrowing his eyebrows, pulled his hands from his touch, “If this is worsening your situation I can go—“

“No!” Taeil yelled, grabbing Haechan’s shirt with quick reflexes and keeping him on the couch. “No, Hyuckie, please stay,” he insisted, this time with a smoother tone.

He was on the verge of pleading. Haechan had been the best thing that had happened to him that entire day and he wouldn’t let him get away so easily. A hoodie could only hold and protect Taeil for a certain amount of time. Haechan’s care and sweet touches were too good for Taeil to let himself be won over by guilt.

He didn’t make any comment on it, simply putting an arm across Taeil’s shoulder and pulling him closer. Taeil’s hands swiftly went for his shoulders so he wouldn’t fall on Haechan’s chest.

“You’re getting better, Illie, you’re being honest and open... step by step, day by day,” he said, making sure to wipe the rest of humidity on Taeil’s cheeks. He had stopped crying the second Haechan suggested leaving.

“It takes too long,” Taeil complained with a sour taste in his mouth.

“It’s taken you so far,” Haechan replied, caressing Taeil’s hair as to give him some comfort. “You’re honestly much better than you were two years ago, that last conversation we had showed me this.”

His words seemed to light something inside Taeil. A ghost of a smile appeared in his lips and his hold onto Haechan’s shoulder became stronger.

“Really?” he asked, with bright eyes that warmed Haechan’s heart.

“I don’t usually lie,” Haechan said with a smirk.

Somehow that statement seemed to deflate Taeil visibly. Haechan couldn’t understand what he did wrong. “You really don’t,” Taeil agreed and Haechan could feel regret in his words. “I wish I were more like you.”

“You don’t,” Haechan answered in the bat of an eye. Taeil protested with a huff and a smile naturally spread through Haechan’s lips, even though it was short-lived. “I hold grudges and ugly feelings inside, you’re too pretty for that,” Haechan said, caressing Taeil’s apple cheek. He felt it warming against his palm.

“I’m ugly inside too, nothing but a liar,” Taeil said in shame, lowering his head and hiding it on the crook on Haechan’s neck.

“You don’t see the reason right now,” he concluded but didn’t insist any further. He let themselves fall into silence, a hand on Taeil’s hip still keeping him close to his body, Taeil trailing patterns on his chest... A few minutes went by in that complete peace till they heard a warning informing them they were about to close the set for the day in half-hour.

Before Taeil could say something, Haechan beat him to it.

“Wanna come to my apartment? I’ll cook for you so you can just rest, cry your eyes out and think better,” he suggested as Taeil detached himself from Haechan’s shoulder.

“Hyuckie...” he said with uncertainty. Haechan loved when Taeil called him by his name, with his lovely melodic voice, but he wished he did it for more cheerful reasons next time.

“Please, it’s the least I can do... I’m the person who gave Doyoung your connection to Jungwoo. I didn’t mean to but—“

Taeil didn’t let him continue, shushing him with a finger on top of his lips.

“Take me to your apartment,” he requested with a sweet smile.

Haechan took him by the hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [return to the next text au update by clicking here ](https://twitter.com/thegreatmoon94/status/1283881106996174848?s=21)


	15. fall apart, grow together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> taeil and haechan have an honest conversation

After eating pizza, watching some TV while cuddling and Taeil had drunk Haechan’s entire supply of coke, the two sat down and Taeil properly explained the entire situation with Jungwoo. Haechan had told him he didn’t have to, but Taeil wouldn’t hear him. Tired of lies and secrets, he wanted to be truthful with Haechan now that he could. The screenwriter nodded and Taeil began retelling the story.

Haechan didn’t speak much, there was not much he could offer for Taeil’s situation. He let him talk as much as he needed, caressing his back and nodding whenever his ex needed reassurance.

Tears eventually left Taeil’s eyes and Haechan wiped them, still careful not to interrupt him. When he was done, he jumped to the other’s shoulder, hugging him tight and nuzzling against his neck.

“Illie... you did your best,” Haechan said, combing his hair with his fingers. “You made some mistakes in the way, but it’s okay... Now you gotta give some time for Yuta and Jungwoo to figure themselves out and maybe try reaching out for Joohyun when you’re ready.”

Taeil nodded, head still pressed to his shoulder. Slowly he let Haechan go, looking a little at his behavior.

“Thank you for this,” he murmured while sniffing. His eyes laid on his own fidgeting hands.

“Don’t thank me, I got you in this mess...”

Taeil looked up, biting his bottom lip, before whispering, “You’re here now.”

Haechan got awkward at the sudden focus on him and coughed while scratching his head. “So, hm, what are we going to do with Jungwoo?”

Sighing, the actor laid his back against the sofa they were sitting, “Gonna hire him as my personal makeup artist... I’m still not rich enough to give him his previous salary but... I am getting there and I will recommend him to other people.”

“He’s not coming back, huh?” he asked, the little hope he had left leaving his body.

Haechan didn’t know Jungwoo, yet he was apparently friends with the two most important people in his life and Yuta’s boyfriend. A loss like that would make a difference on set.

“Doyoung is too powerful, Hyuckie... He only let us two date because he saw it as good press, remember?” Taeil replied while shaking his head, already defeated.

“Yeah...” Haechan agreed, head in the clouds. They were silent for a few moments and Taeil opened his mouth to add something, when Haechan suddenly blurted out, “I’m sorry for calling you a whore.”

Taeil didn’t say a thing, mouth shut and eyes wide at the sudden apology. Haechan gulped and saw that as a sign to go on.

“It was... plain wrong to do that... You weren’t a whore and, even if you were, I should know better than to use this word as some sort of offense... Never have I spread rumors around, _never_. Spitting that word to your face was a way for me to hurt you. I believed you had cheated on me and even though I was the one who broke it off, you had someone else’s arms to run to and I was alone,” he explained himself, yet never excused his behavior. He wanted Taeil to understand his reasons and perhaps forgive him, but not to be lenient to the point of forgetting what hurtful words Haechan had called him. He expected never to say anything of the kind ever again, but if he ever did, Taeil should leave him altogether. It meant he hadn’t learned. Haechan sighed before continuing, he couldn’t allow himself to be lost in his own thoughts, “Writing is already a very lonely path and then I sent my muse away and I felt groundless...”

He wasn’t sure what to expect from Taeil after that. Not harsh words, his boyfriend was more forgiving than he ever could be, but Taeil could be icy cold when he wanted and indifference would be a deep dagger to his heart. He would probably deserve it.

“I was too weak to break up with you,” Taeil confessed, taking Haechan by surprise. “I trusted blindly you never would and I counted the days for me to get that damn role thinking that if we got through that, we’d be alright in the end. I was so naive to think that it wouldn’t scar our relationship forever. I was naive telling you that story a week ago and expecting you to simply forgive me in the blink of an eye,” he said with a regretful tone in his voice.

“I truly wish you had just told me everything sooner...”

“Would you have understood?” Taeil asked, not inquisitive or accusatorial. He looked genuinely curious about Haechan’s reaction to it.

Haechan stopped for a moment. He didn’t have a problem with Jaehyun’s existence at first, never felt threatened by him. It only became a problem when rumors were too much and Taeil was acting cold.

“I wouldn’t like it, but I’d understand,” Haechan said with sincerity. “Illie, even if I always thought you to be better than any of those generic Marvel movies, I never wanted you to give up opportunities, never.”

He moved to engulf Taeil’s hand on his. Taeil’s hands were so small and chubby, Haechan adored how child-like they were.

“You slammed Marvel on accident then?” Taeil asked, again no judgment in his question.

“Nothing happens by coincidence,” Haechan replied, a sarcastic smirk on his lips. “Jaehyun wanted me to write a movie for them and I didn’t want to. They were insistent, said they’d even get you that part you were first denied for. I hate being threatened and, in that interview, when I was asked about Marvel looking for me to write for them yet again, I let it all out,” the words tasted sour to his mouth and he couldn’t help showing his disgust.

Taeil tilted his head and furrowed his eyebrows, but Haechan was happy he didn’t pull back his hand. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Haechan shrugged. “Didn’t wanna bother, to be honest. He kept calling and I kept saying no, it didn’t seem like that big of a deal, I say no to lots of people all the time and you yourself were trying a deal with them,” he caressed his thumb on Taeil’s hand when mentioning him. “Then Jaehyun crossed a line and I... lost any sense of my words. I wanted to tell you when I got back but you were cold towards me and I never had a chance...” he sighed just as he was done speaking. “It had nothing to do with you.”

Taeil finally let go of Haechan’s hand. A lump rose on Haechan’s throat almost immediately, he wanted to trap that hand to his. Taeil’s hand was the only thing keeping him sane at that moment but he also had to respect the other’s space. Taeil seemed to be slowly computing the information.

“So... I met Jaehyun because he wanted to meet you?” he concluded, voice cracking in the end. Haechan didn’t even have time to contest that by saying Jaehyun was interested in the two of them as a team, Taeil was already dropping his head to his hands, exasperated, “I feel so fucking stupid.”

“No, please don’t—“ Haechan approached him but was quickly interrupted.

“I ruined us just because I didn’t ask you why did you go full-on that rant!” he yelled in despair.

“You didn’t ruin anything,” Haechan said, this time louder and making Taeil look at him directly in the eyes.

“We shouldn’t be apart those two years, we should have been together!”

“Well, I disagree,” Haechan answered politely, in contrast to Taeil’s utterly shaken state.

“That’s because you don’t want to get back with me,” Taeil muttered with spite.

“That’s not the point, Illie,” Haechan said with kindness while taking Taeil’s hand on his once again. “We grew together, and then we grew apart. I had my movie, won my prizes, connected with a much darker writing than I’ve had ever since I met you. You had your Marvel movie, that musical you were lead and you also started modeling... We branched out on our own. We grew apart to grow together again,” he said, overwhelmed with his own thoughts. He didn’t even want to mention how important it was for them to break up for Taeil and Haechan to be recognized as their own artists, their own people who achieved things on their own. “Don’t you see that... even after all this the fact that we go towards each other just proves how strong our feelings are?”

“I just think that we could have had those memories together...” Taeil whined sadly.

It was true Haechan missed Taeil so much during those times, even if he wouldn’t admit it. The pain was excruciating and it seemed like a time before he met Taeil was impossible because after they had met everything had changed. Nonetheless, no matter how much he thought of calling or texting, he wouldn’t. He prayed Taeil wouldn’t do the same because he didn’t know how he would react to a text by Taeil asking him to get back. Thankfully, that text never happened.

“Maybe... We can’t know for sure,” Haechan said, intertwining their hands. “In the end, what’s left for us at this moment is to talk and not repeat our mistakes. We will communicate more, we won’t act behind each other’s back, we... will be better. We will grow from those mistakes.”

Taeil’s eyes shone with hope. “Grow together?”

“Yes,” Haechan whispered back, holding his hand tighter.

Taeil leaned closer, wetting his lips and letting his eyes fall on Haechan’s mouth. He was practically on Haechan’s lap now, one hand intertwined, the other on Haechan’s chest. His cheeks were red and puffy from crying, but his eyes were bright. He was centimeters away from Haechan, only one push and their lips would meet. Haechan breathed heavily, his eyes hypnotized by Taeil’s red lips.

It was only when Taeil came close enough to end the distance between them that Haechan turned his other cheek.

“No, Illie,” he said, as he felt a fluttering kiss on his cheek.

Taeil instantly tried getting away from Haechan’s hold, infuriated and hurt, “Ah you always do this, I’m always manipulated by you! Can you stop giving me false hope, please?”

Haechan kept a soft hold onto him, not enough to hurt him but only to keep him from running away. “Illie, I want this,” he assured him.

Taeil seemed calmer but still suspicious. He squinted his eyes. “Your actions don’t show that.”

Haechan gently started playing with Taeil’s hand. “I only want us to sleep on it first. You’ve had a rough day, you’re vulnerable... I want you to have a nice rest and by the morning, we will see...” he murmured with seriousness, but upon seeing Taeil’s pout, cracked a small smile. “Whenever I take care of you, you get so angry at me. I’m just being careful.”

Taeil opened his mouth to protest, but Haechan shushed him with a finger on his lips.

“Please, babe...” he begged, tired of fighting. Taeil turned his head spiteful and Haechan came closer to whisper in his ear, “We can still sleep on the same bed...”

Taeil didn’t seem so willing to give in but Haechan was patient. He kept assuring Taeil this was for the best and that they would still spend time together and also added Taeil still looked pretty even when upset at him. Slowly — and against his own will — Taeil gave in and they were soon cuddling on the sofa.

  
❂

It was late. Thankfully, neither of them had a schedule the next day. After watching some TV together, talking nonsense, and eating ice cream, they started preparing to bed.

While they watched TV, Taeil sometimes would trail his fingers too high on Haechan’s thigh, kissed his cheek too close to his mouth, and whispered a hot breath to Haechan’s ear. The writer knew what he was doing, but he was too weak to stop him. He let Taeil think he was charming him, only to stop him at the last possible second and they’d burst in giggles.

After the two were freshly showered — not without Taeil whining about showering together so they’d save more water first — Taeil walked around the room with his towel hanging low. His excuse was that Haechan hadn’t given him clean clothes and so Haechan quickly grabbed one of his big shirts and boxers to toss at Taeil’s direction.

Before he knew it, Taeil was dropping his towel to put on the clothes. Haechan instantly closed his eyes and Taeil laughed loudly at that scaredy-cat. He crawled on the bed, next to Haechan, who finally opened his eyes to engulf Taeil in his arms.

The two were quiet for a while, texting on their phones and checking everything that was happening in the world. Taeil locked his phone first and put it on the nightstand, Haechan followed his move.

He looked down and tenderly brushed his thumb through Taeil’s cheek. The room was dark, the only light coming from a lamp, but Haechan felt his thumb getting wet.

“Why are you crying, babe?” he asked with quiet concern.

Taeil seemed to be breathless and had a little difficulty uttering his words, “Just... the way you look at me so lovingly again... I’m sorry, I know it’s silly—“

“It isn’t,” Haechan interrupted him quickly only reassure him and that seemed enough for Taeil to speak more.

“I missed your soft gaze. It’s so endearing, loving,” he said, choked on his own melancholic words. “Please only look at me with those eyes, Hyuckie. If I ever fuck this up again... Close your eyes, ignore my existence, I don’t care. I won’t bear to see your cold eyes directed at me ever again,” he asked, crying more intensely and hiding his face on Haechan’s chest.

“Babe...” Haechan breathed out, caressing his hair and bringing him close. “I’m sorry I hurt you this much.”

“I deserved it,” he said, looking up at Haechan, who opened his mouth to disagree but was cut off. “You can’t control your eyes, Hyuckie, they are the windows of the soul. Words... can be controlled but not eye expression. That’s why it hurt me more than anything.”

Haechan kissed his forehead. “Let’s sleep, Illie, I don’t want to see you distressed.”

Taeil nodded and the writer turned off the lamp. He returned to his previous position, Taeil in his arms as he combed his hair with his fingers. The two were quiet, not sleeping but not saying their “goodnights”.

“What... what if I wake up and I don’t want...?” Taeil’s question cut through the darkness.

“Then I will move on,” Haechan answered with resignation.

“What if... _you_ don’t want...?”

“You’re so sleepy you’re starting to ask nonsense,” Haechan said between chuckles. He kissed his forehead one last time. “Goodnight, Illie.”

“Goodnight, Hyuckie,” Taeil murmured, nuzzling against his chest and falling fast asleep.

Tomorrow would be a better day.


	16. words of art

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a dive into the past

Taeil felt shivers down his spine as his number was called and he bid his goodbyes to his friends, following a woman to the next room. Yuta had said it was easy, commenting how sexy Johnny looked that day while Joohyun shrugged and grumbled something about TV people being less fun than theater people.

Taeil nodded as he listened to them but couldn’t help when a lump inadvertently grew in his throat while he walked down the hall to a simple white door. The woman opened it for him and rushed him inside, announcing his number loudly to the badly lit white room.

Audition rooms always had a sort of special lifelessness to them, but this one topped even the worst Taeil had ever seen. One of the lights didn’t work and he was pretty sure the cactus behind the table where the producers sat was dead. Incredible how it hadn’t survived on sad-aspiring-actors tears.

Taeil gulped as his eyes quickly scanned the room. There were three people sitting by the table. The assistant who brought him in whispered something in the ear of the person in the middle. Even though Taeil had only ever seen that person only once, his stature would never be mistaken.

That was Johnny Suh, the possible director of this project. He hadn’t talked much with him that night at the bar, Haechan taking all of his attention and Yuta being very keen on being the only person Johnny Suh talked to that night. Still, sometimes their conversations blended and they had their fun and laughed at jokes as Taeil placed his hand on Haechan’s thigh.

“Can you please state your name, age and part you’ll be trying for,” he said with his booming yet cheerful voice.

Taeil was bouncing on his feet. He cleared his throat before speaking, “Moon Taeil, born 1994, I will be trying out for the part of Max.”

They had gotten the script a few days before after Yuta sent an email to Johnny. Honestly, Taeil wasn’t expecting anything grand of it. Sure he wanted to check it out because Haechan had been the most interesting person he had met in a while and somehow he mesmerized Taeil, but he had met his fair share of script writers who thought they brought something new to the table. Newsflash: they usually didn’t.

However, just a few pages in, not only Taeil, but also Joohyun and Yuta were pleasantly surprised by the uncovered jewel they had in their hands. It could use some polishment, but it was a jewel nonetheless. Suddenly, trying out for this part had become one of the most important things Taeil could do for his career. On top of that, his heart was beating faster with the prospects of seeing Haechan again.

That night at the bar he had been a little too shameless. At first, Taeil flirted with him very lightly, truly wanting to hear more of Haechan and his work. It wasn’t his fault Haechan was so naturally sexy, making Taeil’s hand slip from his knee to his thigh. It got even more pathetic when Taeil put his thigh over Haechan’s thigh, but fortunately the scriptwriter didn’t seem to mind. He caressed Taeil’s thigh and brought him closer, making him almost sit on his lap, to whisper words filled with delightful sarcasm to his ear.

Standing in front of Haechan, this time much sober and nervous, Taeil tried to connect their gazes to wave at him or maybe wink. Despite his efforts, Haechan never looked at him, raising his eyebrows at Johnny instead. Taeil felt his stomach turning.

“Why Max?” Johnny asked, his attention focused on the actor.

“Jude seems to be too similar to me. I don’t know if I can properly act if we are too alike,” he said, playing with his hands and trying his hardest not to look at Haechan again — and failing. Apparently he wasn’t the kindest in his workplace environment and Taeil was starting to feel ashamed for flirting with him so bluntly.

Johnny opened his own script and redirected Taeil to a page so they could read a scene together. Taeil earned some laughs here and there, which boosted his confidence. It was hard for any laughs to be heard during auditions. Haechan took notes along with the third person, who Taeil thought was probably the casting director.

When they were done, Taeil looked up to Haechan for feedback. Although he appeared to be unfazed, he threw Taeil a script that the actor almost let fall to the ground. Luckily, he was quick to catch.

“Can you read this?” Haechan asked, looking at Taeil over his pair of round-rimmed glasses.

Frankly, Haechan looked gorgeous. He was wearing a purple shirt with his top buttons opened and his golden locks somehow illuminated the dead room. Yet, the warmth of his looks didn’t translate to his gaze or tone. Taeil nodded before taking a look at the script.

“This is for Jude,” he concluded by the illuminated lines.

“Yes,” Haechan replied as a matter of factly. He didn’t give Taeil any second to prepare, waving his hand for Johnny to start.

This time he seemed to earn even less laughter than before. The knot in his stomach seemed to be held tighter and Taeil almost fainted thinking neither Joohyun nor Yuta mentioned having to read for more than one character or Haechan’s coldness.

When he was done with his lines, he looked over to the table. Johnny shooted him some questions about career, what he thought of the script, but Taeil was so nervous he spoke very little and even so managed to stumble on his own words. The audition was over and he rushed out of the room, not daring to look back.

“No way in fucking hell I’m gonna let him be Max, he is Jude,” Haechan announced loudly the second Taeil closed the door behind him.

Taeil had done a mediocre presentation as Max but his Jude had left him awestruck. Everything in him screamed Jude, his natural charm, awkward smile, chill posture. Casting him in any other part would be committing sin.

“Makes it easier that you wrote the character based on him,” Johnny commented, poison dripping from his tongue. Haechan was amazed that that snake hadn’t poisoned himself yet with the amount of times he had implied Haechan wrote Jude based on Taeil.

Sure there were some inspirations, Taeil was someone very addicting to talk to. His reactions were always surprising and he had a strong personality even if he conveyed it softly. His  
emotions were one of the most complexes and paradoxicals Haechan had dealt with. Writing a character such as him was a challenge and one that Haechan had taken with eagerness. Still, there were only some similarities: Jude and Taeil definitely weren’t the same.

However that didn’t stop a warm feeling of pleasure settling in his belly, when Taeil first disclosed that he felt Jude was too similar to himself. The model recognized the sculpture made to its liking even without being told of it. That fact only assured Haechan he had done a great job reading Taeil and fitting him on paper.

“We just had random conversations on a bar, for fuck’s sake, no big deal,” he retorted angrily.

He was lying. It wasn’t a mere conversation, there was no word in the dictionary for his first experience with Taeil. In only one night, he was very entranced by him. It wasn’t only about his performance and his artistry as an actor, but Taeil’s charisma pulled Haechan who saw himself almost dragging him to his lap and murmuring things more than indecent for a first meeting.

Of course that horrible habit of taking his clothes off when drunk had struck him after the third glass and he unbuttoned his shirt only for Taeil to start caressing his chest under it. God bless his nervous brain for reminding Haechan he had a boyfriend he loved waiting at home or he may have done things he’d regret.

Taeil was a hazard in his life, better keep him away. It’d be the safest way to go. Unfortunately, he was too great a talent for Haechan to give up. If Haechan didn’t cast him, he’d forever regret it.

“But you _need_ him as Jude,” Johnny echoed his words with a sarcastic smile on his lips.

Haechan pressed his fingers against his temples in an attempt not to tell his friend to go to hell.

“You saw what I saw, Johnny,” he sighed and Johnny’s silence was the best indicative of victory he had. “Besides, Yuta would be a great Max and we should be able to adapt Irene’s character to Joohyun’s quirks. They have natural chemistry and it will be good to have some fresh faces.”

Johnny nodded in agreement. The casting director, a very quiet woman who was there to veto people the studio wouldn’t like simply shrugged. Haechan smirked victoriously. “Studio 127”’s main trio was formed.

❂

Taeil walked down a very well illuminated hall next to Yuta. He was smiling and nodding his head to talk to his friend. Then a yell burst his bubble.

“No, no, you gotta walk towards the camera _then_ turn around to talk to Yuta,” Haechan said without the need of a speaker.

Taeil and Yuta stopped at their places. Taeil looked down in shame, not wanting to meet the gazes of anyone on set.

“Sorry,” he murmured the loudest he could. He hated that because of his stupid mistake, everyone would have to reshoot that scene. Taeil was making the process longer than he should be, he wouldn’t blame the crew if they hated on him for being a stupid rookie actor.

It was their first week of filming and it hadn’t gone as swiftly as one might imagine. He didn’t know how to act with a camera or the technicalities of filming a TV show. Johnny sometimes tried to lead him through it and he was a great teacher, but other times Haechan’s bossy stern voice cut through his lessons to criticize Taeil, drop a sarcasm-filled commentary on how he could be better or simply sigh loudly. Taeil had started to shake at the sound of his voice.

He returned to the other end of the hall, Yuta by his side, and the cameras also set themselves on their previous places. This time Taeil followed the queues correctly. He delivered the dialogue while walking directly to the camera and only turned to talk to Jude when they were at the end of it.

The scene was done, they looked at Johnny for approval. Haechan spoke before him.

“Good. Try doing it while acting,” he recommended, only irony sensed in his tone.

“I…” Taeil tried answering him but a lump appeared on his throat, swallowing any word he had in his mind. His eyes became teary. “Fuck,” he cursed, feeling a tear stream down his cheek.

Before everyone could see him crumble, Taeil ran from the lights. The set was silent for a few seconds before Johnny yelled for a fifteen, no better make it twenty, minute break.

He turned to Haechan, who wrote things down on his notebook, ignoring the world outside. Damn scriptwriters.

Johnny closed his notebook and Haechan seemed ready to argue but something in Johnny’s eyes stole his words. Good. Johnny could scold him freely now.

“God, Hae you could go easy on him. I’m the director and it’s his first time being on camera. Theater is different from movies, you know that,” he said with furrowed eyebrows.

“It is never my intention to be harsh,” Haechan excused himself, making a move to open his notebook but Johnny closed it again. Haechan seemed to be getting angry, but he wasn’t the only one.

“Fuck intentions. Sure, you’re usually blunt to people, it’s way past that when it’s about Taeil. I don’t know if that’s your way to mask your crush or whatever the fuck you feel for him, but quit it, he’s our lead actor,” he said with authority.

Haechan might have more talent with words and Johnny hardly knew any word to express anger other than “fuck” but at least it was effective. Haechan looked outraged and slightly offended.

“I don’t have a crush on him, I have a boyfriend, mind you. I just think Taeil is an amazing actor, he has a lot of raw talent,” he replied with spite.

Johnny held Haechan’s arms and looked deep into his eyes. His next advice came very softly, “Then show this admiration instead of hiding yourself behind your sharp comments.”

At first Taeil didn’t want to talk about his feelings in their new workspace. He was more quiet but it was only because he was more nervous, Joohyun and Yuta shouldn’t worry. His fidgeting was only anxiety for this new project! Haechan’s criticism was more than welcome for him to become a better actor! Joohyun and Yuta nodded, worried but believing Taeil’s words.

All that went downhill when Taeil ran from the set crying. His friends were following him, Joohyun having reached him first and therefore the one chosen for him to crash on her shoulder sobbing. In the end she would have been the best choice.

Yuta wasn’t exactly the best leading with tears most of the time. He was so worried about everyone being happy at every single moment that times of sadness caused him to be uncomfortable. For that reason, Taeil loved crying with him. He’d wipe his tears faster only to put Yuta at ease.

However, there were times in which he bottled things for too long and he needed to let them go. Joohyun was perfect for that job, embracing Taeil and letting him wet her costume or whatever else she was wearing.

When he was finally done crying, Yuta was next to him with a cup of water for his hiccups. While he drank water, they walked to Taeil’s trailer.

“I-I don’t understand!” he blurted out the second they got in, a few more tears falling. Taeil threw himself on the couch. “He was so sweet to me at the bar, we were even flirting… Not in a creepy way, just felt natural. It was so good simply talking to him, we matched wits and there was a connection there, I think? Then on the audition he doesn’t even look or directs a word at me, he doesn’t waste his breath at my direction on the first table read. And now I’m the one he openly criticizes every shooting day,” he finished his rant in pure desperation, curling himself on the sofa.

“Haechan is a dick,” Joohyun concluded after an awkward silence. Yuta laughed but Taeil was still too sad for that.

“Why does he hate me?” he mumbled to himself.

Yuta finally chipped in. “I don’t think he hates you, Moontie, he is just new at this too and you’re the main character… Maybe he is being one of those boys that picks on a girl because he likes her.”

Joohyun raised an eyebrow, looking skeptic, “Isn’t that narrative an excuse for toxic masculinity?”

Yuta suddenly turned defensive, “I’m not saying it’s okay! Jesus, Joochu! You know I don’t think that’s okay…”

That somehow earned a chuckle from Taeil. Joohyun looked at him softly and combed his hair with her fingers.

“Haechan is one of those over-the-top teachers that instead of showering his best student with compliments, asks even more of said-student,” Joohyun explained calmly.

Taeil lost his smile immediately. “Well, I think he hates me,” he said with resolution.

Yuta shook his head and came so close, Joohyun couldn’t possibly hear what he whispered to Taeil’s ear. “If you saw the way he looked at you when you’re acting, you wouldn’t think that.”

Taeil looked at him puzzled. Haechan never spared him a glance, it was impossible to exist something more there.

❂

A week went by in which Taeil didn’t see Haechan. In reality, no one had seen him. Johnny excused his absence saying he was writing the rest of the season episodes and that seemed only fair. It was far too much work and even though he had hired staff writers, the head writer was always overworked.

Taeil was walking around the set to get some food for himself while Joohyun and Yuta discussed a scene with Johnny, when a voice startled him.

“Hm, Taeil,” said Haechan and Taeil felt shivers running down his spine.

He was afraid to turn around and meet that cold, unaffected gaze. Maybe he’d earn another sarcastic commentary on his acting. Perhaps Haechan would finally confess how utterly disappointing he was as a male lead.

Taeil took a deep breath and turned around. “Yeah?” he asked, not wanting to say much or his voice might fail him.

Haechan didn’t look particularly snoby that day. It seemed like he hadn’t even properly dressed for the studio, wearing a big purple hoodie instead of the usual buttoned up shirt. Most of all, his eyes looked at Taeil round and bright.

“On this scene,” he pointed to some lines in the script he was carrying, Taeil approached him so he could read it, “try to speak a little faster. It’ll sound funnier when Joohyun says her sentence very slowly.”

Taeil blinked. Did Haechan just give him advice?

“Oh, okay, got it,” he responded, thirty seconds later. Haechan had already turned around and was making his way through the corridor, but he waved his hand to signal he had heard what Taeil just said.

Johnny laughed loudly as they wrapped the scene. “Yeah, that’s good,” he complimented, clapping before lowering his headphones.

Yuta ran to him, just so he could be certified the scene went well. Joohyun went to talk to Seulgi and Wendy, their co-stars.

Taeil walked down the sets of the scenario and found Haechan sitting on a chair, scrapping something angrily in his notebook. He had never interrupted him when writing, but couldn’t help himself.

“Thanks for the advice, Haechan,” he said with a shy half-smile. His acting might not have added laughs to his own performance but Joohyun’s line, that seemed quite normal before, made everyone burst laughing. Taeil had just learned that in a comedy series it was important not only to make himself funny, but others funnier as well.

Haechan seemed a little bewildered and looked up with unfocused eyes through his lens until he seemed to understand what Taeil had spoken to him and smirked. His smirk wasn’t a cocky one that would make Taeil roll his eyes. Instead, it was a pleased grin, with soft edges and the words that came accompanied to it melted Taeil’s heart.

“Anytime.”

❂

Maybe Taeil should have known that a writer would keep it to his words. Words were, after all, everything they believed in and they had to make it right by them. Haechan, most of all, was someone brutally honest. Taeil had felt that on his own skin. So when he said anytime, he truly meant it.

Haechan stopped him on the hallway to give him a quick commentary on pronunciation and characterization, he interrupted a scene from filming only to pull Taeil to the side and tell him how he had pictured that scene, he explained how improvisation worked and why Taeil should try that more. The best part of it all was that he did all of this in the kindest tone, gentlest manner he could possibly deliver.

Little by little, Taeil wasn’t afraid of Haechan anymore. He didn’t tremble at the sound of his voice or hid when he saw him on the other side of the studio. In fact, more than a few times he was the one who looked for Haechan for their conversations.

“So, Jude is angry at Max because he couldn’t express his feelings?” Taeil asked, feet on the coffee table of Haechan and Johnny’s office. He had made himself comfortable really fast.

“Yeah, Jude gotta understand no one shows their feelings the same way but it’s good to talk about it so more can be understood of each other,” Haechan explained, going down on points they had gone through before.

He really helped Taeil understand all the references and meta-jokes he put on the show, but Haechan was especially precious when talking about his characters. Perhaps he didn’t even know it but whenever Taeil made a question he was lost in thought for a few moments only to rant in detail about a certain aspect of those creatures of his creation. He shared the randomest of facts, the funniest of anecdotes and everything Haechan had ever told Taeil made a difference for him when shooting a scene.

It only took a few meetings and conversations like these for them to become Taeil’s favorite part of coming to set. He was positive Haechan looked eager for those as well, sometimes being the one who knocked on his trailer door to see if Taeil had any questions about the script and eyes shining whenever Taeil opened his mouth for a question.

“Wow, that sounds mature,” Taeil concluded, awestruck.

Haechan looked like he was trying to contain a confident smile but gave up midway. “I heard the writer is great.”

“Cocky too,” Taeil added with raised eyebrows.

Haechan shrugged, “Gotta be proud of what he does.”

“But not overly confident!” he exclaimed, making Haechan chuckle. His laugh energized Taeil.

“The actors help him keep his feet on earth,” Haechan concluded, touching Taeil’s hand for a few seconds.

A slightly awkward silence settled between the two. Taeil’s hand was tingling where Haechan had touched it.

Taeil broke the quietness by getting up from the couch they were in. “Thanks for the tips, Haechan, they really help me understand Jude better and how he is more lovingly on the outside and that’s why he clashes with Max so much,” he said loudly, but saw the need to add further. “And I guess… Max’s way isn’t completely wrong. He just speaks in a different language than with words…” he trailed off. Noticing he was lost in thoughts and that would generate another awkward moment, Taeil stopped himself. “Well, thanks!”

“Anytime,” Haechan said in his signature sentence as he raised two finger from his forehead as a goodbye.

Taeil nodded and continued walking towards the door. He was touching the doorknob when Haechan’s voice stopped him.

“Taeil,” he called for him in a sober tone. Taeil turned around to find Haechan standing up, a few feet away from him. “You’re doing a fine job bringing Jude to life,” he said, not breaking the gaze between them.

It was the first time he had complimented Taeil.

“Thank you,” Taeil replied, slightly shocked, and was quick to exit the room. He closed the door behind him and placed a hand in his chest. His heart was beating faster than ever.

❂

Taeil was walking towards his trailer for his break but Haechan took longer steps to intercept him. His golden locks were the first thing Taeil had seen and felt butterflies flying around his stomach. Taeil tried to look bothered with the interception, crossing his arms and raising one eyebrow, but it was hard when Haechan had that annoyingly charming grin on his lips. A sun under the sun.

“Have you ever fired a BB gun?” the scriptwriter asked, looking more than eager for Taeil’s response.

“No! I’m a city boy, I don’t engage in violence,” he said in a snobbish as-matter-of-fact tone.

The closer he had ever gotten to a weapon was a kitchen knife and he’d gladly keep it like that. Haechan didn’t seem to agree. His smile curled up even further.

“Well, you gotta try now, our next episode will be a little wild and Jude will be holding a gun,” he informed him just before taking a step closer to Taeil. They were only centimeters apart when he asked very seriously, “Can you hold a gun?”

Taeil’s eyes had accidentally dropped to Haechan’s lips. Noticing his mistake, he tried to correct it by shoving Haechan away.

“Shut up—“

“You can’t!” Haechan laughed gleefully, pointing his finger in accusation.

“I totally can!” Taeil shot back, a little more enthusiastically than he had intended for.

Haechan bit his bottom lip. “Show me,” he dared Taeil just as he picked something on the waist of his pants and put it on Taeil’s hand. Their fingers touched for a few seconds before Haechan pulled his hand away. “Got this on props.”

It was a gun. A small props gun, but a gun nonetheless. Taeil stared at the foreign object wide-eyed.

“You are setting me up,” he concluded, trying to ignore the cold piece of metal on his hands.

“Show me how you do it,” Haechan challenged him with a large hand gesture as if saying “suit yourself”.

Taeil was infuriated by his confident attitude and grabbed the weapon, pointing it straight to Haechan’s head. Haechan stared at him wide eyed for a second, only to pull Taeil closer and engulf his hand on his own.

Taeil’s heart was almost jumping out his throat but he couldn’t bear looking away from Haechan’s eyes. If only Haechan pulled him closer, perhaps they would kiss.

“God, you’re terrible, let me show you,” Haechan snickered while shaking his head. Just like that the spell was broken, or at least Taeil thought. Haechan pulled him closer but to properly guide him on how to handle a weapon. One of Haechan’s hands was on his waist, for him to keep balance most certainly. “Like this, only two fingers here and you can push and…”

Taeil was following his instructions the best he could, ignoring the warmth in his belly and how his fingers were far too tingly to be holding a gun, even if it was a props one. Haechan, however, seemed very dedicated on making Taeil understand. His grip on Taeil’s waist and hand was strong and came closer to help Taeil find somewhere to “shoot”.

Just as he was to announce the target on Taeil’s ear, a voice from the other end of the trailer parking lot yelled loudly, “Hyuck?”

Haechan dropped Taeil fast and Taeil took a step away, putting a hand above his eyes so he could properly see the figure who walked in their direction. He was small, slender and Taeil was pretty certain he had seen him in the latest supporting actors nominees list.

“Is that… Huang Renjun?” he asked Haechan in excitement.

The scriptwriter turned his head to Taeil, completely speechless just a second before Renjun yelled “Hyuck!” again. This time he waved his hand and started walking faster.

Taeil furrowed his eyebrows. “Who is Hyuck?” he asked Haechan.

This time it looked like he’d come up with a proper answer but it was too late, Renjun had finally come too close to them. He threw himself to Haechan’s arms and stole a big wet kiss from his lips that left Taeil feeling more than awkward.

It was time for him to excuse himself. Haechan, or, better saying, Hyuck was too busy for him after all.

❂

“God, how pathetic I was flirting with a guy who not only couldn’t give two shits about me but has a boyfriend,” Taeil muttered to his friends in the makeup room.

Joohyun was getting her hair done by this sweet hairdresser called Yerim as they were to get into scene soon. Yuta had the last bits of his makeup applied. Taeil was the only one who was there willingly, but in reality he was running away from Haechan.

Ever since Taeil had seen Renjun sucking the life out Haechan’s mouth, the screenwriter had looked for him in the studio. It had been almost a week already but Taeil was quick hiding from him behind the large scenario or finding people to fit mid conversation.

In reality, he knew everything Haechan might say to him. He had googled “Renjun and boyfriend” the moment he left the two on the trailer parking lot. According to the news sites, Renjun was dating Haechan for four years already, even before he started being this big shot of an actor. The two were a fairly private and sweet couple that often visited each other on their filming sets.

There was no reason for Haechan to explain anything or see a need in talking about Renjun. Taeil planned on avoiding him until the subject was forgotten and they could return to their friendly but mainly professional relationship.

“You were flirting with a pretentious screenwriter, that’s already ridiculous,” Joohyun said, earning some chuckles from Yerim. The hairstylist held her laughter with her hand but Joohyun seemed pleased she had made someone laugh.

“At least he isn’t straight like Johnny…” Yuta whined.

“Nayu, you can do so much better than Johnny,” Joohyun said, this time more caring than before. Yuta hadn’t taken it easy ever since he finally figured out Johnny’s sexuality and his two friends tried to tread lightly when it came to that issue.

“Doubt it, Johnny is perfect…” Yuta sighed, but changed the subject. “What will you do about Hae?”

Taeil felt all eyes on him suddenly. Even Yerim and Yuta’s make-up artist were waiting for a response. Even though he was feeling embarrassed, he had to keep it cool.

“Act normal! We are friendly now, you know? He helps me with my acting and we are work buddies,” he spoke nonchalantly, believing every word he said. “There’s no reason to make anything awkward.”

❂

Haechan stopped chasing after Taeil and they only ever had conversations about the script and the show. It was harder than Taeil had originally thought. It merely took one moment to lower his guard for them to be talking about what they thought of other sitcoms, share their dreams for the future and childhood anecdotes.

Taeil then decided that it was fine if they were friends. Even if he died of jealousy inside whenever Renjun visited them on set, he was an abnormally jealous person in general, so it didn’t mean anything. Haechan was someone funny to be around and it was coming to a point that Taeil couldn’t imagine a day for him on set without playfully teasing him or listening to his advice.

“Hm, aren’t you curious about Renjun?” Haechan asked one day, back to the trailer.

Renjun had just knocked on Taeil’s trailer to steal a kiss from Haechan. He’d be returning to his own set the next second. Taeil nodded awkwardly at Renjun’s explanation and called for Haechan to come kiss his boyfriend. They didn’t have to do it in front of Taeil but that didn’t stop them. Taeil was left bouncing on his feet, interested in everything that wasn’t Haechan exchanging saliva with Renjun.

His stomach boiled with an ugly feeling and his heart started beating faster, but luckily the kiss was over before Taeil felt anything stronger. Renjun waved them goodbye and Haechan and Taeil returned to the back of the trailer, comfortably laying on the bed.

Haechan laid his head on Taeil’s belly as he asked. The ugly green feeling inside Taeil’s tummy was weaker, but not entirely gone.

“Hm?” he hummed to feign confusion and the conversation to be dropped. It didn’t work.

“My boyfriend,” Haechan said more explicitly.

Taeil almost rolled his eyes. His boyfriend? Really? Took a genius to figure that out from the many times he’s seen Renjun and Haechan almost hooking up outside a bedroom.

Taeil shrugged. Playing it cool was the best option. “Oh, I mean… You never mentioned him before.”

In fact Taeil was pretty certain Haechan was single. He apparently dated Renjun for years now, why did he give in to Taeil’s advances that night at the bar? Had he truly flirted back or was Taeil spiraling into insanity?

“It never came up,” Haechan said quickly, almost apologetic. “He’s an actor and he’s very interested in your work,” he added with a bright smile

Taeil was more confused than before. “Why would _Huang Renjun_ be interested in my work?”

Haechan lost his smile. “You’re on the path for success.”

Taeil sighed, feeling disappointed by that explanation. Haechan must have noticed it wasn’t what Taeil wanted to hear, he raised his head from his belly and came closer to the actor.

“And… hm… I’ve told him about you and how you hm, inspire me, I guess,” he confided, scratching his head and looking at Taeil’s face but not at his eyes.

“I inspire you?” Taeil echoed his words in a question. He had understood them the first time but he was still delightfully shocked and wanted to be sure he had heard them correctly.

Haechan gave up from looking at Taeil entirely. His eyes darted through the small room as he scratched the back of his head. “I guess… Johnny suggested that when he noticed how similar you and Jude are in some aspects,” he revealed only for Taeil’s eyes to shine brighter.

There was no more green monster swirling in his belly and whispering horrible things to his ear anymore. Instead something bright and warm had grown there, something that was fed by the sun himself and followed his words. A sunflower flourished inside Taeil.

He wanted to lay on Haechan’s belly now, as he discussed all sorts of things about Jude, if Haechan often had other inspirations to his work… Taeil couldn’t overwhelm the poor thing however. Haechan seemed to be in a very awkward position, so Taeil decided to not ask about Jude — for that moment, at least.

“Is Max inspired by someone?” he questioned instead. That seemed to clean the cloud of unpleasantry on Haechan’s expression and he dared to smirk again.

“Not that I know of… Maybe he is the boyfriend you deserve to have in my imagination,” he said while chuckling.

The boyfriend Taeil deserved in Haechan’s imagination… Maybe the green monster hadn’t been completely slayed yet.

  
❂

Haechan was making the last adjustments to the script. Doyoung had gotten on his ass over not making a joke about priests being sexual harassers and seemed to be even more angry when Haechan suggested changing priests to Hollywood executives. The only reason why he left that meeting room alive was because his newest secretary, Mark Lee, had said that “S-sir Doyoung won’t hear any other word in the meeting if you don’t bring a new script.” Doyoung looked pleased, Johnny now wanted Haechan to keep that joke in the show more than ever and Haechan wanted a break from all of it.

He was missing his pen, probably had lent it to Johnny as they entered the meeting. Haechan opened his door and stumbled on Taeil who was walking with his head low.

Haechan was about to say sorry when he noticed Taeil’s wet cheeks and his pale face. He held him by the hand and dragged the actor to his office.

“Taeil? Everything okay?” he asked, trying to take a better look at Taeil’s face by lifting his chin.

Taeil shook his head. “Nothing, nothing,” he said but his voice was weak, letting it clear he had just cried.

Haechan held him by his hand and pulled him to the couch. He placed one arm around Taeil’s shoulders to offer him support.

“Tell me,” he said quietly.

Taeil, who had allowed for Haechan to manhandle him like a doll to that office and now that couch, looked up to find his warm eyes staring back at him. He finally allowed himself to crash, leaning on Haechan’s body.

“I was just reminiscing about an old review ‘Spring Awakening’ had. I thought it wasn’t so bad and I decided to read it again… They said that ‘if there is something as overact, there’s certainly underact and that’s Moon Taeil’s doing’,” he confided, crying as he reminisced those words. Haechan pulled him closer to his body. “I-I guess I just wanted to see if it was as bad as I remember and—“ he lost his words suddenly and sunk on Haechan’s shoulder, crying copiously.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Haechan repeated that phrase as Taeil cried on his blazer. He caressed his hair, trying to calm him.

After a few minutes, Taeil’s tears finally seemed to have dried and he pulled away from Haechan’s shoulder.

“I’m going to receive more of these when the series starts streaming,” he said, declaring his own doom.

“Maybe,” Haechan replied. He didn’t wish to lie to Taeil or make empty promises, but he deeply wished he wouldn’t expect those reviews. “You’re a better actor than when you first came to this set, you’re certainly a better actor than at ‘Spring Awakening’s’ opening night.”

“I am not funny,” Taeil whined and more tears left his eyes.

Haechan shook his head. This time he confidently raised Taeil’s chin and smiled at him sweetly. “That’s what you think, you’re too busy being funny to see people laughing at every single thing you say.”

“Ah, Haechanie,” Taeil cooed and again crashed on his shoulder. This time he pulled Haechan closer.

“Look, these words are important to hear. Either you will grow as an actor from them or you will grow a thick skin,” he advised wisely.

God knew how much a bad review could completely destroy him, but good criticism was even better than a good work of art. Much could be learned through it and that was what he did.

Taeil pulled away again. This time the tears seemed to have dried for good and he wiped what was left of them with his own fingers. “I can never grow a thick skin,” he complained in pout.

Haechan grabbed Taeil’s hands. “I’ll be your thick skin then,” he blurted out. That sort of cliche garbage was what made him roll his eyes when revising a script but he couldn’t help it when Taeil looked into his eyes teary and innocent. “Please ignore those words from years ago, you’ve done wonderful here on set, you’ve grown. If you shed tears, let it be for something from now.”

Taeil chuckled and the sound warmed Haechan’s belly.

“You want to be the reason for my tears then,” he teased.

Haechan approached him to wipe one last forgotten droplet on his cheek with his thumb.

“Only if I’m there to wipe them,” he whispered before he kissed Taeil’s forehead.

❂

After shooting an episode, it was common for cast and crew to go out to a bar ro have a few drinks, commemorate and socialize. It was a good way for the barrier between artists and crew to be broken.

That was how Taeil found out Yerim and Haechan were friends — he tried recalling if he had ever said anything about Hae in the makeup room but was pretty certain he didn’t — and also how they became friends with people that held various different jobs. Obviously not everyone wanted to come, many had families, some were tired and so on.

When Taeil knocked on Haechan’s office door to remind him he owed Taeil some drinks from last time, Haechan looked at him apologetically. Uh-oh. Apparently he couldn’t make it for drinks that night, he had a date with Renjun.

Taeil nodded as the green monster roared inside his tummy. He wished for dinner to go great and to send his regards to Renjun. Haechan mocked him for the “send his regards” message (“what are you? Eighty?) but thanked Taeil and said he hoped Taeil would have fun out that night.

Taeil was almost out the door when he stopped to add, “Yeah, who knows? Maybe tonight I’ll find my Max.”

His imagination might be playing tricks on him, but he could have sworn that Haechan’s eyes became darker. The door closed behind him and so was that interaction.

Later, at the bar, the only ones left were Yuta, Joohyun and himself. Taeil was pleased, he missed being alone with his friends.

“Renjun is visiting tomorrow for what Johnny told me,” Yuta said with lots of insinuation in his voice. Suddenly Taeil didn’t miss his friends that much.

“And?” Taeil asked, feigning boredom as he played with the straw in his drink.

“Well, just so you don’t make a fool of yourself.”

Joohyun held back laughter and Taeil felt his cheeks warming. “I admire Renjun as an actor—“

“You just want him away from Haechan!” Yuta interrupted loudly, leaving Taeil outraged and slamming the table.

“I don’t know what you mean!”

Before Yuta could annoy Taeil so much that the only viable answer was murder, Joohyun barged in. “Just admit it, Moontie,” she spoke softly, eyeing Taeil with understanding. “You have a thing for Haechan and you’re jealous of them two.”

“I know I have a thing for Haechan, I told you I was flirting with him,” he said while taking a sip from his drink.

Joohyun tsked with playful disapproval. “More than that,” she insisted.

They had been playing cat and mouse for far too long. Taeil sometimes sighed about how Haechan was this enchanting person and Joohyun and Yuta would instantly exchange glances. Haechan touched Taeil’s lower back and soon Yuta was murmuring about “how hot was the studio these days?” Taeil’s eyes widened at the sight of Renjun and Joohyun was dragging him out of the room.

They implied, they suggested, they even asked Taeil more directly what the hell was going on, but Taeil refused to speak. If he didn’t say it out loud it wasn’t real.

That night however, he was drunk and he couldn't help thinking about the wonderful date Renjun and Haechan were having right before they returned home and Haechan fucked Renjun between kisses and moans. Joohyun and Yuta had been smart enough to inquire about Haechan then, he broke in a few minutes.

“Is it that obvious?” Taeil asked, feeling overly self aware.

“I knew it!” Yuta celebrated it with a fist in the air. The bartender looked at him with a frown.

Joohyun rolled her eyes. “God, it’s so you to fall for the pretentious screenwriter,” she said, but had a sweet smile on her lips. She looked genuinely happy. Taeil knew that wherever he went, Joohyun would be by his side.

Even with her warm reaction, Taeil was still feeling down for finally having turned this stupid silly crush into a reality. “Haechanie is just… he is really good to me and the way he looks at me… I wish I saw myself through those eyes,” he said, cheeks warming and a lump in his throat forming. “This is ludicrous, isn’t it? Renjun and he are perfect together,” he sighed.

Yuta raised an eyebrow. “Hm, not what my sources tell me,” he said mysteriously.

“What did Johnny tell you?” Taeil inquired immediately. He was a thirsty dog, eager for any droplet of water that’d keep him alive for a moment longer.

“He wouldn’t say much, only that Renjun and Haechan are trying to keep a rusty ship sailing. He doesn’t know if it’ll sink or somehow the waters will heal them.”

❂

The next day Renjun had come to set and kissed the life out of Haechan in front of everyone. Taeil was in the middle of a scene but completely lost track of his lines at the sight of that atrocity.

Johnny seemed to understand everyone needed a break and granted them a fifteen minute pause to eat something so they could return more focused. Taeil was walking down the trailer area when he accidentally met with Haechan and Renjun making out. He almost turned his feet to leave them be, but heard Renjun saying a loud “goodbye, Hyuckie!” and decided against it.

He continued walking to his trailer but Haechan intercepted him. Before he could say a thing, Taeil accidentally spoke first.

“Why does he call you Hyuck?” he let it slip.

He was so embarrassed he simply walked into his trailer. Haechan followed him and they made their way to Taeil’s bed.

“Oh, that’s my real name,” he said, behind him. Just as they laid on the bed, legs intertwined, he disclosed his full name. “Lee Donghyuck.”

Taeil liked that name. It fit Haechan, though an unmapped side of Haechan, one that was completely different from the artist. Still, it was the name Renjun called for him and that alone was enough for Taeil to be spiteful.

“Haechan fits you better, it’s smoother on the tongue,” he declared stubbornly.

Haechan crawled closer to him on the bed. His eyes were shining with mischief. “Am I smooth on the tongue?”

“You’re a writer, you have to be,” Taeil replied knowingly.

Haechan didn’t seem satisfied with his answer. He approached Taeil even further and the next time he spoke, it was nothing but a whisper. “But am I smooth on _your_ tongue?”

Taeil licked his lips instantly and observed as Haechan mirrored his move. “I gotta have a taste to find out,” he murmured.

Taeil expected Haechan to do something or at least say something. His heart beat faster in his chest and he only wanted the gap between his lips to be sealed.

Haechan seemed to have finally understood the position they were in by the look of his wide eyes. The bells of the set rang, indicating the end of the break and they rushed outside, without a word of what just happened being said.

❂

The open air was windy but Haechan still fought against his will to return to the studio and grab a coat. He was pursuing Taeil and the actor wouldn’t exactly wait around for him to go there.

“Taeil!” Haechan yelled to make him stop but Taeil continued walking. “Taeil!” he repeated and this time he was almost certain the actor was walking faster.

Haechan decided to play that game and started running against the wind. He intercepted Taeil in front of his car, looking smug. Taeil rolled his eyes and crossed his arms.

“Ah, Taeil, why are you running away from me?” he questioned with a raised eyebrow.

“I’m sorry, didn’t know you were looking for me,” Taeil said but didn’t look that guilty. Haechan sucked his bottom lip while analyzing him. Taeil looked bothered and impatient. “So?”

“Just wanted to check how you are,” Haechan replied with an easy going smile.

“You ran after me for this?” Taeil asked, sounding skeptical.

“We haven’t talked much on set lately,” Haechan pointed out.

The last conversation Haechan had in private with Taeil was… well, that dialogue they had on his trailer about his real name. Somehow, after that, Taeil got too busy on set for him. He asked Johnny for help on the scenes, always walked around accompanied by Joohyun or Yuta, didn’t show up on the latest cast and crew gathering claiming he had to sleep early.

Haechan felt empty. Taeil was a vital part of his day, there was so much he wanted to share, but somehow their schedules never matched. He’d make them match now.

“Oh, Renjun always pays a visit so I figured you were busy,” he answered with a cynical smile.

“I can talk to more than two people at once,” Haechan argued and this time Taeil shrugged. The writer pointed his finger up, finally having cracked the code. “So you _are_ ignoring me, huh?”

Taeil rolled his eyes and huffed. “Took a genius writer to figure it out,” he mumbled, pushing Haechan away so he could get to his car.

“I don’t recall being rude to you lately—“

“Just drop it, Haechan,” Taeil cut him off, annoyed. He opened the door for his car and hopped inside it but Haechan wouldn’t let him close it.

“I won’t.”

“Don’t make our relationship as unbearable as in my first month on set,” Taeil said, pushing him away and finally closing the door. He drove away, leaving Haechan in the parking lot.

❂

Haechan should know better than to trust Yerim with his hair. He liked the golden dye and his curls, but Yerim insisted she’d give new life to it. Haechan had that hair for the longest time and changing was good.

They were quiet as she did her job. Taeil suddenly came into the makeup room. At the sight of Haechan, he grabbed a random lipstick on the table and stormed off. Haechan watched his back as he went away.

“Taeil is so weird,” he commented.

“Hm,” Yerim nodded, completely uninterested in anything that wasn’t Hyuck’s hair.

“He is ignoring me and he just won’t tell me why,” he complained.

Haechan had tried several times to make Taeil say something about his sudden silence but the actor had gotten better at slipping from his fingers. He wouldn’t even go to his car on his own anymore.

“Hm,” Yerim kept humming.

“What did I do in my last life to deserve a best friend such as you, Yeriminie?”

Yerim stopped whatever she was doing to Haechan’s hair and sighed. “Look, Hyuckie, we both know why Taeil is avoiding you and what you want him to say out-loud. He won’t admit it.”

Haechan’s heart shrinked. Taeil should admit it… Maybe he’d find out it was mutual… Things could be easy like that.

“He’s a fucking puzzle.”

”So are you,” Yerim said unfazed while returning to pay attention to the bigger problem: Haechan’s hair.

“Honestly? I wish Renjun would stop coming,” Haechan revealed and felt his mouth turning sour.

He loved Renjun but lately… Their feelings had crossed a line between platonic and romantic. Falling in love with your best friend is wonderful, until that best friend becomes your best friend again. They were trying to be more romantic, ignite a spark, but it was getting harder by the day. The two knew it was a dead cause, they were simply unwilling to make a funeral for it.

“You can always make him stop,” Yerim suggested just as she picked a scissor. Oh no.

❂

Yuta had one hand on Taeil’s waist, the other held his hand as he guided him across the room to the sound of a very slow song. Sometimes they giggled when their eyes met, it was still a little awkward having his best friend as his romantic pairing, but quite honestly Taeil wouldn’t have it any other way.

Yuta sometimes joked he was a fuckboy because he was paired with Joohyun during the musical and now he’s paired with Taeil. Joohyun and Taeil rolled their eyes but in reality Yuta was a good company to keep. Especially when they messed up and Yuta would gladly take the blame.

They were merely practicing the dancing for a scene but they were trying to keep it serious for when the cameras started rolling. Yuta danced really well, Taeil was glad he was the one guiding. Sometimes Taeil stumbled on his feet but Yuta acted like the perfect gentleman and kept on dancing.

“No, no, Yuta, you’re doing it wrong,” a voice interrupted them. Haechan, with purple long hair and his usual round glasses stood between them. “Let me lead Taeil for this rehearsal and then you can come back when Johnny rolls cameras.”

Taeil locked his eyes with Yuta’s and shook his head. Yuta smiled and winked, leaving Taeil to be eaten by wolves. Perfect gentleman his ass…

Haechan pulled Taeil close, even closer than when he was dancing with Yuta. They were chest to chest, hand in hand and Haechan touched his waist with care. They began slow-dancing.

“What are you doing?” Taeil gritted through his teeth while acting smiley.

“Dancing with you properly,” Haechan replied and his hand lowered to Taeil’s hip. Taeil felt fuzzy.

“Yuta danced perfectly well with me,” he stated, playing tough.

“He can’t do better than the original,” Haechan replied vaguely. Taeil almost stepped on a prop on the floor but Haechan held onto his hips with a strong grip and guided him to the other side.

“Uh?” Taeil questioned in confusion.

Haechan leaned closer to whisper in his ear. His breath tingled Taeil’s neck. “You once asked who was my inspiration for Max, now you know your answer.”

His revelation turned Taeil speechless. If he was already feeling fuzzy before with Haechan so close to him, his words had completely taken any ability left to think. All he knew was the butterflies in his stomach couldn’t stop flying around and he wanted to believe Haechan liked him back but knew he was being ridiculous. Only because he wanted Haechan to feel something for him, it didn’t mean anything. Taeil was fooling himself and everyone watched him closely.

Fortunately, just as Haechan had pulled away to look at his face, the bell of the studio rang. They would start filming soon. They stopped dancing. Haechan held Taeil a little longer before dropping his hand and returning to his office.

❂

Since around that day, Renjun’s visits to set seemed to halt completely. Taeil wondered if the two had broken up, but guessed that would have been announced to the media. Renjun must have been busy filming his new movie or something of that kind.

Just because Renjun wasn’t there, it didn’t mean Taeil wasn’t jealous. The couple still regularly posted videos of each other on Instagram, Renjun constantly mentioned Hae in interviews and Haechan still wore a promise ring that made Taeil avert his eyes at the sight of it.

However, the green monster was more at ease and so when Haechan approached him again, Taeil didn’t bite his hand off. He knew that it'd be better for him if he could forget Haechan and stay away. His efforts were in vain, Haechan managed to always slip in his scenes, offer advice, make him crack with a joke, so he gave up.

They became close friends, this time even more intimate than before. Haechan shared some of the problems with Renjun, although keeping it vague. He looked for advice from Taeil and confessed he knew he wasn’t trying his hardest, but couldn’t bring himself to say it to Renjun. Taeil reassured him, listened to his fears and offered him advice.

He had even driven drunk Haechan home once after one of the usual gatherings of cast and crew, leaving him at Johnny’s apartment. Haechan didn’t want him to go, asked Taeil to stay so they could sleep together but Johnny argued with him Taeil had done enough by bringing him home. Taeil kissed Haechan’s cheek and left, ignoring his needy whine — or better, trying to ignore.

As the season finale was getting closer, Haechan came less to the studio. He had a few episodes left to write and he wanted it to be perfect. Taeil missed him but they were texting nearly everyday.

He was just sending a message to Hae when he spotted a familiar mane of brown hair. Renjun had returned to the studio after so long apart. He seemed a little lost and confused, turning his head around the place as if looking for someone. Taeil decided to inform him Haechan hadn’t come to the studio that day.

Just as he was making his way to Renjun, the other spotted him and his eyes glowed. He walked towards Taeil and they met halfway.

Taeil opened his mouth but Renjun beat him to it. “I’m here to talk to you,” he told him with a nervous smile. Renjun was fidgety.

“Really?” Taeil tilted his head.

Renjun nodded. He continued walking, this time to a more private place in that busy studio. Taeil followed him to a dark corner near Haechan and Johnny’s office.

“Are you seeing Haechan?” Renjun asked right off the bat. His tone wasn’t accusatory, but the question still made Taeil gasp.

“Excuse me?”

Renjun insisted on his question. He looked more uncertain by the second, almost as if he was about to dissolve in tears. “Are you— Are you in love with him?”

Taeil took pity on him. He knew Haechan’s side but Renjun must have been going through a hard time as well even if he didn’t show it.

Taeik shook his head and spoke softly. “No… No, I don’t have any idea what you’re talking about, Renjun—“

“We broke up,” Renjun blurted out the news.

The atmosphere became awkward. Taeil’s eyes darted to Renjun’s hand. No promise ring anymore. They were truly over.

“I’m sorry,” Taeil murmured in the lack of what to say.

Renjun seemed ashamed of himself, having just noticed he had gone overboard. That was the most number of words they had exchanged in all these months and Taeil was one of Haechan’s closest friends at the moment… “No, I’m the one who is sorry for making these stupid questions…” he said. Renjun played with the hem of his shirt and looked up with a weak half-grin on his lips. “Maybe, hm, would you like a cup of coffee? For me to make up to you?”

Taeil breathed in relief. He could definitely be up for coffee.

❂

Taeil was waiting for Haechan while sitting on his desk. He was coming to the studio for the first time in a while and Taeil had made sure he looked pretty for him, wearing all black — Hae’s favorite color — and putting on his favorite cologne — Yerim’s choice.

When the door opened, he was ready to hug him tight and… well, maybe ask about Renjun, see how Haechan was doing. He wasn’t one to throw himself at a newly single man, but he could offer support. However, he didn’t have the chance to hug him because Haechan barged in with his phone unlocked in his hand, showing a picture to Taeil.

It was a photo Renjun had sent him via text, along with a “):” emoji attached to it and an apology right after. A paparazzi had caught them going out for coffee and it was all over the news. People wanted to know who Huang Renjun’s new boyfriend was.

“I had no idea you were being friendly with my ex,” Haechan spit out in anger.

“I didn’t even know he was your ex to begin with,” Taeil retorted, getting up from the table.

Haechan raised one of his eyebrows. “Did you want to know?”

“Couldn’t care less,” Taeil lied easily, walking to the door. Haechan’s voice kept him from leaving.

“What are you two up to?” he asked witn suspicion.

Taeil rolled his eyes and sighed. “He called me for coffee, I said yes. Is there a problem?”

Haechan was like a rabid dog, drooly and angry over nothing. “Do you talk about me?”

“Yeah, we share how hot you are over Americanos,” Taeil replied sarcastically.

“That’s certainly something you’d say, I’m not sure about Renjun…” Haechan muttered, walking towards his desk.

This time it was Taeil who couldn’t let it go. “What do you even mean?”

“I mean that I don’t want my ex feeding lies into your brain,” he explained, voice higher than before. Taeil finally noticed he was containing his anger.

“Why do you even care about what I think?” Taeil asked and this time he was hopeful. Haechan would say something, he’d sweep him off his feet. Somehow, with mere words, Haechan would turn that glim interaction into something bright.

“Our work-relationship can’t be ruined,” he said as it was an obvious fact.

Taeil was shattered by his answer, but didn’t let it reach his eyes.

“Looks pristine to me,” he said with an ironic smile and finally left that office.

❂

“God, he’s doing this on purpose!” Taeil exclaimed as Yerim gave his make up some final touches under the set lights.

“What?” she asked, enhancing the blush on his cheekbones.

“Flirting with that crew boy…” Taeil muttered just as Haechan winked cheekily at the man who took care of lighting.

To be fair, Haechan hadn’t done that a lot and Taeil didn’t _really_ think he was doing it on purpose. He had caught them flirting when he was hiding or when they had no idea of his presence. He just liked to think it was on purpose because… well, it was the closest he could get of proof that Haechan liked him back.

“Why would he be doing that on purpose?” Yerim asked, very amused in the face of Taeil’s anger.

“To get on my nerves for going out with Renjun.”

“It’s working then,” she concluded, giving Taeil’s cheeks one last brush before she was done.

“Of course not,” he mumbled shyly to himself. Of course it was working.

“This is not going to work,” Johnny whispered to his ear.

Haechan, who had been busy winking at that cute Jeno guy, was a little confused. “What?”

“You aren’t this into the lights boy, you’re just jumping a sinking ship. You’re making him jealous but only that,” Johnny told him and Haechan instantly looked at Taeil. He was getting his blush reapplied by Yerim and looked simply gorgeous. “Moon Taeil isn’t one to confess his feelings as I was told. I think secretly you knew that too but was expecting him to take that leap for you,” Johnny continued, bringing Haechan’s attention back to him. He was harsh and straight to the point. “He won’t, Haechan, but you can close that gap between you two. I know you can,” he ended on a softer note.

Yerim was done with Taeil, they could return the shooting.

❂

Finally, the shootings were over. Now all was left was for the editing team to take over and they’d have a new show streaming in a month or so.

“Guys! This is an official wrap for season one!” Johnny announced just as he yelled cut for the last scene. Everyone clapped excitedly and came closer to Johnny as he gave the final speech.

He wasn’t as good with words as Haechan, but he was a great leader and everyone paid attention to what he was saying. He highlighted the ups and downs, how they’ve grown into a team through those months together, how he really appreciated there was no diva in the cast — even though Yuta tried to be a diva sometimes (Yuta objected to that statement with a loud “hey!”.) He retold stories of what they had been through that season: Joohyun’s bad relationship with wardrobe, when Yuta made the crew laugh so hard a cameraman almost dropped his camera, when Taeil couldn’t pronounce a word and Haechan had to keep yelling it out to him until he got it. In the end, filming that series had been a wonderful experience. Friendships had been made (Johnny looked at Haechan and Taeil this time, everyone chuckled), some arguments unfolded (he looked at them again and there was more laughter) but in the end what mattered was that he was proud of their work.

Everyone clapped and there were some “hurrays” in the crowd. They gathered in small groups, thanking each other for their hardwork, talking about what an experience it was. Slowly, the groups were dispersing, until there was only Joohyun, Yuta and Taeil. They were always the last one to leave.

Just as they were going to their trailers to pick their things, Haechan stopped them.

“Taeil, can I talk to you?” he asked and his tone was grave.

Taeil shot a nervous look at Joohyun and Yuta but they didn’t offer any help. Joohyun, who clearly wanted to stay, was dragged by Yuta and could only mouth a “Good luck” while Yuta chuckled quietly. Taeil was left with nowhere else to look besides Haechan. The lights of the set were slowly being turned off, only the small light of the writer’s table on, therefore Haechan came closer so they’d see each other better.

“Wanted to check how you were feeling. We will enter promotion in a week and I needed to check on you,” he explained, very formal and distant.

“Won’t get rid of you so soon, huh?” Taeil asked, acting as if that confession of care hadn’t turned his stomach upside down.

“I’m not promoting with you,” he informed with a frown. He was probably expecting Taeil to know, but that was complete news to the actor. “Gonna miss me?” he asked with his usual cockiness, only with a layer of seriousness added to it.

That new information certainly changed things for Taeil. There was a new emptiness inside of him. Till that moment, even if they had talked less ever since their disagreement, Haechan was still there. Taeil could still hear his laughter, his — blunt — criticism and felt his overall presence everywhere on set. Every piece of that would be lost and only to be found next season, if they even got renewed to begin with.

“Don’t know what you mean,” he said, turning his head.

“I’m gonna miss you,” Haechan spoke louder this time, reaching closer to Taeil. “Gonna miss your bright smile, the silent way you own the set with your presence, how you can always deliver a line and make everyone laugh,” he paused to take a breath before continuing. “Gonna miss your quiet giggles when you read the script for the first time, how you beamed at my compliments as if every single word mattered the world to you, how you managed to be tameless and shy at the same time,” he said, bolder by each sentence. This time, he was so close, Taeil could see his eyes shining even in the darkness of the set. “Most of all, I’m gonna miss our conversations about the script, sharing random facts about each other and simply existing in the same place as you. Gonna miss you, Moon Taeil,” he ended solemnly, gaze stuck to Taeil.

Taeil felt his heart throbbing and he wanted to speak but couldn’t find words to it. Haechan held his hand and shut him up for good.

“I think you know what I’m about to tell you. Isn’t like I ain’t dropping hints everywhere…” he snickered just before he lifted his free hand and traced a line from Taeil’s forehead down to his chin. “You’re my muse, Moon Taeil, my source of inspiration in a way that took me long to understand because I’ve never felt anything like this before. My art has flourished to Renascence levels with you by my side and I’m addicted to any word, emotion, experience you can give me,” he dropped his free hand and lowered his eyes, suddenly becoming shy. Taeil tried regaining his breath but it was hard. “I’m only making this confession something grand and romantic because you’re more than worthy. If you inspire art, you deserve art in return,” he finally concluded, a faint grin on his lips.

There was a moment of silence between them. Taeil gasped for air and held Haechan’s hand with a stronger grip to stable himself. He felt warm.

“I don’t know what to answer,” Taeil said, completely awestruck by what he just heard.

Haechan smiled proudly. There was probably a good flavor to making Taeil speechless.

“Say you’ll miss me too,” he suggested.

Taeil shook his head. “That goes unsaid.”

Haechan dared to come closer. Their breathings mixed together. Taeil’s heart was about to jump from his chest.

“Then kiss me,” he whispered, eyes on Taeil’s lips.

Taeil licked his lips and leaned forward. He met Haechan’s salty lips with eagerness and threw his arms around his neck. Haechan held him by the waist and pulled him closer, kissing Taeil back. His lips were rough and yet clashed with his softly, Haechan was so warm it was addicting, Taeil wanted to touch him with his entire body. He felt so good, Taeil was mush in his arms, he wanted to melt to that kiss but Haechan pulled away just in time.

Taeil expected him to say something but Haechan simply caressed his hair, looking completely endeared. Taeil finally noticed there were moments words couldn’t reach and that was one of those. He’d happily stare into Haechan’s eyes until the last light in that studio turned off.


	17. morning by orange light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the next morning

Bare footsteps walked down the stairs. Taeil was only wearing an orange with white stripes buttoned shirt with a white undershirt — all of those that belonged to Haechan — and grey underwear covered by them. He yawned and covered his mouth with his shirt’s paws before he finally reached the final step, into Haechan’s kitchen.

“Good morning, Illie,” Haechan said, focused on the eggs he was cooking.

“Hyuckie,” Taeil called him, still sleepy. “You’re cooking for me again,” he finally noticed.

Haechan, who was wearing an apron and black boxers, felt slightly shy from what he was dressing but figured it was too late to change. “You cook for me all the time,” he pointed out.

There weren’t many occasions those last years for Taeil to cook for Haechan. However, when they were together, Taeil used to cook for him at least every week. Haechan once even accused him of having a master plan to fatten him up to which Taeil shrugged and said it wasn’t a bad idea after all. He just liked to see his Hyuckie enjoying his food.

“Gonna spoil me,” Taeil mumbled, going to get himself some orange juice from the fridge.

“Maybe... Only today won’t hurt,” Haechan said, turning the egg. Taeil was drinking juice at that moment. “Did you sleep well?”

He lowered his cup and sighed in pleasure. “Like a rock. It feels safe when we share a bed,” he said, coming closer to Haechan to hug him from behind.

Donghyuck hummed, but quickly escaped Taeil’s hold to add some spice to the eggs.

Taeil was finally awake enough to talk about what he wanted to mention ever since he first saw Haechan semi-nude in that apron. “So about that last night—“

“Let’s eat first, then you can tell me all about it,” Haechan interrupted him softly as he turned off the fire and took off his apron.

The eggs were done, breakfast was to commence.

❂

Although Taeil groaned to protest, Haechan still fed him a spoon or two of food, only because he missed doing that. Taeil stuck out his tongue for him and stole his orange juice. Haechan didn’t mind, if he could he’d steal a kiss from Taeil for being so sassy.

They had a nice breakfast, Haechan made sure Taeil ate until he was full. When it was over, they left the dishes in the sink and went to the living room, where they sat on the couch.

“Can I talk about it now?” Taeil asked eagerly.

“We can... or we can watch a super nice marathon of Veep,” Haechan suggested, ready to turn on the television.

“Hyuck...”

Haechan ignored Taeil’s tone and picked up the remote. “Don’t you just love Julia Louis-Dreyfuss?”

“Hyuckie!” Taeil whined louder and jumped to Haechan’s lap, making him drop the remote. “I don’t know if you’re doing this to tease me or you’re avoiding it, but please, I can’t stay a day without kissing you anymore,” he complained leaning his head over Haechan’s.

“Poor Illie, are you kiss deprived?” he teased sweetly while pressing his hands against Taeil’s back.

“Yes, very much so, I miss my favorite lips,” he confessed, eyes mesmerized by Haechan’s mouth.

“Only my lips?”

Taeil pushed his shoulder playfully. “No, Hyuckie, I miss you... Everything about you. I’m not as good with words as you are but believe me when I say there are no words to describe how much difference you made in my day to day life,” he said with sincerity.

It was only fair Haechan was just as honest.

“I’m scared of this kiss,” he revealed, eyes shying away from Taeil’s gaze.

It was quiet for a moment before Taeil spoke again.

“Wanna talk about it?” he asked, not sounding offended or irritated.

“I don’t wanna be hurt again, Illie. Especially by you, it’d ignite a never-ending cycle,” Haechan blurted out. It had been a struggle to actually put it into words since he didn’t want Taeil to feel they were discussing the same issue over and over again, but he still didn’t feel completely healed. Maybe he would never heal or it’d take years for that to happen, but he couldn’t wait that long. He wanted to be with Taeil right now, but there were some strings that kept him from completely giving himself.

Taeil pressed his lips together for a moment. Haechan was afraid that _now_ he’d definitely be offended, yell how Haechan never believed him and how he only gave him hope to shatter it again. Yet Taeil never failed to surprise him.

“We won’t repeat the same mistakes,” he declared with an assurance that made Haechan jealous. Seeing his ex wasn’t convinced, Taeil continued, “Look, if the problem were our clashing personalities or things that are so intrinsic to us that can’t possibly be changed, I’d understand your fear. Or if we had different concepts of what a relationship meant or had different ideas for our future, but that’s not the case.” Taeil supported his elbows on Haechan’s shoulders and hovered closer. “We match, we call for each other, we fall apart to grow together. We fucked up big time. But we know what we did wrong and we won’t repeat those mistakes,” he concluded with a half-smile. He leaned closer only, whispering words to tickle Haechan’s ear, “Fear not, my love, I’ll be by your side forever.”

“You just said you didn’t have a way with words,” Haechan replied, ignoring the chills up and down his spine.

Taeil pulled away so he could stare directly at Haechan again. “Maybe you inspire me just as much as I inspire you,” he suggested with a raised eyebrow.

Haechan moved his hand from Taeil’s back to Taeil’s cheek. “That’s impossible, you’re my eternal fountain of creativity,” Haechan said while caressing his face. Taeil beamed at the compliment. He had never looked as beautiful as at that moment. “Can I kiss you?”

Taeil nodded hesitantly. He had done everything so fast that day and now he took things slow. Haechan was amused.

Haechan gripped his chin gently to bring him closer. Their lips met with delicacy, almost as if Taeil was made of paper. His lips were chapped, but their fullness and Taeil’s own kissing made them soft against Haechan’s mouth. He tasted of orange juice and mint, Haechan wanted to have more of it.

His hands slipped to Taeil’s back to bring his body closer and Taeil squirmed on top of him. He started holding to Haechan’s hair as if his life depended on it and opened his mouthed wider. Haechan inserted his tongue and he could feel Taeil shivering on top of him.

Taeil started trailing patterns up and down Haechan’s chest as he rocked his hips softly against him. Haechan felt himself slowly getting hard and finally, his hand groped Taeil’s ass, who moaned against his mouth.

Haechan, eager to take full control of the situation, manhandled Taeil to lay on the couch so he could cage and keep kissing him. Taeil started rutting against Haechan’s leg.

Just as Haechan was about to kiss Taeil’s neck, he heard the sound of keys turning on the front door. He dropped Taeil immediately and got up to fix his hairs and boxers.

No time was left for him to put on proper clothes but there was no wet patch on his underwear nor was little Haechan too excited — yet. Taeil was dumbfounded by what was happening but Haechan didn’t have time to care for him, the intruder was already opening the front door.

“Haecha—“ Johnny was yelling but swallowed his words when he saw Taeil splattered on the couch. He looked at Haechan in awe. “Why is he here?”

“Hello to you too! Johnny is always so polite!” Haechan said with sarcasm and Johnny, ashamed at his behavior, waved at Taeil, who waved back. “I took him home to cheer him up. We were just about to watch Veep,” he explained with ease. He wasn’t lying after all.

“Uh... Why are you in just your boxers?” Johnny asked with suspicion.

Haechan lost his words for a second, but luckily Taeil was agile.

“Ah Johnny-ah, we’ve dated, there’s nothing for Haechan to hide from me,” he replied cheerfully. “Besides, he’s not that impressive down there,” he added in a pretend-whisper voice.

Haechan gaped. “I’m _that_ impressive and much more,” he scoffed, slightly outraged.

Before Taeil could reply and the two started bickering, Johnny finally disclosed his reasons for intruding. “I just came here to see if the last episode was done. We can start shooting it next week.”

“Sounds perfect to me,” Haechan agreed, picking the script from the coffee table. He had set aside expecting Johnny to ask for it, but not barge into his apartment as he was kissing his ex-not-ex-anymore boyfriend.

“Doyoung will be glad we are ahead of schedule. One more step towards freedom!” Johnny pumped a fist high in the air, a contagious smile on his lips.

“You won’t be back next season then?” Taeil asked with big innocent curious eyes.

Johnny shrugged. “It’s Haechan’s call honestly.”

With eyes on him, Haechan tried being vague, “Nothing is set in stone.”

He sat back on the couch and turned the television. They had at least to pretend they actually intended on watching Veep. Taeil approached him on the sofa, but not too close for Johnny to suspect anything.

“Can I watch Veep with you?” Johnny asked.

Before Taeil could say something, Haechan nodded. He couldn’t give any reason for Johnny to suspect anything.

❂

Taeil watched Veep while frowning. It was very obvious he wasn’t even a little bit happy Johnny had destroyed their day together and they couldn’t even kiss in front of him.

To appease his heart, Haechan grabbed a blankie. He offered it to Johnny too but he was too occupied laughing at the TV show to respond to him.

Taeil shook his head first but Haechan didn’t give him a choice, covering them with the blanket. Before Taeil could complain, Haechan’s hand touched his thigh and stayed there. Haechan always felt warm against Taeil’s skin and that seemed pleasing enough for Taeil, who had a shy half-smile on his lips.

He came closed and leaned his head on Haechan’s shoulder. They spent the rest of the afternoon like this, Johnny even made them little snacks and they talked before Johnny looked at the time.

“I should get going, gotta oversee editing for an episode tomorrow,” he said, getting up from the couch. He looked at the two who were still covered by the blanket. “Is Taeil sleeping over?”

“No!” Haechan yelled when Johnny had barely finished his sentence.

“I’m leaving a little after you,” Taeil informed with a more natural smile.

Johnny nodded, they said their goodbyes and he was off the door. Taeil was already hopping on top of Hyuck the next second. He seemed ready to devour him.

“You can’t sleep over,” Haechan shot as fast as he could.

Taeil got up from on top of him. “What? Why not? I wanted to have some fun,” he whined, trailing a hand on Haechan’s thigh.

“Johnny is a police dog, he is trained to sniff evidence if we’ve slept together. He’d probably smell the come inside of you from a mile away,” he explained and Taeil looked disgusted by that last metaphor. Haechan took Taeil’s hand from his thigh to place a chaste kiss over it. “Also, I was really hoping we could take things slow.”

Taeil squinted his eyes. “How slow?”

Haechan laughed. “God, aren’t you a little too desperate to have sex with me after claiming I’m not impressive, huh?”

“Shut up,” Taeil gritted through his teeth, hitting him with a pillow that was caught.

Haechan pulled the pillow closer and Taeil came with it. “Just one date,” he promised, his hand stroking Taeil’s dry lips. “I’m a hopeless romantic when I’m with you, Taeil, you should know that by now.”

Taeil was flustered and avoided Haechan’s gaze. “Such a sap,” he complained, but eventually gave in. “Fine, but it gotta be somewhere no one sees us. I don’t want anyone interrupting us.”

He meant mostly paparazzi or fans that, even with the most loving of intentions, would steal leak their photos online.

“No one possibly could, but I’ll keep that in mind when I plan our date,” Haechan reassured him, giving Taeil’s lips a peck. “Now put on some clothes so I can drive you home, babe.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [return to the next text au update by clicking here ](https://twitter.com/thegreatmoon94/status/1292892289979887616?s=21)


	18. second moon, second sun, second date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> taeil and haechan’s second first-date

Taeil was fidgeting nervously. He was wearing the dark blue shirt Haechan had requested him to wear, along with black jeans and shoes. Since Haechan had said they’d be going somewhere casual, he didn’t wanna put too much makeup but Joohyun insisted in a little bit of glitter on his eyes and Taeil couldn’t say no. She did Taeil’s eyes like no one.

Haechan’s car stopped in Taeil’s private parking space and Taeil opened the door to hop inside. He didn’t quite know how to greet Hyuck yet. They had kissed a few days before but he had said he wanted to take things slow. In the end, he decided on giving him a simple kiss on the cheek.

Haechan started driving to their destination. He was wearing a bucket hat, probably to hide his identity if someone caught them — Taeil had brought a cap with him — a dark orange jacket, white t-shirt, and dark jeans.

“Where are you taking me?” Taeil asked eagerly.

“I won’t let that information slip this easily,” Haechan replied with a secretive smile. “You’ll find out by your own eyes.”

❂

As Haechan drove up on a hill, Taeil already knew where he was being taken.

“Haechan, you didn’t,” Taeil said, completely baffled if they were going to where he thought they were going.

“What?” Haechan asked, feigning ignorance.

Taeil was quiet in his excitement. Soon they spotted the Griffith Observatory on the top of the hill. It was a beautiful construction in the Greek style, imposing over the rest of Los Angeles. Taeil always wanted to visit there, ever since he moved to the city for “Studio 127” but never found the time. Haechan promised to take him there someday.

“Why is this place empty?” Taeil asked as Haechan stopped the car in the empty parking lot.

He was initially ignored, as Haechan got out of the car to open his door and offer him his hand. Taeil felt his heart fluttering.

“It’s Monday, Illie, museums are always closed on Mondays,” Haechan explained while chuckling.

“And you got us here how?” Taeil asked, very suspicious as he accepted his hand and hopped from the car.

“I’m a famous Hollywood scriptwriter, let me use my privilege to spoil my boyfriend,” Haechan said, intertwining their hands.

Taeil’s heart was about to leave his mouth. Haechan had called him his _boyfriend_ and he did it so naturally.

There were a few people working on the observatory and for that Taeil was glad Haechan was wearing a bucket hat. They walked through the garden hand in hand and came through the big open doors of the place.

“Are you going to dance with me like in La La Land?” Taeil asked, barely containing his wonderstruck expression at how magical that place felt.

“No, you can’t dance for your life,” Haechan snickered, only to get pushed by Taeil’s shoulder. “What?! I’ve seen your dance scenes!”

“You used those scenes to dance with me,” Taeil shot back, remembering well all the times Haechan shushed Yuta away only to pull Taeil closer to his body.

Haechan leaned closer to whisper on Taeil’s ear, “Had to use every chance I got to get close to you.” Taeil felt shivers up and down his spine.

It was the perfect date. They watched the small and bright Los Angeles through the observatory’s big windows, even taking pictures of each other with the scenery. The telescope allowed them to watch the moon and a few planets. Haechan was victorious that it was a clear night. He saw the moon through the telescope only to say, “Oh, there are two moons.”

Taeil sighed, Haechan was so cheesy when he wanted to. They walked hand in hand to the last attraction: the planetarium. The room was dark as they watched stars in the sky among the planets. There was even a sun and it was Taeil’s turn to say, “Oh, there are two suns.”

Haechan smiled and brought Taeil closer to his body.

“Okay, maybe we should dance like in La La Land,” he said, eyes staring at Taeil.

“Oh, thought you said I couldn’t dance,” the actor repied, pretending to be uninterested in the suggestion.

“That’s why I’ll lead you,” Haechan insisted and soon there was a hand on his hip. Taeil gave in and they started dancing slowly.

He must have planned this because soon La La Land’s score “Planetarium” started playing and they danced to the song. Haechan led Taeil as if he was born for it. He didn’t let Taeil misstep and swirled him around with elegance before bringing him close to his chest again.

Taeil was in awe as they waltzed between the stars. He dared to think it was even more magical than the movie, Haechan’s warm body so close to his and warm eyes directed at him. When the last notes of the song kicked in, Taeil didn’t worry about being too forward, he leaned in and sealed their lips.

Haechan kissed him back, in a sweet, romantic kiss that made butterflies fly inside his stomach. Taeil threw his arms around Haechan and was held by the writer’s arms.

When it was over, they laid down on the floor and watched the solar system turn. They still had their hands connected.

❂

They were leaving the observatory. Taeil thanked the staff he met on the way and Haechan nodded along, keeping the bucket hat low. As they were walking through the garden, Haechan asked him, “Are you hungry?”

“Why?”

Taeil was indeed hungry but he didn’t want Haechan to waste any more money in a secretive restaurant for them to dine in peace. He was also looking forward to going back home so they would eat and maybe spend the rest of the night together. Taeil hoped the night wouldn’t end with him going back to his own apartment alone.

However, he didn’t have time to express what he was thinking as he was soon graced with a picnic displayed on the grass and under a tree. Taeil’s heart was about to burst out of his chest.

“Wow, Hyuck, you really are a hopeless romantic,” he sighed as they sat down on the cloth.

“Not that hopeless,” Haechan replied, pouring a purple liquid in a glass. “Wine?” he offered and Taeil accepted it gladly.

They took some sips of the wine. There was cheese, bread, and fruits. God, there was even apple pie, Taeil’s favorite. They started eating and talked casually about things on set, the whole scandal and Haechan shared some spoilers of the last episode. He didn’t say much further, he never allowed Taeil to have access to the episodes before the others. When Taeil claimed he wished privileges from them dating, Haechan raised an eyebrow and said, “You date me, that’s privilege enough.”

That night, however, he indulged Taeil with a little sneak peeks as long as his boyfriend indulged him back with kisses. Finally, Haechan said there would be no more spoilers. Taeil pouted but accepted it, knowing he had been spoiled.

“What happened in the years we were apart?” he asked, with bright eyes. “I wanna know everything!”

“Are you sure?” Haechan asked with a raised eyebrow. Taeil nodded eagerly. “Well, for starters my sister got a little crazy,” Haechan told and Taeil giggled. Haechan’s sister was certainly hard to deal with.

“Only a little?”

Haechan laughed loudly and he continued talking of his sister’s chaos. The conversation flowed nicely, they knew a lot about each other for the years they were together so they didn’t spend much time explaining the stories. When Haechan told Taeil his uncle had tried stealing from his dad _again_ , Taeil knew exactly which uncle he was talking about and when Taeil shared his mom had finally married, he didn’t explain who the guy was since Haechan had known his stepdad personally.

“It was a real bummer at the wedding,” he revealed, getting very interested in his fingers all of the sudden. “Everyone kept asking me about you and I really missed you a lot. Somehow you even made family gatherings have some sense,” he said with a nostalgic half-smile. “How could you make my family like you and make fun of them at the same time, that was an art.”

Haechan grabbed his hand and kissed its back, not breaking eye contact. “I wish I was there with you,” he spoke sincerely.

Taeil turned his head. “Stop being such a sap, I’m holding myself not to jump at you.”

Haechan smiled cockily. “And to think I did all this for you to jump on me—“ He was interrupted by Taeil kissing him.

It got heated up quite fast, probably because both of them were holding themselves the entire night. Haechan laid down the cloth and Taeil was practically on top of him, kissing him nonstop. He wanted to dive inside his lips and started yearning for friction between their bodies. When Taeil rutted against Haechan’s leg, the writer stopped the kiss.

Taeil was about to pout and complain but Haechan shut his lips with a finger.

“I think... It’s time we take this somewhere else,” he said suggestively.

Taeil almost jumped on him again but decided to do that when they were back at Haechan’s apartment. The night was’t over yet.


	19. spoils of defeat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they spend a night together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter contains smut. read only if you like it. for the ones who don’t, i’ll write any important things (plotwise) in the end chapters. have fun

“God, I missed your lips,” Taeil's voice came out muffled against Haechan’s mouth as they kissed each other desperately, ignoring any need for air in their lungs. Only spit and each other’s dry lips mattered at that moment.

They had just arrived at Haechan’s apartment and their bags were already on the floor. Taeil wanted to rip Haechan’s shirt to shreds, kissing his lips eagerly as he palmed his chest. Hae, known for his sensitive nipples, groaned against Taeil’s lips.

He broke apart for air. “Only my lips?” he questioned with a smirk.

“I can show more of what I missed,” Taeil murmured with confidence and lowered one of his hands from Haechan’s chest to the prominent bulge on his pants.

Haechan’s breath hitched as he bit his bottom lip. “God, aren’t you something?” he laughed it off before taking Taeil’s lips in his again, almost devouring the other with the intensity he moved his mouth.

Haechan groped Taeil’s ass, feeling the chunky butt and smiling into the kiss. He had missed Taeil’s curves, his soft belly, and those plump thighs. Rutting against Taeil’s hand, he started unbuttoning Taeil’s shirt with one hand (thank god those buttons were easy to deal with) and he pulled Taeil’s body closer to him.

Taeil’s starry shirt was soon on the floor. Haechan decided it was time for them to move on to bed instead of making out in the living room. With quick steps, soft chuckles and hands glued to each other, the two went up the stairs for the room. Haechan closed the door and took off his shirt the same second. Taeil was already without his shoes and pants, laying on the bed, waiting for him.

Haechan caged him as he unbuckled his belt. Taeil’s neck invited him for marking and so he began sucking, kissing, and biting it lightly, listening to Taeil’s sweet moans as if they were symphonies to his ear. Taeil spread his legs and Haechan’s hand slipped to the curve of his ass.

He scratched Haechan’s back, earning a groan from the younger’s lips. His grip on Taeil’s ass increased and, through the briefs, he slipped a finger on its crack only to feel something hard against his fingertips. Haechan bit Taeil’s neck at this discovery.

“Oh, what do we have here?” he asked in a mocking whisper as he detached his mouth from the crook of Taeil’s neck.

His fingers circled the hard surface and he smirked. A plug, a heart-shaped one at that. He looked at Taeil with a raised eyebrow but Taeil acted coy and simply palmed Donghyuck’s nipple to tease him back.

“Illie, you really want me dead,” Haechan said, getting away from his boyfriend’s hold just to lower his own pants and take off his shoes. He returned to hover over him and play with the hem of Taeil’s boxers.

“I had high expectations for tonight,” Taeil confessed, still playing angelic.

Haechan’s fingers hooked to the hem of the boxers and pulled them down. He was right, a pink heart-shaped plug was inserted in Taeil’s hole and his own cock twitched at the sight. Fuck, Taeil was too much indeed.

“Am I meeting them?” he asked in his husky tone as he pressed their bodies together again.

“Hmm, kiss me again so I’m sure,” Taeil said, pulling Haechan closer by the neck.

They rutted against each other, lengths touching through the fabric of Haechan’s underwear. Taeil’s hands dropped from Haechan’s neck to his back to scratch it, earning a groan from his boyfriend. Haechan snickered, Taeil had a good memory of his weak points but he could also play that game.

He began circling the surface of the plug, even lightly pushing it inside as he lowered his head to Taeil’s neck. Taeil moaned, his neck was sensitive, and having his plug played with left him leaking more precome.

“Don’t tease,” he asked in a laboured whine. “Please.”

It felt good to have Taeil so pliantly begging for Haechan. If Haechan wasn’t as eager as him, maybe he could have stalled a little more, played hard to get until Taeil was on his knees begging to be fucked. However, he hadn’t savored Taeil’s body for too long and he couldn’t torture his own self.

Gently and steadily, the plug was removed, making it pop. Haechan felt the oozing lube leaving Taeil’s entrance. Taeil bit his bottom lip just as Haechan began inserting two of his fingers inside. Although he was already pretty loose due to the plug, Haechan still enjoyed prepping and teasing Taeil so he continued circling his rim before fucking him on his fingers.

Taeil fucked himself against Haechan’s long fingers that curled exactly where Taeil needed the most and raised his head to give a kitten lick to Haechan’s left nipple. Haechan whined and Taeil pulled him closer to properly suck his sensitive nub.

It was hard to concentrate with Taeil’s warm mouth on his chest but Haechan continued his ministrations, scissoring his fingers and fastening the pace. Taeil sometimes had to take little breaks to catch air back to his lungs and Haechan took that opportunity to kiss his cheeks. They chuckled and Taeil softly caressed Haechan’s silver hair before sucking his nipple once again.

Haechan slowly added a third finger, loosening his rim even more before fucking him. This time it was impossible for Taeil to keep licking Haechan’s nubs, his length already fully erected and dripping so much precome.

“I’m loose, Hyuckie,” he said breathly. Haechan ignored the chance to tease Taeil once again by prepping him more. Unfortunately, that night, he was too eager to play with the older.

He removed his fingers and Taeil’s hole clenched on thin air. Detaching himself from Taeil’s body, he started to look around and run his hand through his hair nervously. He then hopped from the bed and went to the nightstand.

“What is it?” Taeil asked with furrowed eyebrows.

Haechan waved at him the package he had just gotten from the first drawer. “Uhm, better get a condom, right?” he asked, going back to bed.

Suddenly the room was swept with a cold wind.

“Oh,” was Taeil’s only answer. He avoided Haechan’s eyes in embarrassment.

They had sex with condoms before, at the beggining of their relationship before they got tested and, after that, they just fucked like rabbits. That was four years ago.

There wasn’t exactly a memo on unprotected sex with ex-boyfriends. They had done it without condoms before but years had passed and there was that strange knowledge that other people had touched their bodies… It felt like there were more than four hands in that bed. Taeil retracted at the thought.

“Before we get tested again, babe,” Haechan reassured him. “Really wanna raw you, but… we’ve had sex with other people,” he muttered and there was a bitter taste on his mouth.

“Did you fuck without a condom?” Taeil questioned softly while looking at his boyfriend, trying his best to not let his jealousy ruin this perfect night.

“Did _you_?” Haechan retorted, considerably harsher.

Taeil turned his face, hurt by two simple words and the accusation that laid beneath them. Haechan seemed to immediately see his mistake and dropped the condom to envelop his boyfriend in the safety of his arms.

“Hey, Illie, babe,” he whispered quietly before kissing Taeil’s jaw. “Sorry I came off too strong, I didn’t mean to. I… Yeah, Jun and I had unprotected sex a few times. I got tested since and I’m clean,” he admitted trailing circles on Taeil’s chest.

The blonde turned around to face Donghyuck. “Yeah, Jaehyun, and I also didn’t use one either,” he revealed.

Haechan felt a small range inside him at that information but decided to ignore it. This wasn’t about Jaehyun, it was about him and Taeil, together finally. Nothing was to come between that.

“How about we get tested soon so we can fuck like before?” he suggested with a small half-smile.

Taeil smiled as well. “I’d really like that,” he agreed in a murmur.

Haechan couldn’t help himself, he leaned closer so their lips would meet. Taeil kissed him back and, in the midst of desire, it felt refreshingly sweet.

“I love you, Illie,” he said as he broke the kiss and touched their foreheads together.

“Love you too.”

They continued kissing and rapidly became lost in each other’s lips. Taeil’s hand slipped down Haechan’s boxers, feeling his length and stroking it. Haechan pushed against his touch, adoring his small petite hand around his girth, bringing it to full hardness.

He stood up to take off his boxers completely and looked around for the condom he was sure to have dropped somewhere. Taeil had it between his teeth and Haechan couldn’t help smiling at the teasing little thing his boyfriend was.

Taeil sat on the bed and continued stroking Haechan’s cock, making sure to have his eyes locked with the younger’s as he pressed his length’s head on his cheek. He increased his grip on it and smeared more precome on its surface. There was even some of it on his cheek.

“Taeil, I’m gonna come if you keep it up,” Haechan warned, only half jokingly.

Taeil giggled at his boyfriend’s helplessness. He opened the condom with his teeth and wrapped it around Haechan’s length, making sure it was put on properly.

Haechan was tired and pushed Taeil to bed, caging him with his arms once again. Taeil smiled brightly and tried to fight back playfully but was stopped with a thousand kisses on his lips that then trailed down his neck and turned him into a mewling mess. Haechan took advantage of Taeil’s guard being low and spread his legs properly. He fingered him again to check if he was properly lubed one last time. Taeil whimpered louder.

Before finally sinking in, he remembered one last trick — besides marking his neck — that drove Taeil completely insane. He came closer to his ear only to bite it swiftly and Taeil emitted a moan loud enough for Haechan’s liking.

Holding Taeil by the waist, he sank his length inside him. The slide was slow but with no major holdbacks, since they were using a condom and Taeil had prepped himself nicely. Once he was balls deep and breathless inside Taeil, Haechan stopped. They looked at each other, Taeil biting his bottom lip while Haechan had his lips parted to catch a breath. Taeil cupped Haechan’s cheek only to kiss him again, rocking his hips against him.

Haechan began to pick rhythm and took control from the situation, fucking Taeil against the mattress while holding him with a tight grip. Taeil spread his leg and let Haechan do whatever he wanted. He could only scratch his boyfriend’s back and whimper as he felt his cock pounding inside of him.

“So tight,” Haechan whispered rushed praises in his ear, biting it again and causing Taeil to clench his hole and moan. “God, you’re the best,” Haechan said, fucking Taeil deeper. He wanted to see Taeil’s eyes rolling to the back of his skull.

“I-I’ve missed this so much,” Taeil whined, holding Haechan closer. Their bellies were soft against one another and there were tears escaping Taeil’s eyes.

“Missed you too,” he murmured back, kissing Taeil’s cheeks to stop the tears.

Taeil looked simply gorgeous with his legs wrapped around Haechan’s body, sweat dripping down his forehead, chapped lips bruised from biting them, and tears streaming down his face. His eyes rolled back every time Haechan gave an especially hard thrust, but he never complained, only moaned louder. He seemed to never want to be apart from Haechan ever again, pulling him closer with his legs, arms, and even his lips. At that moment, Taeil had looked his most vulnerable in front of Haechan than he had in years.

“You’re so hot, Illie,” Haechan murmured to his ear, feeling his boyfriend get chills from under him. That only boosted Haechan’s ego for him to fuck Taeil better.

“I’m close,” the older warned, one of his hands trailing down from Haechan’s back to his leaking and unattended cock.

Haechan wished to someday make Taeil come only on his dick again, but that wasn’t the night for that. It was a night for vulnerability and love. He felt his own cheek wetting as one single tear dropped from his eyes. Fuck, if he wasn’t gonna give Taeil the best orgasm he’s had in years.

He rocked his hips while keeping Taeil’s waist in place, trying to reach deeper inside than before. Taeil whimpered and moaned as he fasted the pace of his hand on his own length. Haechan went again to Taeil’s weak spot, to bite his ear and whisper, “You can come, babe.”

Come sputtered from Taeil’s cock between the two. Haechan didn’t stop fucking, he was too close to his own orgasm. Taeil whined that it was too much but Haechan kept saying how close he was and kissing Taeil’s neck, marking him, until his thrusts slowed down and he was coming inside the condom. For a few seconds, his mind went blank.

After completely emptying himself, Haechan blinked back to the real world and took a deep breath. He kissed Taeil’s lips rapidly, who was barely responsive and pulled out to take off the condom and throw it away in the trash. He also picked up a couple of water bottles and wet wipes, dropping them on the bed.

He uncapped one of the bottles and offered it to Taeil. “Water, drink it,” he said brutely.

Taeil, who was still laying down and feeling how good his orgasm was, blinked at the bottle in front of him. He sat down on the bed and accepted it.

“You’re obsessed with keeping me hydrated,” he mumbled but drank the liquid the next second.

Haechan picked the wet wipes and delicately cleaned the come on Taeil’s and his own belly. He took Taeil’s tiny hand on his. It was covered with white seed and so he cleaned it as well, making sure to kiss his knuckles when it was done.

“Wanna keep you alive,” he argued. Taeil was done drinking water and he passed the bottle to Haechan, who drank a few gulps. After he was done, he put the bottles on the nightstand as well as the wipes and threw the dirty ones in the garbage.

Finally, he was ready to lay down next to Taeil and enjoy a good night cuddling together. When he sneaked under the sheets and nuzzled Taeil’s bruised neck, his boyfriend was picking on his lips, eyes darting around the room.

“D-did you like it?” he asked, slightly stuttering.

“Yeah, Illie, you know my body like no one,” he told him while rubbing his belly. “Scratching my back and teasing my nipples… Fucking vixen.”

Taeil looked back at him and there was a faint half-smile in his lips, but he still looked unsettled. “I was just… unsure…”

“It was perfect,” Haechan was quick to reassure him. Suddenly, he was the one uncertain. “Did _you_ like it?”

“Yes,” Taeil said, a smile reaching his cheekbones. “I missed your body a lot,” he added, comfortably molding to Haechan’s hold.

Haechan hummed, signaling he wanted to hear more, and Taeil continued to indulge him.

“Jaehyun is so… muscular,” he said and felt Haechan tensing around him. “But you’re soft and you feel good against me… I really missed it,” he added and Haechan relaxed. “There were times I wished you had a twin so I could have sex with him,” was his last confession, an embarrassing smile stretching his lips.

“You could have texted me…” Haechan suggested and Taeil rolled his eyes

“Yeah, for you to laugh at my face.”

It was quiet for a moment before Haechan spoke again.

“I missed sex with you too.”

“Why?” Taeil mumbled, eyes low as he trailed fingers on Haechan’s warm hairy chest. “It probably isn’t as different than having sex with Renjun… He must know your body even better than I do…”

“Bullshit,” Haechan was quick to interject and Taeil instinctively looked up. “Like, not gonna lie, we dated for many years, sex wasn’t bad. But what we have, it’s just different, Illie. I didn’t get back with Renjun or even considered that. With you… it was a battle to be apart.”

At Haechan’s new words, Taeil’s heart became warm and he nuzzled against his chest.

“Well, I’m glad you lost the war,” he murmured, ready for them to fall asleep soon.

“Me too,” Haechan whispered back, kissing his forehead and caressing his hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haechan shows his jealousy when they agree to use a condom and talk about each other’s sexual history but the matter is quickly settled
> 
> also later taeil is insecure about how sex with renjun is like but haechan reassures him sex with taeil is great
> 
> that’s it ^__^ hope u liked it ! pls comment~


	20. old habits die hard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the last table read

Taeil was a bad actor. He couldn’t be exactly discreet as he watched Haechan from across the room, holding giggles and averting his eyes whenever they met. Haechan was so much better than him, just talking nonchalantly about the season finale with everyone, answering questions — in a display of his good mood — and showing some sense of accomplishment for that being their last table read of the season.

Taeil couldn’t help but stare as Haechan laughed along with Johnny and explained a bit to Yuta. Joohyun commented Taeil was like a princess by the window, almost sighing lovingly at the sight of her beloved, making Taeil’s cheeks warm.

“Maybe your Prince Charming misses you too,” she added. Taeil looked up to see Haechan making a subtle gesture with his head towards the door.

Haechan left the room and, quickly after, Taeil followed. He walked straight for a few moments but couldn’t see Haechan anywhere until he was dragged inside an empty props room.

Between piles of colorful coffee mugs and LPs, Haechan stood there grinning with excitement and pulling Taeil closer — after they made sure the door was closed. Taeil placed his hands on Haechan’s chest and raised his head so their lips would meet.

They had to be careful not to knock anything in that props room and also not to let any mark on each other’s bodies. They had slept together two nights ago and Taeil still had the hickeys on his neck as proof.

Yuta had stared at his bruises in shock, commenting he had no idea Jaehyun was this kinky, and Taeil didn’t have the guts to tell him it wasn’t Jaehyun’s doing. He had decided to put a scarf so it wouldn’t attract any more attention.

“I already miss you, how silly of me,” Haechan said breathlessly after he kissed Taeil’s cheeks.

“Miss you too, miss you always,” Taeil murmured back, accepting Haechan’s affection and feeling his stomach warm.

“Come to my apartment tomorrow,” he asked, in an almost begging tone as he showered more sweet kisses all over Taeil.

Ah, Taeil really was a bad actor, he didn’t even have time to play hard to get, already accepting the request by agreeing with his head.

❂

“Doyoung, hi!” Johnny greeted the businessman politely. What didn’t he do for the sake of his parents...

“Mr. Suh,” Doyoung replied coldly. He had just arrived at the table reading, in his usual black blazer and tie. He scanned the room carefully.

“Hm, where is Mark?” Haechan asked. He had just gotten back to the table read, gone to do god knows what. He was adjusting his jacket as he looked around in search of that stuttering mess of a twink.

Doyoung seemed to be holding back a smirk and his face contorted strangely. “My assistant has a back problem at this moment so I gave him a day off,” he informed.

“Oh...” Hyuck murmured, lost in thoughts.

Johnny was biting his tongue not to make any jokes about the boytoy. “Aren’t you a kind boss?” he said instead, with a thin layer of irony to it. Old habits weren’t easy to kill.

Doyoung didn’t seem to have caught the sarcasm and his lips curled into a creepy smile. “But don’t worry, I brought an even greater guest,” he announced, and for a second Johnny froze. Oh god, had Doyoung finally summoned the demons only the Evil Lizard could summon? He waited for the beast to show up, hands sweating.

“Jaehyun,” Doyoung called and soon a handsome man with a sharp jaw and dressing even more formally than Doyoung showed on the door. Jung Jaehyun, the demon himself. Johnny quickly took a look at Haechan, but the scriptwriter was acting uninterested, only his eyes squinting slightly. “He wanted to meet Taeil and so I suggested him to come to the studio with me,” Doyoung added, as if his evil plans needed any explanation.

“Hello,” Jaehyun greeted everyone with a nod.

Haechan nodded back as well as Johnny, a few seconds after. A cold silence installed between the four men as the rest of the room chatted and laughed.

Johnny was someone who hated awkward silences and was ready to break the tension when someone appeared by the door. Taeil, with his blonde hair slightly messed and a scarf hanging around his neck in this hot spring was smiling happily until he noticed the men in the circle. He was ready to sneak back to where he was when Jaehyun saw the actor and called for him.

“Darling.”

There was no escape. Taeil returned to the room and clasped his hands together, an awkward smile on his lips. “Oh, Jae, hi! What are you doing here?”

“We said we’d meet to discuss something, hm? So I came here to surprise you,” he said with a half-smile.

The attention of everyone in that small circle was over them and Taeil began to worry what Haechan was thinking at that exact moment. He couldn’t look however, Jaehyun couldn’t know about them yet.

“Oh, you didn’t have to...” he said, feigning politeness.

“Of course I did,” Jaehyun interrupted him, leaning closer and pulling Taeil by the waist.

Taeil tripped due to Jaehyun’s strength and he ended with his hands on the man’s chest. Instinctively, Taeil looked over to meet Haechan’s eyes but they stared back at him coldly. Taeil’s heart shrunk.

“We can discuss that somewhere else...” Taeil suggested, trying to fight back the lump in his throat.

“How about we all go to lunch together? My treat!” Doyoung said with an excitement that was hardly seen on him.

Haechan and Johnny exchanged glances and were about to say something when Jaehyun beat them to it.

“Sounds great.”

❂

The table read was the longest 3 hours Taeil had ever gone through in his entire life, beating waiting at audition rooms and even waiting for his sister to have a baby. He couldn’t check his phone and text Haechan or else it’d look impolite to others, the screenwriter had lost any ounce of his good mood, not taking his eyes from the script or saying any word to the cast and Taeil still had to appear calm under Jaehyun’s gaze.

There were no opportunities for him to talk to Haechan after the table read. Jaehyun took him in his car and when they arrived Haechan, Doyoung and Johnny were already sitting on the table.

Taeil tried sitting across from Johnny, but Jaehyun offered him the seat in front of Haechan and so he accepted it. He tried apologizing with his eyes but Haechan didn’t seem as interested in Taeil as he was on the menu.

They didn’t exchange a word the entire lunch. Haechan talked to Johnny when interested and even Doyoung, but avoided mentioning Taeil at all costs. Taeil deflated on his chair.

“What is it you wanted to talk, darling?” Jaehyun whispered to his ear while they were having a glass of wine after the meal was done.

Taeil turned to focus on Jaehyun. “I wanted your help with finding a job for a friend... He’s been fired recently but he’s an excellent make-up artist...”

Jaehyun raised an eyebrow. “Have I heard of him?”

Doyoung was busy quarreling with Johnny on the feud between Cannes and Netflix so Taeil thought it safe to disclose that information. “I don’t think so... His name is Kim Jungwoo.”

Jaehyun shook his head. “Doyoung has him blacklisted.”

“I know but he’s my friend,” Taeil insisted, appealing to Jaehyun’s good heart. “You know how Yunho was on set, I told you...”

“Yunho was one of us, darling. No matter how despicable he was, we have to stand by him,” Jaehyun replied while caressing Taeil’s chin.

Oh, that disgusting club of disgrace that was Hollywood. If Taeil could, he’d destroy them all until a single one of them existed, just so he could see his fellow companions were wiped from Earth. They had the strange idea that if one fell, many would follow and protected each other’s back at all times. Even the most liberal of them, such as Jaehyun, was nothing but an accomplice. Taeil’s mouth was sour, but he still pouted.

“Please, Jae,” he whined and he leaned closer as his hand slipped to caress Jaehyun’s strong thigh.

Accidentally, his eyes fell on Haechan and, for the first time ever since they came out of that props room, Haechan’s stare burned on Taeil. They couldn’t look away, locked in each other’s gazes.

“Your ex seems quite interested in us,” Jaehyun snickered in a whisper to his ear.

“Don’t care for him,” Taeil mumbled but kept staring back at Haechan, trying to say what he was saying was a lie. Jaehyun didn’t seem very convinced by his words and so Taeil’s hand slid to lay a faint touch over Jaehyun’s crotch. “Just... help me please.”

“I’ll see what I can do, gorgeous,” he promised before taking Taeil’s jaw into his hand and bringing Taeil closer for a kiss.

Taeil couldn’t possibly dodge that and so he closed his eyes and kissed back, though not with the same passion as Jaehyun displayed. His heart was beating fast on his chest and he counted the seconds for it to be over so he could go home and explain everything to Haechan.

Haechan would kiss Jaehyun’s saliva away, he’d cuddle Taeil to sleep, he’d assure him everything was alright. Haechan would be there for him.

The kiss was over and Taeil detached his lips from Jaehyun, quick to grab a glass of water. When he looked at the chair in front of him, he saw it was empty.


	21. unbreakable mugs (and hearts)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> taeil is crying by haechan’s door

Haechan didn’t reply to his texts anymore. He didn’t even read them. Taeil felt more tears streaming down his face as he held onto the door behind him. Asking Haechan to forgive him was too much, he should have known. Taeil fucked up once again and it was in his fate to deal with the consequences.

While texting, he had said he wouldn’t leave but... it was late and he felt pitiful just sitting by Haechan’s, waiting for a miracle to happen while his eyes wouldn’t dry. He was starting to consider going to Johnny’s... He wouldn’t ask many questions, he could lay down on a bed and be fresh in the morning. Well, as fresh as someone who lost the love of his life once again could be...

Taeil made the first movements to get up but he couldn’t find strength on his trembling arms or unstable legs. If he could stay there, he would curl up and sleep crying on Haechan’s carpet but Haechan didn’t deserve to see that. Tail had to get up, he could do it.

He supported himself on his arms and pushed up. His legs lost balance and he had to hold onto something not to fall on the floor. Suddenly Taeil felt strong warm hands on his waist.

Haechan was saving him again. Taeil hadn’t even heard the door opening, too busy free falling. He held onto Haechan’s chest and felt like saying something. There was a lump on his throat and he opened his mouth, but could merely gasp. The silver-haired decided to drag him inside with no further words.

He gently sat Taeil on the sofa and went to the kitchen area. “Sit down, gonna make some tea,” he said, boiling water and picking an apple tea bag. It was Taeil’s favorite.

He brought the mug, a blue one with a moon on it. It was part of their couple’s matching mugs set, Haechan had a yellow one with a sun. Taeil was shocked Haechan hadn’t simply broken it into pieces or given it away when they first broke up. Not even after Taeil had kissed Jaehyun in front of him had Haechan gotten rid of them. Taeil’s tea tasted sweeter coming from that mug.

He drank a few gulps and also ate a cookie or two from the ones Haechan had brought with him. His tears finally dried on his cheek and he could breathe properly. Maybe he could stand on his two feet now but he wasn’t so sure he could do the same outside of Haechan’s apartment. For the moment, Haechan’s apartment was the hospital taking care of an ill Illie and Haechan was the nurse and medicine he needed to be strong again.

He put the mug down. “Thank you for opening the door,” he murmured, voice cracking as he tried his best to look at Haechan’s eyes.

“I told you I’d have listened if you had told me about your schemes before. It’s true,” Haechan said with serenity.

Taeil lowered his head, focused on his fidgeting hands. “I-I’m sorry...”

“I know you are...” Haechan reassured him kindly. Still, there was a vacuum in the distance between their bodies that couldn’t be filled with words. Taeil ached for Haechan’s touch but didn’t want to rush it. “You have to choose, Taeil, either me or Jaehyun,” he added, a bit more sternly this time.

“You, you, you, every time,” Taeil eagerly answered, this time even raising his head and voice octaves louder.

Haechan nodded, remaining unfazed. “Break up with him then. You can’t have a boyfriend and a fuckbuddy.”

“You’re not just a boyfriend...” Taeil mumbled while playing with his hands. Haechan had no answer to that so he resumed talking. “Already did, just sent him a text,” he informed and Haechan nodded again, not making any other comment.

It seemed the issue was settled but Taeil was still unsure what just happened.

“I can’t believe you just forgave me this easily,” he confessed, trying to find some hint of deceit inside Haechan’s eyes. He couldn’t be this good, Taeil didn’t deserve this much kindness.

“Maybe I’m a fool...” Haechan chuckled dryly as a hand ran through his hair. There was no actual humor to his words, but Taeil felt warmth on Haechan showing some other emotion than neutrality. “But you came to me, explained your very confusing logic, offered to change and do things to prevent it from happening again. How could I not forgive you?” he asked, sounding to genuinely expect an answer.

Taeil finally understood why he was acting so detached, why Haechan always acted unfazed in tense times. It didn’t mean he didn’t feel any emotion, but exactly the opposite. He was trying to hold his anger and sorrow back.

“But you’re still hurt...” Taeil concluded.

Haechan shrugged and seemed to have a hard time finding words. “Yeah, it will... take some time to heal but it’s okay,” he reassured him with a weak half-smile.

The distance between them was slowly driving Taeil mad. He took Haechan’s hand on his and they intertwined their fingers. Haechan’s hand was always bigger, warmer and slightly rougher than his, he liked how long his fingers were.

Taeil led the hand to his lips and kissed its back. Haechan locked his eyes with Taeil’s and the older saw that as reassurance to come closer. Haechan’s hand was still on his lips as he closed the gap between their bodies. Slowly he put down their hands and stared at Haechan’s parted mouth, a silent question for a kiss. Haechan licked his lips and it was enough for Taeil. He leaned closer and their lips met.

Haechan kissed him back, holding Taeil’s body closer with his free hand. The touch warmed Taeil’s heart, who deepened the kiss but suddenly was pressing his lips against Haechan’s cheek.

“Illie, what are you doing...” Haechan asked, voice still slightly breathless.

Taeil straightened his back and retrieved his hand back, though he felt Haechan lingering touch trying to hold onto it for a few moments longer.

“I-I wanna make you feel better,” he revealed while biting down on his lips. Taeil was insecure about the answer to his next question but it needed to be made. “Hm, do you want this?”

“Yeah, but...” Haechan lost words, sighing loudly.

“But?” Taeil insisted, feeling a little glimpse of hope for what may come.

“I only want this if you want this too... I don’t want you to do this as a reward to me, I’m not like _him_ ,” Haechan explained and there seemed to be a bitter taste to his tongue as he referenced the third pair of hands that seemed permanently stuck between them.

“Hyuckie,” Taeil softly said and, in a bold move, sat on his lap. “I want this,” he murmured as his hands caressed Haechan’s face.

There was a pause. Haechan looked to be considering the weight of his words while pressing his lips into a thin line. Then his hand rubbed Taeil’s nape while bringing him closer to his lips.


	22. yours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they make up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a smut. if you’re uncomfortable, only read the end of the chapter to see any character development~ 
> 
> tags: slightly rough sex, possessive sex, dirty talk, slapping

Somehow, they managed to get into the bedroom without much stumbling. Haechan didn’t remove his hands from Taeil for a single second, a tight grip on his waist, but Taeil couldn’t say he disliked it. Instead, he squirmed to Haechan’s touch and tried to keep up with the heated and fast kiss.

It felt like Haechan was devouring Taeil, starting from his lips, then breath, aiming straight to the heart. The only thing keeping Taeil stable was Haechan’s own arms, one still on his waist while the other palmed his ass with no shame. Taeil clawed his fingers on Haechan’s curls, pulling him away only to catch his own breath again.

“Gosh, Hyuck…” he blurted out, very flustered by such intensity.

“What?” Haechan growled, lips ghosting Taeil’s cheekbones.

Taeil shivered from his reaction, feeling his cock twitch at that. “N-nothing,” he murmured.

“Did you get tested?” Haechan asked.

“Yeah, I’m clean. You?”

A smug smile curled Haechan’s lips as his eyes darkened. “Gonna raw you,” he said, almost like a promise.

He took Taeil’s lips on his once again, keeping the same fast, hungry pace as before. Taeil pliantly tried to respond but failed to do so. Haechan didn’t seem to mind. Soon enough, the older was completely naked while Haechan was wearing his boxers.

Haechan manhandled Taeil on his fours and got out of bed to pick lube from the drawer. Taeil always felt very exposed in this position but Haechan knew he liked to show his ass and it was a particularly good position whenever Haechan felt like going a little rougher.

The fact Taeil couldn’t see what Haechan was doing behind him added more thrill to it and he bit his bottom lip, waiting for a wet lubed finger to enter him. To his surprise, something wet entered him but was very different from a finger. Taeil gasped as he felt Haechan’s tongue licking his rim.

He kept Taeil in place with a tight grip, sinking his fingertips on the plump skin of his hips. It’d probably cause bruises to appear on Taeil’s skin later, but he loved it. There was something possessive about Donghyuck’s touch, Taeil felt protected and wanted like never before.

“H-Hyuck,” he moaned his name as he felt Haechan’s tongue finally entering him and lapping at his hole. “God,” he whined, holding himself on the pillow.

Haechan continued eating Taeil out, not even stopping for oxygen. His face was covered in his own spit as he tried to reach deeper and deeper inside him. Taeil squirmed and jerked a lot, so Haechan needed to keep a tight hold on the wild thing.

After Taeil stopped fighting, Haechan let go of one of his hands to butter it up on the uncapped lube next to him. He soaked his index finger on the cool product and, without any further warning, entered it inside Taeil’s hole.

Taeil whined in surprise. Haechan’s tongue was soft and warm compared to his index finger but the finger definitely reached deeper inside him. Haechan didn’t stop eating him out, straddling Taeil’s legs with his own weight.

Taeil pushed against Haechan’s tongue and finger, so they’d hit deeper spots inside him. Then, Haechan added his middle finger slowly.

“Fuck,” Taeil cursed, feeling the sweet drag on his walls as his hole expanded to fit a tongue and two fingers inside.

Haechan must have liked Taeil’s swearing because his grip on Taeil’s hips increased immediately before he took it from away to slap Taeil’s ass. Taeil moaned even louder than before and Haechan made sure to slap his ass one more time before groping it.

He began properly fingering him, taking his fingers out before sinking them inside Taeil again. From time to time he slapped Taeil’s asscheeks, causing the older to whimper and jerk forward. He loved the element of surprise. Just when Taeil had completely forgotten about the slap, Haechan reminded him again while he kept fingering and eating him out.

He finally removed his tongue to add a third finger inside Taeil’s hole. Taeil bit his bottom lip and raised his hips against Haechan’s hand.

“Take my fingers so well, so well…” Haechan praised him with a hoarse voice after having eaten Taeil out. His free hand caressed Taeil’s ass cheeks. “So pretty for me,” he complimented, hitting Taeil’s ass again.

“Y-yeah,” Taeil agreed, feeling shivers down his spine from Haechan’s words.

“For me only, hm?” Haechan asked more intensely this time.

“For you only,” Taeil said back.

He felt his knees wobbly and weak just from Haechan’s fingers. Taeil drooled on the pillow thinking what Haechan’s bare cock would do to his insides once it penetrated him. Fortunately, he didn’t have to wait any longer. Haechan took out the fingers and Taeil heard a distinct noise of Haechan uncapping the lube, probably to coat his dick on the substance.

His guess was proven to be true when he felt two hands on his hips, pulling him close to the head of Haechan’s length could pass through his rim.

“Good,” Haechan finally replied. “Because you’re mine,” he asserted possessively, letting his fingers dig deeper onto Taeil’s gold soft skin.

“Y-yours,” Taeil nodded, pushing back against Haechan cock.

It swiftly sunk inside Taeil, who gasped at the friction of Haechan’s balls against his ass.

Haechan lowered him to whisper in Taeil's ear, “Only mine.”

He began thrusting slowly, holding him with his claws on his hips. Even if not at a fast pace, the intensity of his thrusts was too much and Taeil stopped trying to raise himself with his arms. Taeil fell on his hands, enhancing the curve of his ass for Haechan’s view and having only the pillows as support.

“Can he fuck you like this?” Haechan asked after a particularly hard thrust that hit just the right spot.

Taeil only moaned in response. His cock was painfully hard and leaking but he didn’t dare to stroke it. Haechan was particularly harsh and domineering that night, he wouldn’t let Taeil masturbate as he fucked him.

“Answer me, Illie,” he commanded with authority.

“N-no,” Taeil stuttered out just as Haechan began fucking him faster against the mattress.

“Good to remind you that,” he said with a chuckle. There was a faint sound of lack of air to his speech but Haechan kept talking. “Like my dick?”

“Y-yeah,” Taeil whined, clenching around Haechan’s length.

“Love my dick, right? Wanna be impaled in it?” he asked smugly.

More pre-come leaked from Taeil’s dick. He had forgotten how good Haechan was at dirty talk when he felt like it. Taeil was completely wrecked by his words alone.

“Fuck yeah, Hyuck,” he blurted out and Haechan lowered his torso so his tummy touched Taeil’s back.

“You’re mine,” he said in his ear and licked the area before raising himself up again and fucking Taeil.

“Hyuckie, please,” Taeil whimpered, a desperate tear leaving his eye.

“Please what, babe?” Haechan asked, slowly stopping his thrusts and brushing his thumb on Taeil’s hip with care.

“Fuck me harder,” Taeil begged.

Haechan laughed mischievously and immediately pulled out.

Taeil whined, feeling his inside empty and was quick to protest. “No, no, no—“ he chanted in desperation, turning around and trying to grab Haechan.

The younger was wide-eyed at such a reaction. He held Taeil’s wrists and came closer, speaking softly, “What, babe?”

“Don’t stop… Don’t go,” he said while pouting. His voice cracked by the end and he tried reaching out for Haechan once again.

“Won’t stop, Illie… I just want to see your pretty face,” Haechan reassured him with a half-smile, dropping his wrist so he could caress his cheeks.

“Oh,” Taeil said dumbfounded.

“You’re so needy for me, huh?” Haechan teased, hovering over him and caging Taeil between his arms. “It’s okay, you know, I won’t leave you,” he added, more serious this time.

Taeil avoided his gaze and, maybe if it wasn’t so dark Haechan would see his cheeks reddening, but it was too dark in the room for him to see. The way Taeil bit his bottom lip was enough for Hyuck to see he was torn.

“Sorry for this, I don’t know what—“

Taeil tried to speak as fast as he could, but he was stopped by a tender finger on his lips.

“Shhh, it’s okay,” Haechan murmured, pulling his finger away only to give a quick peck to Taeil’s lips. “Tonight has been emotional, it’d show up in sex somehow.”

Taeil gulped and raised his hand to remove Haechan’s sweaty hair away from his forehead. The moment was filled with a delicate sense of intimacy and Haechan locked his eyes with Taeil’s before leaning closer to take his lips on his again.

Taeil kissed him back gently, pulling Haechan’s face closer. Gradually, it became more passionate as Haechan began devouring Taeil’s lips, sucking and biting them. Taeil whimpered softly and Haechan hiked his legs up. He positioned his cock on Taeil’s rim and thrust inside as he kept kissing his lips.

Taeil’s hands dropped to Haechan’s back, scratching it as Haechan reached deeper inside of him. When finally their lips parted for breath, Taeil moaned out loud, “S-so good, Hyuckie.”

It seemed as if Taeil’s words had an effect on Haechan, who smiled proudly as he pounded inside his boyfriend.

“You look so gorgeous on my cock,” he praised with a hoarse voice. “So beautiful and all mine,” he added, hands on Taeil’s waist, once again digging his fingers in the flesh and marking his territory.

“Yours,” Taeil nodded eagerly.

Something dark passed through Haechan’s eyes and his next thrust went deeper inside Taeil.

“Can he fuck you as good as I do? Did he make you come like I do?” he asked in a commanding tone.

“No, never,” Taeil shook his head. “You’re the only one,” he promised.

“I better be,” Haechan muttered but soon his tone changed. “Fuck, you’re so good,” he breathed out after Taeil clenched around him. “Can’t wait to come inside and fill you up, babe…”

Taeil’s eyes widened and he pushed even further against Haechan.

“Please, please,” he begged, feeling too close to coming. The amount of pre-come leaking from his dick was ridiculous.

“What?” Haechan teased him.

“Come inside me, Hyuckie, please,” he asked, feeling himself near his orgasm by the thought of Haechan’s white come inside him.

“Fuck, Illie, you’re so sexy,” Haechan cursed, completely mesmerized. “I’m only coming after you come on my cock,” he said.

Haechan then changed the position of his thrusts just so his cock would reach Taeil’s sensitive spot. Taeil was a blabbering and moaning mess as Haechan thrust into him relentlessly. It didn’t even take him a minute to come between their stomach and Haechan followed him, chasing his orgasm and coming inside.

Taeil laid still, feeling Haechan’s seed inside him. Fuck, it was better than he even remembered.

Haechan kissed his forehead and slowly got out of Taeil, seeing his come leaking for Taeil’s abused hole. He hopped from the bed and picked up wipes and water.

He sat on the bed, ready to take care of that mess, but then he heard quiet sniffs and noticed Taeil was crying. Haechan immediately dropped everything on the bed and scooped closer to hold Taeil in his arms and wipe his tears away.

“Illie…” he murmured, not quite sure what to say. Taeil continued crying.

After a few minutes, Taeil spoke in his broken, teary voice. “I-I just didn’t know if you’d take me back and, and… I don’t deserve you, Hyuckie, I really don’t…”

“Shhh, don’t speak nonsense,” Haechan told him, wiping away more tears with his thumb. “I will never leave you, as long as you will have me.”

Taeil shook his head in disbelief. “I _really_ don’t deserve yo—“

“Don’t say that,” Haechan interrupted him. He picked up with wipes and began cleaning Taeil’s stomach with slow brushes. “You are my muse, Moon Taeil, and I say that in the deepest of senses. The Donghyuck you know wouldn’t exist if I hadn’t met you. So, for you to say that you don’t deserve me is a paradox, because I am a direct effect of meeting and falling in love with you.”

Taeil picked on his bottom lip’s skin. He seemed torn but still visibly relaxed by Haechan’s words.

“I love you so much,” he said, voice still weak even if the tears were long gone.

“Love you too, babe,” Haechan said with a smile. He dropped the spoiled wipes on the trash next to the bed and lowered his head to kiss Taeil’s lips. “Now drink some water and spread those pretty legs so I can get all that come out from you,” he said after the sweet kiss ended.

He gave Taeil a water bottle and crawled to the other end of the bed, spreading Taeil’s legs so he could clean his body.

“Ah, this is embarrassing,” Taeil murmured, hiding his face between his hands.

“You weren’t shy ten minutes ago…” Haechan teased with a smirk. Taeil stuck his tongue out and took a few gulps of water. As Haechan went through Taeil’s body, he caught some purple bruises that raised concern. “Sorry if I was too harsh tonight…” he said with regret.

“You were so possessive,” Taeil commented and Haechan lowered his eyes in shame. “I loved it.”

Haechan felt a little smug knowing Taeil had liked it, but it still didn’t erase the purples on his body. “You’re bruised.”

“I can take care of myself,” Taeil replied. “I’d have used our safe word if I wanted to.”

Haechan nodded but he finished cleaning Taeil quietly. He got up to dispose of the wipes and water bottle and returned to bed to cuddle Taeil, but the older could see something still bothered him.

Taeil nuzzled against Haechan’s chest. “Hyuckie, believe me, it was so hot and I felt fuzzy all over,” he said, looking up. “There’s nothing quite like sex with you.”

“Ah, was my dick so good it turned you into Shakespeare?” Haechan mocked while grinning.

“Ya! Shut up!” Taeil tried pushing him away but Haechan pulled him close and didn’t let him go until he stopped fighting. They slept tangled with each other’s legs and arms.


	23. end of the season

It had taken some time for Mark to bring Doyoung to set. Between new movie productions, the seasons for pilots starting, Mark hardly met his own boss besides in the intimacy of his apartment. Finally, on the last day of filming for the season, Doyoung decided to come with the only purpose of laughing at Johnny Suh’s face when it was all wrapped up.

Doyoung watched the last scenes being shot with a mischievous smile on his lips. It didn’t matter that Johnny, as the director and showrunner, would still oversee editing and special effects. Doyoung was ready to be free from his insolence, Lee Haechan’s snobbishness, and Haechan and Taeil’s constant arguments.

The executive was so excited, he barely noticed Mark sneaking out to the external area of the set to meet with a pink-haired woman.

“Ready for our plan?” Yerim asked in a low voice.

“Yeah...” Mark nodded shyly.

“Mark, I can’t believe you agreed to this,” she said, caressing his arm briefly.

“I-I... Our friendship really matters to me,” he revealed with a shrug to ease down on the seriousness of his confession.

“It matters to me too...” she said back, but there was an unspoken awkwardness to the situation.

Mark knew Yerim meant what she said. Even if by message she had been ruthless with the truth, in real life she didn’t seem very comfortable blackmailing Mark with her friendship. Oddly, it comforted Mark she’d go this far for a friend. He hoped she would do the same for him someday.

Mark nodded his head again and gulped. “Take the pictures fast,” he advised her, taking a few steps to return to the internal area.

“Promise,” Yerim said, walking towards Mark’s opposite way, to the trailers.

They exchanged one last gaze at each other and nodded. The plan was to commence.

❂

Taeil carefully kissed Haechan’s lips on the bed of his trailer. He didn’t have to worry about his make-up anymore, his scenes for the season had already been filmed, but he didn’t want it to be too apparent they had just made out.

For the last few weeks, the two had gone through a secret honeymoon phase. Taeil often slept on Haechan’s apartment and Haechan even suggested he moved in to which Taeil had to say no even if his heart wanted to say yes. It was easy to fall back into a routine with a boyfriend that was once your ex, but Taeil wanted to take it slow and for them to rediscover each other.

Still, that didn’t mean he wouldn’t make out with Haechan at the back of his trailer whenever he could. Maybe people were starting to notice Haechan mysteriously disappeared at the same time as Taeil’s breaks, but they didn’t care much for it.

Haechan held Taeil’s waist and deepened the kiss. He was always one to have mood for quickies while on set.

A knock disrupted their make-out session. Taeil looked at himself in the mirror. He was slightly more disheveled than he’d like, so he quickly fixed his hair and clothes. Haechan was shamelessly checking Taeil out and leaned closer for a kiss just when Yerim barged inside the trailer.

“It’s time,” she announced and walked out.

Haechan ignored Yerim and tried kissing Taeil again, but Taeil chuckled and avoided his lips.

“Come, babe,” Taeil called him.

Haechan rolled his eyes and grunted but followed when Taeil pulled him by the hand. They stopped handholding the second they were out of the trailer.

Yerim was hidden behind a bush on the farthest and most deserted spot in the trailer parking lot. Taeil and Haechan walked towards the spot and kneed next to her.

“Mark will come and kiss Doyoung any time now. We should have our demands planned,” she informed, her eyes not leaving the trailer park.

“That’s easy. Bring Jungwoo back, raise the pay for the crew and renew Haechan and Johnny’s contracts,” Taeil said with a shrug.

Haechan lost his smile and frowned. “Wait, Illie...”

“What?” Taeil asked, clueless.

“Shhhh, they are coming,” Yerim said just as she spotted the two black-haired men walking to the darker area of the trailer park.

“Do you think Doyoung licks while he kisses? Like a lizard?” Haechan asked and Taeil had to muffle his mouth for his giggles not to be heard.

“Ewwww, Haechan!” Yerim whispered and pushed Haechan.

“They look cute,” Taeil commented, watching Mark bounce on his feet as Doyoung looked down on him.

Doyoung lifted Mark’s chin and Mark visibly squirmed with the touch.

“That twink is so whipped...” Haechan muttered.

Mark was just saying something when Doyoung interrupted him with a kiss. Yerim took dozens of pictures on different cellphones. She would have liked to wait until Mark and Doyoung were done kissing, but Haechan didn’t care. Doyoung hadn’t been shy interrupting him and Taeil countless times on set, this was simple payback.

Haechan jumped out of the bush and stopped right in front of them. He crossed his arms. “What do we have here...”

Doyoung stopped kissing Mark but didn’t look embarrassed at all. “Mr. Lee, Mr. Moon, what brings you here?”

Taeil and Yerim had run to catch up with Haechan. As Doyoung had no idea who worked in the crew, he didn’t know Yerim’s name.

Haechan smiled, feeling victorious. “We have pictures of you and your much younger subordinate making out. I’m sure that, no matter the context, those won’t be seen very favorably by the LA Times...”

Haechan expected Doyoung to drop his smile, maybe curse him a little, even threaten to sue. However, the scriptwriter was completely ignored. Doyoung chuckled and turned to his subordinate, who stood very close to him.

“That was your plan, huh?” he asked with amusement. Mark nodded shyly and Doyoung turned to look at Haechan, appearing to be uninterested. “Fine, what do you want for those pictures?”

“Reinstate Jungwoo, clean his name and raise the salary for the crew,” Haechan declared confidently. Doyoung seemed to be considering.

“What about your contract, Hyuckie?” Taeil asked, frowning in confusion.

Haechan would have liked to ignore his questions and continue with negotiations but Taeil looked at him with innocent puppy eyes. Haechan sighed.

“Some time for us to discuss!” he yelled, grabbing Taeil’s wrist to drag him a few steps away from Doyoung and Mark.

Doyoung rolled his eyes. “Ah, what a group of professionals... I don’t have all day, Mr. Lee,” he informed, sounding impatient.

“You don’t want to work on the show’s last season?” Taeil asked with a hint of sadness to his voice.

Haechan lowered his eyes. “I... don’t know, Illie...”

“Why not? Six seasons was our promise. Because of me, you couldn’t stay for season four but you deserve to fix all characters’ stories and finish this yourself,” Taeil said, a weak hopeful smile on his lips. “Only one more year,” he whispered like a secretive promise between them.

“This show... it destroyed us,” Haechan argued, voice cracking in the end.

Taeil shook his head. “It brought us together, Hyuckie. It won’t affect us, we work great together,” he looked for Haechan’s eyes and lost his smile for a second. “If I could, I’d quit only for you to finish this masterpiece yourself. But my contract won’t let me... You have much more right over ‘Studio 127’ than I have, you crafted it yourself.”

Haechan immediately caressed Taeil’s cheeks. “Now, you’re smarter than this. When an actor performs, their character is more than just the creation of the writer, you know this. You not only inspired but also became Jude, Illie,” he said, the image of Taeil interpreting Jude going through his mind.

He remembered the many times the two discussed the character, dancing with Taeil through the studio, the few compliments Haechan told him to boost his confidence, brainstorming the episodes’ plots with Johnny, mocking Yuta’s bright personality, hiding from Joohyun... Haechan loved “Studio 127” with all his heart, but he also loved Taeil even more.

“You’re positive this won’t destroy us?” he asked, a little uncertain.

“I will let you leak those photos online if you take much longer! I don’t have all day,” Doyoung yelled from his side. If Haechan wasn’t so focused on Taeil’s eyes he’d turn around and tell Doyoung to just fuck his twink in the open if he was that horny.

“I am,” Taeil replied with a sweet half-smile.

Haechan briefly held his hand, sealing their agreement, before they turned around and walked back to where they were standing, next to Yerim.

“We’d also like to add a year to mine and Johnny’s contracts,” Haechan said loudly.

“Another year of Mr. Suh...” Doyoung muttered, with distaste to his mouth. It almost seemed like he was going to object this but his eyes landed on a hopeful Mark and he sighed. “Fine, fine, in one year my hell will be over...”

Yerim exclaimed in excitement, clapping her hands while Taeil jumped straight for Haechan’s arms. They kissed in celebration.

“Oh, you’re a thing again? Good gracious...” Doyoung said, unimpressed but already fearing the next year of that production. Mark held his arm and Doyoung looked down on him. “Oh, Marky, this reminds me... You’re fired for blackmail. Will you be my boyfriend now?”

Mark didn’t answer with words. He nodded shyly and bounced on his feet until Doyoung raised his chin so they’d kiss again.

“Ah, they _are_ kinda cute,” Yerim admitted, feeling warm at the sight of her friend being so happy.

“I get a feeling Doyoung only let this slide for Mark’s sake,” Taeil murmured.

“Lizard of Evil has feelings, will make sure to tell that to Johnny.” Haechan laughed, already imagining Johnny’s reaction. “And also share we have one more season together!”

“I can listen to you!” Doyoung snarled before turning his back and walking away with his new boyfriend.

❂

The director yelled cut. A loud bell rang. Joohyun, Yuta, and Seulgi exited the scene. Johnny checked the scene on the camera and okayed it. Another loud ringing sound was heard, signaling the end of the filming day. Johnny stood up and everyone gathered around him.

The director took a look at the set, trying to find his partner in crime but not spotting Haechan anywhere. Haechan often disappeared middle shooting those days so Johnny simply shrugged.

“This is a wrap for the season, guys!” the director announced loudly while clasping his hands together. “Thank you so much for all your hard work this season. Haechan and I were very hesitant coming back, we left with some grudges, but nothing that can’t be fixed in our big happy family,” he joked with a big smile. People laughed but still nodded. Big family metaphors were such a cliche, but there were no other words to describe them. “Nonetheless, we came back to find things had changed. Taeil had bright red hair, Yuta stopped thirsting over me, Doyoung was nicer,” he said the last part looking slightly unsure and earned more chuckles from the crowd. “Hm, maybe that last one was too much... However, we found most things were the same. Yuta was still filled with energy and positivity, Joohyun remained scary and Taeil and Haechan still had that weird thing no one can quite understand.” Johnny paused, letting everyone reminisce about the moments they liked the most during that time together. “This was a great year. Thank you for many nights working late, for enduring last-minute script changes, for nodding your heads whenever Haechan and I came up with an impossible idea that you somehow made it work. Thank you, this crew really feels like family.” Another pause. Now came the news of abandonment. Johnny had to rip the bandaid fast. “Unfortunately, your dads have to leave again—“

“Wait!” Haechan yelled, running inside the studio and dragging Taeil by the wrist while Yerim followed.

“Haechan?” Johnny asked, confused as to why his scriptwriter looked as eager as someone interrupting a priest before a wedding vow is sealed.

“Let me speak!” Haechan exclaimed, letting go of Taeil’s hand standing on a chair. Johnny was impressed, Haechan never did speeches. He yielded his word with an elegant hand wave.

“I have three great news for everyone. First, Johnny and I will stay for the last season of the show!” he announced, a bright smile in his eyes and lips.

“What?!” Johnny shouted as everyone celebrated the news.

Haechan raised two fingers. “Second, the crew gets a raise for next season!”

The celebrations were even wilder this time, hurrays so loud Haechan barely could speak his last news. He tried calling their attention again and only gave the last news when everyone was quiet.

“Last but not least. We lost a good member of this team this season but he will be rehired. Everyone, give a round of applause for our now promoted make-up artist, Kim Jungwoo!”

Jungwoo came from the external area, flapping his hair and smiling.

“Baby!” Yuta, who had no idea Jungwoo would be making an appearance, jumped on his boyfriend immediately. They almost fell to the floor but managed to kiss each other without any injuries.

Johnny was seriously impressed now. “This is great—“ he said but was interrupted by Haechan who had his eyes on Taeil.

“Oh! Wait! I forgot one more thing,” he yelled at the cast and crew.

“More shocking than all those ones?” Johnny asked, having a hunch on what would be the last announcement.

“Possibly not,” Haechan confessed. He resumed talking with a more dreamy tone to his voice. “A poet can never be awake by day or else he might miss his precious moon at night.” Haechan pulled Taeil up to the chair with him. “Taeil and I are back together,” he announced and Taeil hid his face on the crook of Haechan’s neck.

“It was only a matter of time!” Johnny yelled, barely containing his happiness. Ah, the ends of seasons were always so exciting. He couldn’t wait for the next episodes to come.

Everyone yelled for Haechan and Taeil to kiss and Haechan gladly took Taeil’s lips on his, smiling as they kissed. Everyone else felt like the audience to their grand show.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [return to the next text au update by clicking here ](https://twitter.com/thegreatmoon94/status/1313621688572170240?s=21)

**Author's Note:**

> tell me your thoughts on the update on the comment section or over cc !!!
> 
> i write taeil pairing fics and hyuckil text aus ~~  
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>    
> xx  
> sol


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